December 06, 2010

Time For Some Man Candy!

Well, here I am, after Thanksgiving, still fighting the flu I've been fighting for a couple of week now. My head is stuffed up, my back aches, my nose is running like a spigot, and I'm coughing so much I sound like Sydney Greenstreet when I talk (yeah, my age is showing!). So I need a serious pick-me-up, and I know everyone loves pix of man candy, so today I'll give you a meal of flesh that will rival the turkey dinner you ate on Thanksgiving. I want to talk about television man candy and the men who influenced how I view my male characters in my books.

I'm not surprised the TV show "Hawaii Five-O" has become the big hit of the new season. In my conversations with the women who watch it, I suspect a big reason for its popularity is that it's chock full of gorgeous men. I know plenty of women, like myself, who are still upset over "Moonlight" being cancelled. I watched "Three Rivers", too, and I figured "Hawaii Five-O" would mean three times the charm for Alex O'Loughlin. And it worked. I can bask in the glory that is Alex O'Loughlin, Scott Caan, and Daniel Dae Kim every Monday night from now on. And I do. Has anyone else noticed the sexual chemistry between McGarrett and Dano? Those two bicker and banter like an old married couple. And Dano gets so jealous! My God, he has his eye on McGarrett and won't let him out of his sight!

When it comes to my fiction, I usually have a certain actor in mind for my characters. Here are a few examples to give you an idea where my thoughts head when I create the men in my stories.

An Unexpected Guest: The main love interest in this book is Jason, and it's rather hard to tell exactly where he's coming from. I imagined him as tall and slender, muscular without being macho, and his sense of humor is off-putting in a good way. He's my Beta-Male. When I created him, I imagined the way Jason Isaacs (one of my favorite actors) looked in the Harry Potter movies. My Jason certainly doesn't act like Lucius Malfoy, but he has the long blond hair and boyish features. I must admit that it was hard to find a picture of Malfoy where he wasn't scowling. Jason doesn't scowl.

Feral Heat: There are two delicious men in this one; bisexual werewolves named Grant and Sam. Grant is the serious and rather gloomy one. Sam is the more stable of the two. When it came to Grant, I pictured Hugh Jackman, particularly as Wolverine (no surprise there) and in "Australia". As for Sam, I pictured Orlando Bloom as Legolas Greenleaf in the "Lord Of The Rings" movies. Yup, it's that long blond hair/boyish features thing again. I see a trend.

I have two men in mind for my soon-to-be-released book "Indiscretions: Vol. 2 - The Mile High Club and Room Service". This book will be released in 2011, and it's a continuation of my "Indiscretions" series, beginning with Indiscretions: Vol 1 - Caught and Wild Child, which is a cougar series involving Kevin and his hot next door neighbor, Betsy. In Vol. 2, my heroine Caryn hooks up with Jeremy (my button-downed businessman) on a airplane flight in the first story, and later enjoys both Jeremy and her old love Takeshi in her hotel room in the second story. Here are the two men who influenced my look for both men in the book; Jeremy's inspiration on the top and Takeshi's on the bottom.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan (You know him as Sam and Dean's dad on "Supernatural".)

Sean Ching (He's just plain hot. )

I can't let the ladies feel left out so here are the two actresses who inspired my look for Lina and Charlotte in my f/f/f sexy adventure, Neighbors, which is appears in the "Vamps" lesbian anthology. Both women are dark, with long dark hair, muscular from years of scenic painting on movie and stage sets, and very exotic. I had Angelina Jolie in mind for Charlotte and Charlotte Lewis in mind for Lina. These two women are polar opposites who compliment each other beautifully, with Charlotte being the adventurous and chattering one, and Lina being the quiet but don't-be-fooled one.

Charlotte Lewis

Angelina Jolie (Like you don't know what she looks like.)

