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December 02, 2010

Do As I Demand Or The Kids Die!

This post is a riff of two earlier posts I wrote, Do As We Demand Or The Bitch Dies - Part 1 and Do As We Demand Or The Bitch Dies - Part 2. Over the past couple of years there has been a rash of dads murdering their exes and children (as reported on Dastardly Dads).

The latest case making the news is giving feelings of doom for three missing children that I and other people I've talked to suspect with a sinking feeling are already dead. We now have the case of John Skelton a dad who supposedly sent his three young sons off with a woman (who likely doesn't exist) and then attempted suicide. Mom, Tanya Skelton, is obviously beside herself since her sons have been missing since Thanksgiving. Skelton had court-ordered visitation, something that shouldn't be allowed in cases with a history like this one. This isn't the first time John Skelton ran off with his boys. The day Tanya Skelton filed for divorce, John Skelton took two of the boys and spirited them to Florida. After this stunt, Tanya Skelton was awarded custody but later she and Skelton agreed to visitation with a judge's encouragement.

This story is bad enough, but the rats are coming out of the woodwork latching onto this case to promote their propaganda and to advertise their "services". More below the fold.

In 2009, we had fathers' rights advocate Jeffrey Leving pontificating about how families need supervised visitation centers to help both parents have continuing access to their children. The father's rights group The Children's Rights Council also got in on the gravy train. Lo and behold - CRC has visitation centers! Can you hear the money? The articles below are bald ploys to attract more attention - and more clients and money - for CRC's visitation centers and for Jeffery Leving. Oh, yeah, visitation centers work well. Pay the father's rights group fees for supervised visitation for fifteen years. Teenagers especially love to be in a room with toys for three hours.

Here's the piggyback-onto-a-tragedy article by an Ohio chapter of the father's rights group The Children's Rights Council. CRC is not a child welfare group. It is a male supremacy group that has made lots of money over the years from supervised visitation centers. No link. Not giving this garbage traffic.

So what's the implication here? To keep children "safe", or to give abusive dads their access regardless of how little that benefits the children? Child welfare is given lip service in this article. It's all about father supremacy and getting more clients and money for CRC visitation centers.

And national leader? Of a tiny chapter in Ohio? Oh, please...

Amid Morenci search, expert advises on custody disputes

Posted: Dec 01, 2010 4:06 AM EST
Updated: Dec 01, 2010 4:10 AM EST

By Jonathan Walsh
Posted by Lisa Strawbridge

TOLEDO, OH (WTOL) - The Children's Rights Council provides a safe place for
parental visitation when custody becomes an issue during or after divorce.

Margaret Wuwert is the national leader for the chapter in northwest Ohio. She
says she's very saddened about the case involving John Skelton and his three

"We want to make sure the kids are safe and that they do get to see both
parents," Wuwert said of her organization.

The purpose of the council is to provide divorced parents or single parents with
a safe way to have visits with children.

A room is provided for the custodial parent to drop off their children. Then 15
minutes later, the other parent comes in to spend time with the kids. She says
there are no confrontations among the parents, and the kids just play and enjoy
their time with mom or dad.

She says 90 or 95 percent of parents using the program think it's a good thing.

She adds there are so many emotions involved in a divorce. Then economic stress
and even the arrival of the holidays can add to those emotions. Wuwert suggests
parents always think of the kids first.

The Children's Rights Council of Northwest Ohio has 20 rooms available. It
serves 80 families a month with each session lasting three hours.

As sad and difficult as the Skelton story is to hear, Wuwert hopes it's at least
a wake-up call for adults who may be feeling some of the same emotions involved
with the Skelton case.

I won't give a link to this article below by Jeffery Leving because I don't want to give it traffic, but here it is in full. It's pretty heinous, piggybacking on a tragedy of children who have been murdered - at the hands of their father. He blames these deaths on alleged bias against fathers in divorce and custody cases, and does not hold these men responsible in any way for the murders they commit.

When Divorce Kills: How Gender Bias Pushes Some Men Over the Edge
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
By Jeffery M. Leving

Chicago, IL – (April 9, 2009) – In the past two weeks, the nation has been shocked by three cases of domestic violence ending in the deaths of innocent children. Two weeks ago, two Illinois boys and their father, Michael Connolly, were found dead in an apparent case of murder-suicide. Last week, James Harrison, a father in Washington, allegedly shot to death his five children before killing himself. On Monday, an Alabama man, Kevin Garner, allegedly killed his estranged wife, their daughter and two other relatives before committing suicide. A common factor in these three cases is divorce: a father in distress probably because he was losing all that he held dear.

