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November 12, 2009

To Come Or Not To Come...

I wrote an article about faking orgasms for Sex Is Magazine recently, and I'm working on another one about men who fake the big "O" for Alternet. Here's the link to a Nuts4chic article I wrote about faking it. That got me to thinking about my own orgasms, as in lately - the past couple of months - I've had some trouble coming. Normally, I can come at the drop of a hat; so I don't know why I've had such a hard time of it lately. Could it be a matter of age? Am I slowing down as I approach the big Five Oh?

For instance, this morning. I used one of my favorite vibrators, my Lelo Liv, and I got all hot and bothered like I expected I would. Since I am on the first day of my period, the vibe slid right in. I clamped down on it and the vibrations felt intensely good, but try as I might, I couldn't come to save my life. In my mind, I wanted an orgasm, but my body said "Nope, not today honey".

So, should I be troubled by my lack of fireworks? I get turned on, hot, and wet enough, but I don't explode into candy the way I used to. Maybe it's because I'm having my period, but I'm not totally convinced that's the cause. I often masturbate when I bleed because a rocking orgasm helps to alleviate my cramps, making it easier for me to sleep. Today, I took aspirin after a long bout of masturbating didn't result in anything that would relax those horrid cramps.

I'm not really all that concerned that I'm losing my sex drive. That's not what's going on. My sex drive is as through-the-roof as it's always been. I just don't come ten out of ten times the way I'm accustomed to coming. So, does that mean I'm ramping down to normal? Ha ha! I told my husband about my problems coming, and he doesn't have any answers, but he told me to not worry about it. Sometimes my body just isn't in the mood, and that's okay. I just wish I could have come this morning and gotten rid of those cramps. I'm charging up my Lelo Liv for some fun play tonight. I noticed that when I don't come in the morning, I do come at night, so it's not a total loss.

If you've ever had trouble coming, how did you deal with it? Did it worry you, especially if you've noticed a trend of the fireworks not going off? I'll just go with the flow, so to speak (pun intended) and take it easy for the next few days, since I'm having my period. An orgasm will only be icing on the cake at this point.

Posted on November 12, 2009 at 02:00 PM | Permalink


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Thanks for the post, I find cumming such a wonderful experience, I fail to see the need to fake it - that just cheapens me, and my partner. Faking it detracts from the real thing.

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