The Countess

Perfect Christmas Gifts For Me

I'm finally going to cash in my $100.00 gift certificate from CyberNooky, a sex toys shop. I feel like a kid in a candy shop!! Here's what I chose for myself, and these are Christmas gifts I am giving myself.

Nipple rings - I'll wear them to Arisia in January. These will be fun. I've never owned nipple rings before.

A G-spot vibe - I've been wanting one of these for the longest time. I found a good one.

A clitoral/G-spot hands-free vibe - I wanted a butterfly remote, but that one alone was almost $90.00, and I wanted to buy a few fun things for myself. Since this one also has a G-spot attachment, I can get two orgasms for the price of one.

Those are the sex toys I'm buying myself for Christmas. I already bought gifts for my family and friends. I might have to mail them after Christmas because I'm still waiting for some of them to arrive in the mail. Assuming we get a tree - we've been snowed in and we don't have a car - I'll put my husband's gifts under the tree.

Other things I want for myself are six bookcases, the Weeping and Screaming angels from "Doctor Who" (I'll order them in January), the last Harry Potter book, venison and pheasant breasts for dinner, and a subscription to play Uru online. I can get all of this after the holidays. I'm in no rush.

So, what do you want for Christmas, or are you waiting for the after holiday sales like me?

Hot Screeching Monkey Sex

And I mean literally. Scientists have learned that female macaque monkeys shout before, during, and after sex because, if they don't, the males they fuck rarely ejaculate. Shouting also lead to more vigorous sex. Females shout when they are most fertile, a signal to the males that it's a good time for some hot monkey love.

What does this mean for humans? Probably nothing, but it makes me think that a little shouting in the sack could be more fun than we let on.

Tomorrow Is World Orgasm Day!

Hey, I'm for anything that promotes world peace, especially during the holiday season. I heard about World Orgasm Day last year, and I got a major kick out of it. The gist of it is that you fuck a partner or you masturbate, and come to orgasm at 6:08 GMT. That would be 1:08 AM EST, where I live (I think). I will likely be asleep at that ungodly hour, but I do come in my sleep, so I wouldn't be surprised if I was able to participate anyway.

Why does this holiday exist? According to the web site, the reason is "to effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible instantaneous surge of human biological, mental and spiritual energy."

Hey, any good energy is fine in my book. Let's hear it for World Orgasm Day!!

Doing The Happy Dance!!

I'm so excited! Dark Eden Press requested the complete manuscript for two short stories I had submitted for the erotic "Temptations" line. I hope both stories are accepted. I expect to hear the good news that both stories are accepted sometime around February.

One story is about a man and his hot older woman. The other story is about a quiet stick-in-the-mud who meets two nearly identical women who give her a new sexy zest for life.

I'm doing the Happy Dance!!! Boo-yah!!

Christmas Is Coming, And I'm Going To Be Busy

There are only nine days left before Christmas, so I won't be posting much here. I've been busy dealing with life and getting ready for the holidays, which is why I have not updated my blog in over a week. Plus, I really didn't have much to say.

For some reason, my article for last week's Nuts4chic did not come out. I hope it comes out tomorrow. If it does, I'll post the link here.

I submitted a story about a cougar and her young male prey to Dark Eden. I hope DE accepts it. That would be great! I'm going to start another cougar story for Ellora's Cave. EC is hard to get into, but worth the effort. If EC rejects my story, I'm sure I could sell it elsewhere.

I finally feel like writing again! I couldn't work on my "psychic powers" story because I had no idea what to do with it. Yesterday, the perfect solution came to me, and I started to write like mad. I'll take today off, since I'm snowed in and I feel lazy. Tomorrow, I'll work more on that story. I have until mid-January to finish it so I'm not in a rush.

I have almost finished Christmas shopping. I hope to get the gifts in the mail before the week is out.

I don't expect to do much posting until January, because of the holidays. If something really strikes my fancy, or if I have chat update, I'll post them here.

Come Meet Me At Author's Chats!

Come and meet met at the following loop chats. I'll be at all of them, talking about my upcoming stories and stories that are published with Scarlet Magazine. I'll also talk about my articles (including upcoming articles) at nuts4chic and Vir Magazine.

December 18: All Day. Novelspotters.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Novelspotters/

December 19: All Day. Talking Two Lips.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TalkingTwoLips/

December 22: All Day. Love's Romance Cafe.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveRomancesCafe/

I'll be at all three of these loop chats. Go join the Yahoo! groups and meet me!

The Gift For The Man With Everything: Spray-On Condoms!

This week at nuts4chic I talk about spray-on condoms. They are from Germany, and yes, they are for real. Here's a quote from my article:

The inventor wanted to help blokes smaller and larger than the average penis size of just over five inches. He described his spray-on condom machine as being something like a car wash. The bloke puts his presumably erect penis in a chamber and presses a button. His penis is then covered by jets of liquid latex. It dries in about twenty-five seconds. To remove it, he just rolls it off and tosses it the way he would a regular condom.

Head on over and read about some other condoms made just for the holiday season!

Yowza!! A Christmas Contest!!!

Update December 4, 2007: The contest is now closed. I will announce winners shortly.

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Do you like homemade goat's milk scented soaps? I make my own, with an ocean mold in the shape of a lighthouse. The Atlantic ocean plays a central part in many of my stories.

Would you like to win two of those soaps? Here's how to win:

Look here at my blog, read the entries on the first page, and tell me what was traditionally hung above the bed of newlyweds on the first marital night? The plant was believed to act as a powerful erotic stimulant. Leave your answer in comments, and make sure to leave your e-mail address so that I may reach you if you are the winner.

For those who choose to visit my MySpace page (http://www.myspace.com/elizabeth_a_black), to win two soaps, first tell me the name of the classic television show whose theme plays on my page. Second, what are the names of the two Voudou goddesses I mention on my page? If you can answer both questions, send the answers to me via e-mail at trishcwilson@comcast.net

You will love my soaps. They make great gifts and they are perfect for your personal use. Since it is the holiday season, they will be blue, and scented frankincense and myrrh. If you have allergies, I will make the soaps colorless and fragrance-free.

To read more of my stories, subscribe to Scarlet Magazine:

http://www.scarletmagazine.co.uk/subscribe/

You'll get a free rabbit vibe, if you subscribe. To read my past stories, just mention Elizabeth Black, and say you'd like the back issues where my story appears. There is a fee for the back issues, but I don't know what that is.