I lament these terrible tragedies; as a parent myself, I can imagine the agony the death of a child must bring to a family. As a fathers’ rights attorney, I regret that these high-profile cases are reinforcing the malicious stereotype of the brutal father, a stereotype that sabotages the efforts of many good fathers who love their children.

The fact is that most fathers do not harm their children. Domestic violence is not gender specific, as some mothers have also committed similar unnatural acts. For example, I am currently representing a soldier, formerly deployed in Iraq, who is now struggling to rescue his daughter from the alleged abuse of her mother in Chicago.

Divorce is often regarded as one of the most stressful events in an adult’s life. However, it is especially painful for men in our society due to blatant gender bias in our system. Most divorced men lose custody of their children, and have to pay substantial and sometimes onerous child support. This bias is evident when examining the raw numbers of custody rulings from jurisdictions across the United States. Mothers win 85 percent of all such disputes. According to the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, divorced and separated men are two and a half times more likely to commit suicide than married men. By contrast, the incidence of suicide among divorced women is no greater than that for married women.

The notion that divorced or otherwise estranged fathers don’t want or need continuing involvement with their children is insensitive and false. Fathers suffer very real pain and an overpowering sense of loss when excluded from their children’s lives. In my book “Fathers’ Rights,” I warned of the agony suffered by fathers affected by the gender bias, pointing out that “fathers from all walks of life find separation from their children to be a torturous, devastating experience.”

While most divorced men are able to cope with the unfair treatment by our system, some individuals collapse under the pressure of their emotions, destroying their family and themselves. Sometimes all these fathers need is someone who understands; someone to share their problems with. This and more can be provided by the not-for-profit organization which I founded in Illinois, the Fatherhood Educational Institute (URL deleted - I won't give traffic to these guys), as well as the government agency that I chair, The Illinois Council for Responsible Fatherhood (URL deleted). Similar organizations are needed everywhere. Both organizations offer resources to educate fathers to deal with their emotions, and to assist them in times of crisis.

The stress of divorce is well-known. However, it is manageable and should not lead to killings. Instead of focusing on those three men who allegedly committed unforgivable crimes, we should look at our society and our attitudes towards the role of fathers after separation and divorce and correct these unhealthy stereotypes.

Leving's brand of giving access to even violent fathers because it's society and its horrid attitudes about fathers that causes these tragedies is nothing new. Want to see some comments from father's rights activists about dads murdering their children and exes? These are some pretty noxious comments that give you an idea of the real nature of the father's rights movement, and it's not concern with children's welfare. It's all about male supremacy. Well, here you go:

From my article, Do As We Demand Or The Bitch Dies - Part 1:

Some of you may have heard the story about a fathers' rights advocate Darren Mack, who had stabbed his wife to death and shot the judge who heard his case. The judge lived. This guy is now at large. Well, fathers' rights groups got wind of the story, and they are excusing this guy's behavior. They blame "the system" for what this guy has done.

This is nothing new for these guys. They already blame "the system", feminists, and ex-wives when dads commit suicide. What they usually keep quiet is that they also blame "the system" et al when dads murder their wives and children. Lowell Jaks of The Alliance for Non-Custodial Parent's Rights had gone as far as to blame "the system" for the D. C. sniper shootings. In the article Divorced Dads Snap Under Pressure, which is available at ANCPR's web site, Jaks said that "[s]ome guys kill themselves, some snap and go out and kill others. You can dismiss them as crackpots, you can say we need more protection for women, but it's not going to take away the problem." In another article, available at the web site for the fathers' rights group "A Kid's Right", Jaks said ""None of these guys are poster children. But when you cause this much pain to so many men, there are going to be repercussions. A certain percentage are going to crack."

Quotes from father's rights activists from the same article, referencing Darren Mack murdering his ex-wife and shooting the judge who heard his case. Mack got lots of sympathy from father's rights activists. No surprise there. Would you as a mom (or dad) want to give these guys access to your children? Hell, no!

