The Countess

Hot Screeching Excerpt - The Red Light Horror

This one is erotic horror, a switch for me, since
I usually write erotic comedy. Read it, get scared,
and enjoy!

Do you want the entire story? Write to me at
trishcwilson@comcast.net, and
I'll see what I can do.

EXCERPT - THE RED LIGHT HORROR
Genre: Erotic Horror
Two-part Serial
Appeared in Scarlet Magazine in 2007
Heat Level: Scorching Hot
Type: F/M with hints of swinging and kink
By Elizabeth Black

She snapped the red glo-stick on her wrist. She pulled
the brass knocker on the door. Now she had done it.
A small door at eye-level slid back. A pair of eyes
encircled with dark eyeliner peered at her. The look
was suspicious.

"I'm here for the, er… party. I was invited. Is Eric
here yet?" Jess's voice sounded so nervous that
she was embarrassed. The door closed in her face.
For a moment, she feared she had been turned
away. Then, she heard deadbolts clicking back,
chains loosening, and the doorknob unlocking.
She grasped the doorknob in her hand, and
twisted it.

The door opened to a smoke-filled light show.
Jess held up her arm to show the lit red glo-stick.

"Eric sent me. My name is Jess," she said.

"Ah, Eric has been talking about you for weeks.
It's good to finally meet his new choice," the man
at the door said.

"His new choice? What you do mean?" Jess asked.

"It's best to let Eric explain himself. I must say
that you are the finest one to come through this
door in a long time."

Jess was confused by what he meant, but the smell
of clove cigarettes floating around her head took
her mind off his comments. There was also the
smell of incense and the sweet sweat rolling off
dimly-glimpsed, frantically gyrating bodies. Jess
walked inside.

Those bodies weren't dancing. They were
making out. Several nude men groped on a pile
of large throw pillows. They had the most
magnificent bodies that Jess had ever seen.
No body like that was created in a gym or
with steroids. Jess stared at their broad chests
and six-pack stomachs as their strong hands
kneaded each other's bodies. She couldn’t take
her eyes off of them. She had never before
seen such muscular bodies. What would they
do if she reached out one hand and stroked a
sweaty chest? She wanted to join in the groping,
but she held back. Two women explored each
other's mouths with their tongues while their
long fingers brushed against bare breasts and
nipples. Those two women had the largest
nipples Jess had ever seen. One of the women
emerged long enough to take a breath from
kissing, and she glanced at Jess. Jess realized
with embarrassment that she had been staring
at them. The woman grinned at her, and winked.
She then went back to her lover's moist mouth.
Jess suddenly felt very hot. She wiped sweat from
her forehead with her bare hand. A man and woman
rubbed against each other in time to the trance that
played on loudspeakers. The man squeezed the
woman's left breast so hard that Jess felt as if his
fingers had pressed against her own breast and
left a bruise. She rubbed her legs together to stave
off the hot wave she felt in her pussy. She decided
to throw herself into that crowd and get lost in
the groping hands and fingers. Her excitement
reached a peak as she moved forward.

As she walked through the crowd, she felt hands
brush against her body. Against her back, her
breasts, her arse and her thighs. Jess welcomed
the eager hands. She moved her body so that the
crowd could easily feel her. She liked the long
fingers against her breasts and her arse. The
revellers smiled at her as if they knew her. A
few blew soft kisses against her long black hair.
The touches were like electric shocks. She did
not feel mauled at all. It was as if each person
knew where her most sensitive erogenous zones
were, and their fingers found their way to her
hot spots. She felt light-headed from the urgent
beat of the music and the rumbling of her racing
heart.

Jess's attention was drawn to a group of beautiful
men and women crowded around a large couch
off to her left. Sweaty men and women piled at
the base of the couch on large pillows. At first
they ignored her, but slowly, one by one, they
turned to look at her. They did not stop their
groping and touching. They merely turned to
look at her. The one closest to Jess had thick
red hair down to her bare waist. She wore only
black leather pants and black fuck-me pumps.
Her full breasts bobbed up and down as she
rode the bare leg of a muscular yet feminine
woman with a tattoo of a rose on her upper
arm. Rose Woman lowered her full lips to
Redhead's hard nipple. She rolled her tongue
over that nipple, making it turn purple. Jess
couldn't take her eyes off of the two women.
She shifted from one leg to the other, feeling
her pussy heat up and melt. Redhead winked
at Jess, who quickly lowered her head out of
embarrassment. Jess couldn't resist watching,
though. She raised her head to stare at Redhead
as she lifted her D-cup breasts to Rose Woman's
plump, pink lips. An impossibly long tongue
darted out, and flicked against those hard,
purple nipples. Redhead arched her back and
threw her head back, her long red hair falling
in a cascade behind her. Jess swallowed hard.
Her mouth was dry. A pulse trip-hammered
in her throat. The room spun with her
excitement and the heady scents of clove and
musky sweat. It took all of her will to resist
jumping into that pile of gyrating, hot people.
She wiped her sweaty palms against her dress.