So now you know what kinds of men (and women) I had in mind for the characters in my stories. I do tend to like a certain "type", I suppose. Quiet but intense ... or light and cheeky. And I'm a sucker for slight but tall men with long blond hair and boyish features. So what kinds of men do you like in your reading and writing? Do you have a particular type that turns you on more than others?

Posted on December 6, 2010 at 10:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 26, 2010

Mothering Tips I Learned From Nicolas Cage

Here I am, taking another break from writing about vibrators. When I was a new mom, I had two baby raising manuals - the movie "Raising Arizona" and every "Calvin and Hobbes" comic I could get my hands on. I didn't rely on Dr. Spock, those "Your Baby's First 12 Months" books, Dr. Phil, or parenting magazines. Needless to say I raised a very unusual kid. My son is now college aged and he just moved in with us so life has been interesting to say the least.

I realized that Nicolas Cage has played a big part in influencing my views on raising children, starting with his starring role in "Raising Arizona". Here are lessons I've learned from Nicolas Cage regarding child-rearing:

Raising Arizona

1. Don't leave the car seat on top of the car and then drive away.

2. Listen to your child's mother when she tells you what your child needs.

3. Never take on more children than you can handle.

Kick Ass

1. If you child is precocious, encourage out-of-the-box interests and behavior.

2. Always dress cool.

3. Don't talk down to your child. Treat your child like a person and not a toy.

4. Teach your child to be a skeptic and to question authority.

5. Teach your child about justice.

National Treasure

This movie is more about Nick Cage's relationship with his dad as played by Jon Voight.

1. Always support your child's wildest dreams, no matter how out-there they may be.

2. There's always another clue but it's worth following.

3. When you can, teach, such as showing your child the proper way to read invisible ink. Remember to use heat.

4. Encourage your child to think for him or herself.

So there you have it. I do have unusual parenting ideas and I think I did a fine job with my son. I am far from a helicopter parent, too. That's just not in my nature. So Nick Cage in all his quirkiness influenced my parenting style. And my son turned out fine.

Posted on August 26, 2010 at 08:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 15, 2010

"Destiny" by Zero 7

Oh, I love this song! I heard it while watching "Blue Crush", one of my favorite summer movies. I wonder if she used sex toys while watching porn in her lonely hotel room?

Here are the lyrics because she's a bit hard to understand.


I lie awake
I've gone to ground
I'm watching porn
In my hotel dressing gown
Now I dream of you
But I still believe
There's only enough for one in this
Lonely hotel suite

The journey's long
And it feels so bad
I'm thinking back to the last day we had.
Old moon fades into the new
Soon I know I'll be back with you
I'm nearly with you
I'm nearly with you

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart we are each other's destiny

On a clear day
I'll fly home to you
I'm bending time getting back to you
Old moon fades into the new
Soon I know I'll be back with you
I'm nearly with you
I'm nearly with you

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart we are each other's destiny

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart we are each other's destiny

I'll fly, I'll fly home
I'll fly home and I'll fly home

Posted on August 15, 2010 at 10:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 12, 2010

Bah! Older Women Are Still Sexy!

Yeah, I've seen the "Awful Celebrity Plastic Surgery" web sites. Demi Moore for some reason had $500,000 worth of plastic surgery done to make her more marketable in films and she didn't even need the work. I'm tired of seeing photos of Jennifer Love Hewitt at the beach with captions saying she's fat when she's not. And the same comparing Britney Spears pre- and post-baby, saying she's fat or old or whatever. I suspect the complaints are coming from guys who are miffed that their dildo fantasies about these women when they were nubile little sex kittens haven't panned out. And these guys aren't so great looking themselves, as if they have reason to judge.

By the way, male actors don't age well, either. Granted, I don't agree with all of these pictures. I think this site simply has a rotten looking picture of Johnny Depp who is still very fetching. And Nick Cage and Sean Penn have aged very well. It's the ones with plastic surgery that really look inhuman like Burt Reynolds and Mickey Roarke. Then there's Nick Nolte, who's in a category all his own. Remember his mug shot? Yikes!