Jim Deeny said,
on June 13th, 2006 at 1:49 pm

There’s only one wat to stop this nonsense! Stop paying!

mikevac said,
on June 13th, 2006 at 4:56 pm

The harder the courts pushes people the harder they will push back. This bastard judge lived - this time. Next time he will not be that lucky. And there will be a next time because he is a bigot. Eventually, he’ll push another person to the brink and they will kill him. Unfortunately, this is the only way a victim of this the family court can get justice - by killing the judge.

anothervoice said,
on June 13th, 2006 at 5:31 pm

This judge all like him get absolutely no sympathy from me. Here’s a solution: Have judges in family court (now there’s a contradiction in terms) only limited to five year terms and and for every complaint against them such as violating someone’s due process because it helps the custodial parent then they aren’t allowed to work for a year; hey, better yet, sned the jackass/bitch to jail for three months for each and every violation accrued to be run consequetively. Then maybe they won’t be so eagar to assholes.

buddyhyatt said,
on June 13th, 2006 at 7:00 pm

I do not condone this type of retaliation. However “you reap what you sow” and evidently this judge had it coming. I am in this very situation in Tennessee. I am paying $1005 per month to the child’s mother whom I was not married to, while she does not work but fishes and hunts 10 to 18 days per month. (Yes she’s a lesbian now.) All the while I have the child more than half the time??? I am being rail roaded as we speak. I will fight it tooth and nail until it is settled fairly. I will not however shoot the judge. God’s vengeance will be much worse than anything I could do.

Jeffrey Leving and his ilk don't care about child welfare, "equality", or giving dads a fair shake. They care only about making sure men, especially the mad dads of the father's rights movement, have the ability to lord it over the women who try to leave them. They use the children to get back at the women who have the audacity to leave them. Remember that a Florida Bar Journal article noted that abusive fathers are much more likely than nonabusive parents contest custody, not pay child support, and kidnap children. You can add killing exes and children to that list. Comments such as the above prove those facts.

Posted on December 2, 2010 at 12:41 PM | Permalink


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"I regret that these high-profile cases are reinforcing the malicious stereotype of the brutal father"

That is a stereotype? Since when?

"This bias is evident when examining the raw numbers of custody rulings from jurisdictions across the United States. Mothers win 85 percent of all such disputes"

What/which disputes and what/which raw numbers?

"According to the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, divorced and separated men are two and a half times more likely to commit suicide than married men. By contrast, the incidence of suicide among divorced women is no greater than that for married women."

What about suicide attempts? And is this necessarily a good comparison--men to women...because couldn't it be interpreted as marriage doesn't make a woman any happier than a divorced one??!!!

I seriously hope Leving's Father's Rights support group doesn't help men in the way that this group helps: http://tiny.cc/FACENJ

"However, it is manageable and should not lead to killings. Instead of focusing on those three men who allegedly committed unforgivable crimes,..."

Yes, instead of focus on all the killing that going on, let us ignore that and talk about father's rights.

Posted by: reader at Dec 2, 2010 2:43:55 PM

Nothing of what Jeffery Leving wrote excuses a dad murdering his children, but that's exactly what he's doing - making excuses. He's also being sleazy with the facts about mothers most often getting custody of the kids. He makes it sound like dads want custody but courts are turning them away in favor of giving custody to moms. The fact is that most dads don't want custody. They don't ask for it. They want mom to continue on doing the job she had been doing all along for the kids and they agree to mother sole custody. When they demand custody, they're getting either joint physical and legal custody or even sole custody more than half the time, even if such a custody award isn't appropriate or in the children's best interests.

Posted by: The Countess at Dec 2, 2010 3:22:50 PM

It is an absolute fact that MOTHERS on "antidepressants are 5 times more likely than anyone else to kill their children.
Wanna bet that the fathers who kill their children are more than likely on "antidepressants" ?
Read the stories... www.ssristories.com

Posted by: Tim Casey at Dec 2, 2010 11:15:14 PM

it is so like the patriarchal priests who raped and abused children, but the children were blamed for the crime of the men in dresses.

Denial. Excuses.

Patriarchal society refuses to accept the truth re violent behaviour of some men because then society would have to accept responsibility.

Posted by: Sara at Dec 3, 2010 5:36:15 PM