Muscular hands grasped Redhead by the hair,
and turned her head away from Jess. An
angular male face emerged from the crowd
to press his lips against Redhead's throat.
Fascinated, Jess stared at the pulse she saw
beating beneath Redhead's sweaty skin. She
wanted to run her tongue along Redhead's
throat and feel the urgent beat of that pulse
against her hot lips. What would her sweat
taste like? Her blood? What if she nipped at
Redhead's throat just enough to draw a little
of that precious red liquid? Jess imagined the
salty, coppery taste. She wanted to lose
herself in Redhead's arms. She could nearly
hear Redhead's heart pounding, and
wondered if she really heard her own heart's
frantic beat. While Redhead and the man
glanced at Jess once or twice, Rose Woman
could not be bothered.

The man unzipped Redhead's leather
pants from the back. The zipper ran
down her arse. He lowered her pants,
and Redhead shook them off. Sweat
glowed on her long, lithe body. Redhead
leaned forward on a futon while Rose
Woman lapped at her pendulous breasts.
Jess finally had a good look at the man.
His body was rock hard. Dark hair
covered his chest and arms. A gold ring
pierced his left nipple. Jess's eyes
wandered from his broad chest to his
erect dick, which was thick and nearly
ten inches long. Maybe it was his
muscular body that made his dick
look so big. He glanced at Jess as
he licked his fingers, and then used
his hands to spread Redhead's arse
cheeks apart. She curled her back to
receive him. Slowly, he pushed his
dick into her arsehole. Jess's arse
puckered as she watched. Did the man
invite her to join them? Fascinated and
aroused, she watched but did not move
towards them. She wanted to feel that
thick cock inside her. She shifted from
one foot to the other to allow her hot,
moist pussy some breathing room. Her
breath came out in bursts. The man
thrust inside Redhead, who craned her
neck and let out a moan much too deep
for a woman. She tossed her hair aside,
and smiled at Jess, who felt her face turn
red, but she couldn't take her eyes off of
them. She wanted to peel off her clothes
and run her hands through Redhead's hair
while the man shoved his dick deep inside
her. She had never had anal sex before.
Would the man's huge dick hurt as it went in?
Redhead enjoyed herself. Jess's ass puckered
as she watched the man slowly thrust his dick
in and out of Redhead. She wanted to
immerse herself in that writhing crowd and
lose herself.

Jess stood very still and stared back at
them. She felt very hot, very aroused,
and very alone. Unable to move, she
stood motionless, like a deer caught in
a car's headlights just before being
mowed down. She stood and stared until
the crowd divided like water, and a man
emerged alone.

He was the most luscious man Jess had
ever seen. He was over six feet tall.
Everyone in the pile craned their necks
to stare up at him. Redhead, Rose Woman,
and the man reached for him. Their
fingers brushed against his strong legs.
He wore tight black jeans that enhanced
every curve on his lithe, athletic body. A
loose cotton shirt covered his broad chest.
He wore his shoulder-length, thick,
blue-black hair in a long sheet. His skin
was the color of café au lait, and his eyes
revealed Japanese ancestry.

When he reached Jess, the man held out
one perfectly-manicured hand, and
stroked Jess's cheek. His fingers were
cool to the touch. Jess felt those fingers
move over her skin like an electric shock.
Without thinking, she tiled her head into
that inviting hand, wishing for more touch.

"Hello, Jess," the man said in a deep voice
as thick and warm as honey. "My name is Eric."

I Have Been Tagged By Lance Mannion!!

It's a variation on that familiar "Page 123" meme. Here are the details. Lance Mannion tagged me to do it.

• look up page 123 in the nearest book
• look for the fifth sentence
• then post the three sentences that follow that fifth sentence on page 123.

Lance hopes that I have an erotica book nearby so he can read an excerpt with naughty words like "boobies" and "throbbing love muscle" in it.

I'm sad to say that's not the case, since the nearest book to me is "Interstellar Travel and Multi-Generational Space Ships." Gee, doesn't that sound exciting!! I just made every penis reading this post go hopelessly limp. Ha!