Here are photos that show older women are definitely beautiful and sexy.

Tia Carrere

Raquel Welch

Jaclyn Smith

Hammer Girl Veronica Carlson

Posted on August 12, 2010 at 11:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 11, 2010

My Kind Of Porn Parody: The Sex Files 2

I am a huge fan of "The X Files" and when I learned of this porn parody called "The Sex Files 2" I had to check it out. Go to the link and watch the trailer. It has it all! The Lone Gunmen are even in it! I'd know Langley's long hair anywhere. Hippy.

I'd never heard of this movie. My husband found it. Since it's "The Sex Files 2" that means there's a "The Sex Files 1". I found both and requested them for review. Keep your fingers crossed that I get them. I'll definitely enjoy reviewing both, being a huge X-Phile.

A couple of days ago I won on eBay a rare 1996 "X Files" coffee mug. I owned this mug twice and my husband broke it both times. This time, he's not allowed anywhere near it! I'll hand-wash it to keep it safe. I love my coffee mug collection: two "Tomb Raider" mugs, a "Myst" mug, and now an "X Files" mug. All I need now are the "Myst", "Riven", and "Uru" coffee mugs to complete my set.

I'll definitely get out my vibrators while I watch this thing. I hope I can keep from laughing. I love porn parodies and tackling my favorite TV show of all time is worth watching.

The Truth Is Out There!

Posted on August 11, 2010 at 06:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 08, 2010

BP Spills Coffee

I'm taking a break from writing about vibrators to show everyone this silly but rather frightening film called "BP Spills Coffee". My son's visiting for the summer while on break from college and he finds shiat like this all the time. It's hilarious but it would be funnier if it weren't so true. Enjoy!

Posted on July 8, 2010 at 01:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 04, 2010

Here's To Swimmin' With Bow-Legged Women

Holiday Bonus: Jaws, Done In 30 Seconds, By Bunnies. Enjoy!!


No Fourth Of July in Massachusetts would be complete without a viewing of "Jaws". We watch it every July 4th. "Jaws" was filmed in Martha's Vineyard, which is past the South Shore. We live on the North Shore. Watching "Jaws" on July 4th is practically required by law out here.

We have lots planned for this weekend. I'm going to try out some new and exciting sex toys! Woo hoo!! I skipped the beach today because I really needed to sleep. When I go to the beach I get up at 5:30 am and do the sand 'n surf thing until about 9 or 10 am. Lately by the time I get home I'm exhausted. Must be the sun and fresh air. Tomorrow, back to the beach!

We are going to have rib roast and corn on the cob in a couple of hours. Tonight, we go to the town's July 4th parade, and then hang out at the beach at night for the annual July 4th bonfire. "Jaws" opens with a bonfire on the beach, which seems to be a tradition up here. We always plan to make it to the bonfire every year but we are old folks who fall asleep before the sun goes down. Instead, we watch fireworks from bed. Now that's cool!

Best of all is this is the first Fourth Of July we had with my son, who is on summer vacation. He's in college now. He'll probably go out with his friends tonight.

Everyone already knows the main mechanical shark was nicknamed "Bruce." Here are more fun facts about "Jaws":

* The original scene with Alex Kintner's death was so scary that it had to be cut due to the fact that it might scare people to death and they would not be able to give JAWS a PG rating but an R instead. The scene called for a doll of Alex to be floating among the bathers, then the shark would jump out of the water.

* When the shark was built, it was never water tested therefore when it was put in the water at Martha's Vineyard, it sunk straight to the ocean floor. It took a team of divers to retrieve it from the floor.

* Robert Shaw could not stand Richard Dreyfuss and they argued all the time, which resulted in some good tension between Hooper and Quint.

* Robert Shaw was also in trouble from the IRS and had to flee the country once his scenes were completed.

* A midget in a miniature cage and a real shark were used to get some shots correct. (The midget was used to make the shark look bigger.)

* Apparently, technicians lost control of one of the mechanical sharks, and it was lost at sea.

* Author Peter Benchley was thrown off the set after objecting to the climax.

* Susan Backlinie (Chrissie) is actually a stunt woman, not an actress, and her underwater scenes in the JAWS opener were actually filmed during the day while she was in the buff.

* There were two 300lb weights attached to Susan Backlinie which were being tugged by two sets of crewmen on shore. One set would pull right, and the other set would pull left. It took three days to film that sequence. (Easter Egg Page note: Backlinie was hurt during filming of this sequence. Lip readers complained at this scene because she swears quite profusely, but her cursing had been dubbed out.)

* If you pay close attention to one of the windows in the building behind Brody after he leaves the hardware store, you will notice a bystander sticking her head up and taking pictures of Roy Scheider as he is doing his lines.

Easter Eggs (hidden inside jokes within films like author/director appearances):

* Steven Spielberg was the voice on Quint's marine radio when Mrs. Brody tries to contact her husband on the Orca.

* Brody's dog in the movie was actually Spielberg's real dog.

* The reporter going on and on about Amity and the shark is "Jaws" writer Peter Benchley.

Have a pleasant holiday weekend, everyone. And enjoy the water. It's just fine. evil_smiley.gif

Posted on July 4, 2010 at 10:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 25, 2010

Joseph LoDuca - The Theme To "The Messengers"

I saw the horror movie "The Messengers" again not long ago and I loved this theme song so much I had to find it on Youtube. So here it is. I've been playing it over and over while working on my new steampunk, time travel, alternate universe short story "A Quandry In Time". It's set in Victorian London and there are some very familiar faces in it from literature and history. I even touch on the history of vibrators in this story. So while I'm working on it I'm enjoying this haunting song. Take a listen:

Here's the same theme; different cover.

Posted on June 25, 2010 at 07:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 05, 2010

Adult Sex Toys Classic Porn Review - Debbie Does Dallas

I first saw Debbie Does Dallas when I was in college in the 1980s, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. At first I thought the end of the movie would be star Bambi Woods doing the entire Dallas Cowboys football team but alas that was not to be. I knew she couldn't possibly fuck every man in Dallas, although she might try. The movie wasn't what I expected but I enjoyed it very much. It was funny and the women had enough boobage to keep me occupied. I love boobage.

So here I am over twenty years later watching Debbie Does Dallas and enjoying it just as much as I did when I was in college. Here's a blurb from the Internet Movie Data Base about the movie:

This all-time best-seller among adult movies is about Debbie (Bambi Woods) whose talents have earned her a coveted place as a professional football cheerleader for the Dallas Cowboys. However Debbie and her friends on the cheerleading squad are faced with a problem. She doesn't have any money to make it to Dallas. She and her girl friends try to figure out ways to make a little extra cash... on the side! One of them works in a library, another in a candle shop, and Debbie herself works in a clothing store for Mr. Greenfield (R. Bolla). While doing their odd jobs they realize that they can make more money by doing sexual favours for their bosses. Debbie makes enough money when "Mr. Greenfield scores a field goal and Debbie makes a touchdown".

The highlights were of Debbie teasing Mr. Greenfield when he chased her around his store begging for a feel or a quick look. It was so silly it was almost endearing - and very sexy. Her friends had trouble making enough money on their minimum wage jobs to send her to Dallas but Debbie figured it out very fast - strip for cash. She earned fifty bucks for showing Mr. Greenfield her tits, and he would have done more if she didn't warn him she'd tell her mother! Finally, at the end, when she allows Mr. Greenfield to fuck her, she makes enough money to go to Dallas.

Here is some fun trivia about the movie, courtesy of the Internet Movie Data Base:

On 14 September 2000, the British Board of Film Classification authorized for the first time the uncut release of this film, as part of a policy change to censor adult films less and children's films more.

According to the documentary "Debbie Does Dallas Uncovered", this film is one of the top-five highest grossing pornography titles in history.