So, here are the three sentences that follow that fifth sentence in that anything-but-sexy book.

On the panel I walked into - "Worldbuilding" - Bob Forward was talking with a wicked grin about the process he went trhough in writing RoRocheworld, and telling how he had to invent a new way todointerstellar flight, since he'd casually given his earlier idea awy to Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle two years before, and they'd written it into a novel. The way he spoke, its sounded a lot more like fun than work.

The interstellar flight system he was talking about eventually appeared in a novel (which I read in the Analog serial under the title Flight of the Dragonfly), and then a few years later showed up as a technical paper with some of the details worked out.

Since that was about as exciting as watching slugs mate, I figured it would hurt to post some sentences from one of my own works.

Since Lance wanted smut so badly, and I'm so sorry that I let him down so badly with that very dry science fiction stuff, here are a few sentences from my paranormal erotic romance novel "An Unexpected Guest". I sent this book to the fine e-publisher Ellora's Cave, and I heard from EC over the weekend. They are interested!!! It will be awhile before I hear more, but I made it past the first big hurdle. EC is the top e-publisher of "romantica" out there.

Here ya go, Lance - just for you.

"She sat astride him, straddling his hips. Her skin warmed and moistened with each tender brush of his fingers. He alternated between gently running his hands across her hot belly to crushing her breasts beneath his fingers. She lowered herself until she was lying beside him on the table. The wooden surface felt icy cold against the heat of her skin."

If you want more, keep an eye on my blog. I'll give updates regarding the status of my novel.

Hot Excerpt - Happily Ever After

Hot Screeching Excerpt - Happily Ever After
By Elizabeth Black
Published By Scarlet Magazine In 2004
Word Count: 3,174
Type: M/F
Genre: Erotic Fantasy/Fairy Tell Retelling
Heat Level: Scorching!

HAPPILY EVER AFTER - EXCERPT

Cinderella grabbed a bread roll in one slender hand and threw it into the fire. Cinders flew in the air. Wood sparked and sizzled as much as she did. She wailed. She pulled her hair. She stomped her feet. She banged her delicate fists on the table, making the red grapes jump in their silver bowl.

"If you don't stop that incessant racket, I'll tie you up myself."

She snatched up another roll, whirled towards the voice and pitched the bread with all her strength. The man who caught it without effort was so luscious she caught her breath.

Six feet of muscle, sinew and cheeky attitude stood before her. His long mane of blond hair was tied from behind in a black velvet ribbon. A triangular black velvet chapeau tipped jauntily on his head. A brocade and velvet coat in paisley colours, predominately emerald green, draped across strong, broad shoulders and muscular arms. Long, muscled legs were wrapped in tight black cloth pants and tall leather boots. A satin sash encircled his waist. His grin was so broad that it creased the corners of the brightest blue eyes Cinderella had ever seen.

He was definitely not from the neighbourhood.

"Who are you? Get the hell out of my palace before I call the guards."

"Down, girl. Calm yourself. I'm here to help you. After all, you called me."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't call anyone."

"Dressed in that little nightie having a scorching temper tantrum, you most certainly did call me." He crossed the room and pressed a piece of paper into her hand. "My card."

It read: SEX COACH - DEPARTMENT OF MAGICAL BEINGS. An Equal Opportunity Employer.

She realised that she did, indeed, stand before him dressed only in a sheer nightgown. Suddenly embarrassed, she wrapped her arms tightly around her ample breasts. She stared at the card for a few moments, and then she recognized the organization. She stared at him, back at the card, and back at him.

"You're not my Fairy Godmother," she said stupidly.

"Good Heaven's, no," he laughed. "That old cow wouldn't know what to do with your problem if it came up and bit her on the arse."

She said nothing. She could only continue to stare at him, standing with her arms covering herself like Botticelli's painting of Venus. Where did he come from? How did he get in? She thought she had returned that lamp to the market weeks ago…

New At Nuts4chic - The Sexiest Jobs

This week's Nuts4chic article is about sexy jobs. Yes, I mention sex writer. Couldn't let that one get by without a comment.

Here are a few sexy jobs that didn't make my list because I ran out of space:

Entertainer/Model – If sexy but poor and living in a rundown apartment appeals to you, hook up with an actor, model, or dancer. They look good and they are charming. I don't think there's much of a future in this kind of person unless you are lucky enough to hook up with the next Hugh Jackman or Elle Macpherson.

Artist – See above. Not much good for money most of the time, but great for style. All that black doesn't scream Emo. It screams Jump My Bones.

Teacher – Remember Van Halen's video to their hit song, "Hot For Teacher"? 'Nuff said.

CEO – CEO stands for Cash Equals Orgasms. Those millions plus the flashy designer suits and high-end living turn on many hopeful women.

Flight Attendant – Everyone has heard of the fantasy of the sexy flight attendants.Vintage commercials in the U. S. used to show sexy flight attendants who said things like "I’m Bambi. Fly me." Flight attendants aren't the only ones who can have good sexy fun on a plan. Some German airlines recently decided to add nude flights to its itinerary. The first nude flight will be a day-trip on July 5. There are only 50 seats on the flight. Lucky passengers may disrobe once they are on the plane. The pilot and the flight attendants will stay fully clothed.

Military Men And Women – Do you find people in uniform to be sexy? You're not alone.

Some of the sexiest jobs are downright amusing. Condom Man is a guy in a condom suit who passes out condoms to people at a beach in Chile. I can't decide if this job is sexy or just plain silly.

Many men love to see scantily-clad women Jel-lo wrestling, but the reverse isn't necessarily considered sexy – especially if you're the former New York University student who sued NYU for a cool million after he broke his hip while Jell-o wrestling. His case was tossed out of court.

TV Anchor/Personality – I don't get this one. We have Fox News in the U. S., and no matter how attractive the TV anchor may be, his or her obnoxious commentary is a complete turn-off for me. Plus I've seen better rugs in an old, beat-up VW Bus back in 1971. There is also an bias against women. U. S. TV anchor Christine Craft was demoted when her bosses declared her "too old, unattractive, and not deferential enough to men". She sued, citing sex discrimination, and won.

I'll Be At Romance Erotica Connection Tomorrow

I'll be there in the morning and afternoon, posting excerpts and other fun stuff. Stop by and say "hi"!!

Italian Passion Spell

I just restocked some of my Voudou supplies. A close male friend of mine is delighted that I practice a few very good Voudou spells to get what I want in life. He's heard of Wiccans, but Voudou is different. I like the goddesses Oshun (of rivers, lakes, and streams) and Yemaya (of seas and oceans) because I live so close to the Atlantic ocean. I bought candles depicting Yemaya, some Good Luck Lottery bath and floor wash (I swear you can't make this shit up), and a discounted very tall and red love/passion candle. It's in the shape of a man and a woman embracing.

I have plans for that candle.

So, when I was in a Valentine's Day chat for Midnight Fantasies, I thought of that delicious candle when I posted an Italian Passion Spell that called for candle wax molded in the shape of either a dick or a pussy, and then it is lit. That Passion Spell was so popular that I decided to copy it here. I plan to use that Voudou candle with patchouli oil and Fire Of Love oil very soon.

Here's the Hot, Screeching Italian Passion Spell. Don't try this if you want quiet sex. This spell makes your lover hot, bothered, and wanting sexual release. Yah hoo!!!!

Italian Passion Spell

Use this spell to affect someone who desires
you, yet is shy in expressing their feelings.
Start by melting some red candle wax and
molding it in the shape of a phallus if you are
female, or a womb if you are male. Once the
wax has dried, sensuously anoint the candle
with olive oil, as if you were attending your
lover, thinking hard on the intimacy
you desire as you do.

Light the candle.

Now, write your lover's name three times
on a piece of whte paper, and burn it in the
flaming wick, praying that your lover will
come to you. While the paper burns,
recite your lover's name out loud three
times, then blow out the candle. Try
to wait patiently for your lover to respond
to your magic.

Help Out A Really Great Site

Go to my left sidebar, and click on the new graphic for Doingfine.org. It's new. I've been posting over there, and it's a great little site. They're looking for readers and posters. It's a site about the good things in life, and it's great to find something like that on the web, as opposed to the usual Emo bitching about life.

Head on over and give your support!

Excerpt - The Party Crasher

I'm getting some attention to my erotic fiction, so I thought I'd post an excerpt to one of my erotic short stories. This excerpt is from "The Party Crasher", which was published in three parts by Scarlet Magazine in 2007. I expect to have more short stories in Scarlet this year, but at the moment I'm concentrating on subbing to other publications. This story is paranormal erotic comedic romance. Olivia is having a party, and one of her guests invited a medium to come along and hold a seance. Olivia doesn't believe for a second that Madame Persephone will contact anyone, but she figures the seance could be good, cheesy fun. What she doesn't expect is that the medium does contact someone, and he has his eye on luscious Olivia.

So, enjoy the excerpt!

EXCERPT - THE PARTY CRASHER
Three-Part Serial
Appeared in Scarlet Magazine in 2007
Genre: Paranormal Comedic Romance
Type: F/M
Heat Rating: Screeching Hot

A ripple flowed up her spine. She was a little excited about this silliness after all. While she didn't believe for a second that Madame Persephone would contact any spirits, deep down she had hoped she would.

"I call to you, oh restless spirits that may occupy this house. Speak to us," Madame Persephone said. She trembled, and lowered her head to her chest. She moaned. It was quite a good show. The woman knew her stuff.

"Meeeeeeeeoooowwwww!!!!!" Madame Persephone's eyes bugged open.

"Oh, now, Mr. Fuzzyboy, you behave yourself." She looked at Olivia. "My apologies. That was my spirit guide, Mr. Fuzzyboy, making an ass of himself. He likes to show up at my séances just to get noisy. He demands a lot of attention, and wants to talk through me. He probably wants a treat."

Olivia realized that Mr. Fuzzyboy sounded a lot like Fred, who was just as demanding and wanted treats for his performances as well.

Madame Persephone closed her eyes, and continued speaking. "Mr. Fuzzyboy, now is not the time. We can play later." She giggled. "Yes, I'll get your catnip toy when I get home."

She rocked back and forth in her chair, and hummed in a low voice. Glenda, one of Olivia's coworkers, giggled. Olivia heard someone kick Glenda under the table.

Madame Persephone bolted upright in her chair, and stared at Olivia.

"My dear, there is someone here who wants to speak to you."

Olivia stared back. "Me? Who?"

"It's a man – definitely a man, but he won't tell me his name. He's asking… what, sir?" She jerked in her seat as if offended. "I most certainly will not ask her that, sir, not in mixed company."

What on earth could this be about, Olivia wondered.

"How rude! Seriously, sir, do you take me for a fool?"

"What does he want to ask me?" Olivia asked.

"I can't repeat what he said. It's… crude."

"This sounds like fun," Jeremy said. Olivia pinched his hand.

"Say it anyway. I'm curious." Olivia insisted.

Madame Persephone squirmed in her seat.

"He wants to know if he can stick his finger in your bellybutton and tickle you."

Everyone laughed.

Olivia could do nothing but sit there with her mouth hanging open.

A flush rose from her chest and warmed her face. She thanked God that in the candlelight, no one could see her blushing.

"You are ticklish in your belly button, Olivia."

"Shut up, Fred." Olivia said. To Madame Persephone, she said, "Please tell him I said ‘no.'"

"That's what I thought you'd say." Madame Persephone was silent for a few seconds.

"Sir, if she won't let you stick your finger in her belly button, I seriously doubt she would let you do that."

I don't want to know, thought Olivia.

Her heart jumped in her chest. She glanced at Jeremy, who fought off laughter by biting his lower lip. Olivia felt mortified.

Who the heck is that woman talking to?

She suspected to whom Madame Persephone was talking. Her skin perked up in gooseflesh. The air around her felt cold. She felt as if someone – a very annoying and playful someone – stood directly behind her.

She refused to turn her head, afraid of seeing a man she knew had been dead and buried for six years.

She felt a gust of wind by her ear, like the faintest breath. Strong fingers massaged her scalp. She jumped at the familiar touch. She looked around the room. No one else saw him, or if they did, they gave no indication of seeing him. When she smelled the smoke from a clove cigarette that she knew no one at the table or in the room was smoking, her entire body tightened like a spring, knowing who stood behind her, tempting her and teasing her with his presence.

She felt a hot, moist kiss at the nape of her neck.

"Stop that…" Olivia said.

"Stop what?" Jeremy said.

"Nothing… never mind…" Olivia said.

"Whatever…" Jeremy said.

She felt the ghost of a finger draw a line from in front of her ear down the left side of her neck. She swallowed, hard. She refused to move. She refused to break the circle. More than anything, she refused to turn her head to see the man she knew stood behind her, tempting her with his every touch.

"He's quite taken with you, my dear," Madame Persephone said.

"He's describing all sorts of… things he wants to do to you."

"Like what?" Olivia's mouth felt as if it were filled with cotton, it was so dry. Phantom hands massaged the tight muscles on her shoulders, and then moved down the front of her blouse. She froze in place, knowing where those hands were going.

"I can't…" Madame Persephone said.

"My curiosity is killing me. Please tell me." Olivia said. Her voice caught in her throat. Did anyone else notice how aroused she was becoming? She looked around the table. Everyone stared at her, but no one was the wiser. Madame Persephone definitely called someone from The Great Beyond, and no one in the room had a clue.

"Well… he says he wants to drive you crazy by licking your earlobes. He wants to lick you somewhere else, too, but I'm too polite to say where."

"Is this a spirit or an obscene phone call?" Jeremy laughed.

Olivia pinched his hand again.

People all over the room snickered. As if on queue, she felt a warm mouth suck on her earlobe. Gerald used to lick her earlobes. He licked her in lots of places on her body, including some places she had no idea were so sensitive to the touch. She tried to swallow but her mouth felt parched. The strong hands found her breasts, and massaged them, one after the other. Olivia bit her tongue to suppress a moan. Damn, he never forgot what to do with his hands to drive her crazy. He took her hard nipples between his thumbs and forefingers and gave them a pinch.

"Oh, God…" Olivia moaned.

"What?" Jeremy asked.

"Nothing…" Olivia's response was breathless.

"He also wants to … to use his words… "drive you to the edge and leave you lying there, begging for more."

That was definitely Gerald's style. He drove her crazy when he was alive. Now he appeared to be trying to drive her crazy from the grave. He certainly had succeeded in embarrassing her. And arousing her.

The phantom mouth nibbled on her ear. Olivia froze, waiting for the next move.

She felt one hand leave her right breast, and travel down her stomach to her pants. She knew where those fingers were going. In a room full of people, yet! She knew he had a penchant for exhibitionism, but she thought he would have tempered himself after death. Not a chance, obviously.

Strong hands massaged her crotch through her pants. She spread her legs apart to make room for his fingers. She leaned back, and enjoyed herself. Those fingers found her clit in no time, and pressed against it in tiny, hard circles.

Olivia eased her breath in and out of her mouth, hoping that no one at the table would see that she was sexually aroused.

"Olivia, are you alright?" Fred asked. "You're sweating."

You're damned right I'm sweating. I’m getting masturbated by a ghost, Olivia though.

"I'm fine, Fred. Just a little hot. Did he say anything else, Madame Persephone? What else would he like to do to me?"

"He says he would like to … oh, dear, I can't repeat that, sir!"

Madame Persephone squirmed in her seat. All eyes were on her, which relieved Olivia since that meant no one was watching as she approached an intense orgasm. Those fingers pressed and massaged her clit until she left of puddle on the chair. She tried to remain as still and as quiet as possible, which was next to impossible. She spread her legs farther apart, and held her breath as those talented fingers did their work.

"Ooooohhh…" Olivia moaned.

"What?… Are you sure you're okay?" Jeremy asked. He was getting too curious.

"I couldn’t be better," Olivia said with a smile.

She didn't want to come yet, but if those fingers kept doing their magic, she'd have The Queen Of All Orgasms in front of a crowd waiting for a ghost. She decided that it was time to stop before she came all over her plush velvet armchair.

Doingfine.org

I added a graphic for the new web site "doingfine.org" on my left sidebar. Are you doing fine in your professional and personal life? Want to talk about how you got there? Want to be a positive influence on others? Then check out "doingfine.org". It looks like a great web site to me.

The Perfect Sex Toy For P. Z. Myers

P. Z., this post shows that I'm thinking of you on Valentine's Day.

I found the perfect sex toy for P. Z. Myers - The Screaming Octopus. It's an adorable blue, silicone gel, waterproof vibrator shaped like an octopus. Perfect for those who love the many-legged critters.

So, does using one of these constitute tentacle sex?

Here's a glowing testimonial in favor of the adorable Screaming Octopus. Looks to me like Mrs. P. Z. would like this little guy.

Next, we brought the Screaming Octopus into play with Freddy. We were having an amorous evening, when Freddy brought out the Screaming Octopus to add some fun to our night of passion. As I was straddled across Freddy facing towards him, in one of our oversized comfy chair, I leaned back to let him place the mini octopus right along my clit, to add to my growing frenzy. As a vibrating tentacle barely touched my now swollen erogenous zone, I let out a gasp as my body trembled with exhilaration. Each time Freddy dangled the Screaming Octopus over my clitoris, letting the various arms tickle my clit, my body was building up to a crescendo. Finally, Freddy held me firmly on top of him while he put the main body of the vibe straight on me to make my body shudder as I hit that final note of ecstasy. The evening was a rousing success, since Freddy successfully got me to hit my pleasure zone while controlling the whole event.