The Dallas Cowboys filed suit against this film for using its cheerleader uniform in the ads and in the film without permission. The sequels used a different uniform.

Debbie Does Dallas shows how much porn has changed in thirty years. All of the women have different bodies and there is nary a silicone boob in the entire movie. Most are on the small side figure-wise and boob size and all have thatches of pubic hair you don't see in porn today because all women in porn these days are expected to be bald down there. I prefer to see the natural way women are built because pubic hair is sexy and because it holds scents that smell good. Pubic hair is a depository for female pheromones that turn on both men and women. These days with plastic women shaved for a male audience, you don't get that earthy look that existed in the classic porn movies.

Bambi Woods really is the only reason to see this movie, since she's so sweet and sexy. Her interactions with Mr. Greenfield provide lots of sexy comic relief. When she appears at the end dressed in her Dallas Cowboy's cheerleader outfit (for which the movie got sued) as Mr. Greenfield seduces her once again she has all the charm of a Four-H beauty queen. Debbie Does Dallas is crude by today's slick porn standards but it's a joy to watch.

If you want tongue-in-cheek (or tongue anywhere else for that matter), funny, sexy and silly, this movie has all that in spades. Bambi Woods looked less busty than I imagined when I first saw the movie but that didn't bother me any. Debbie Does Dallas is good, silly, sexy fun.

This sex toy review sponsored by Adult Sex Toys: over 8,000 sex toys and adult toys to choose from.

Posted on June 5, 2010 at 03:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 21, 2010

I Bet Nick Cage Won't Eat A Preying Mantis

So actor/rabblerouser Nicholas Cage will only eat animals that have, in his opinion, "dignified" sex. He won't eat pork because he doesn't like the way pigs do The Nasty. Instead, he munches on chicken and fish. I don't know whether he's serious or if he's pulling reporter's legs but I thought it would be fun to write about animals sex lives anyway.

I can't speak for chickens, but ever see how fish get it on? The female lays her eggs and then the male shoots his sperm into the water, fertilizing the eggs. So when it's spawning season water is chock full of clouds of sperm. I suppose that could be considered dignified.

I bet Nick Cage won't eat a preying mantis. Females eat males after they copulate but only if they are hungry. We had preying mantids in our leafy canopy at our old house in Maryland. I remember the female and the smaller male. One day, I noticed that the male was missing his head! Holy shit, they must have copulated and she ate him! It was the creepiest thing to see since the male wasn't dead yet. It wandered around the canopy missing its head. Took the sucker five days to die. I hope I never see a preying mantis ever again.

I bet Nick Cage won't eat dog, considering that there is now a sex toy for dogs called Hotdoll. The picture below doesn't look particularly dignified to me.

Here are some strange animal sex habits. I doubt any of these critters will end up on Nick Cage's dinner plate.

Honey bees: The male's genitals pop off and get caught inside the Queen when mating. The snapped off penis acts as a plug, preventing other males from copulating with Her Highness. I guess this means Nick Cage won't put honey in his tea, unless he finds losing the Crown Jewels to be dignified.

Bonobos: Bonobos use sex for EVERYTHING! They "use sex as greetings, a mean of solving disputes, making up for fights, and as a favors in exchange for food. They tongue kiss, engage in oral sex, mutual masturbations, have face-to-face genital sex and even have a strange "penis fencing" ritual!"

Red-Sided Garter Snake: One female emerges from hibernation. She releases a pheromone that drives male red-sided garter snakes into an erotic frenzy. Then... ORGY!!! Bonus points - male red-sided garter snakes have two penises. I hear snake tastes like chicken so maybe eating snake isn't much of a stretch for Nick Cage.

Dolphins: Male dolphins have retractable penises. And they're prehensile. They even swivel! I hope Nick Cage eats dolphin-safe tuna.

Anyway, there are many more bizarre examples of animal sex at that link so head on over and get an education. Some of these animals do things that sound like something you see in a science fiction movie.

Posted on May 21, 2010 at 10:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack