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February 03, 2009

Things That Turn Women Off

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Things That Turn Women Off
By Elizabeth Black

I'm on a mailing list with a bunch of erotic romance writers, and as usual, the topic turned to sex. When you spend every waking moment coming up with new and creative ways for a guy to stick his dick in a woman in yet another hot and steamy storyline, you're naturally going to be very opinionated about sex.

I had read an article online about sex turn offs, and I wanted some anecdotes from my friends.

Boy, did they deliver! The top turn-offs were poor hygiene and disinterest.

Jenny dated a guy who actually expected her to kiss him when he had a wad of chewing tobacco in his mouth. Chewing tobacco is an American cowboy thing. It's also a baseball thing. In case you don't know, guys who chew that stuff keep a wad of it either in their cheek or between their bottom teeth and lower lip. It mixes with saliva, and creates a very disgusting, brown juice. They are supposed to spit the juice into a spittoon or on the ground, hopefully, without having it land on the rug, clothing, food, cats, dogs, children, you name it.

Jenny said she asked the guy to dump the stuff, he did spit it out, but reluctantly. If I met a guy who wouldn't dump his chew before sticking his tongue in my mouth, he's be dumped faster than you can say trench mouth. Trying to kiss a guy who likes that stuff must be like licking an ashtray dipped in a swamp.

Disinterest was a big turn-off. The last straw for Casey was when the guy she dated moved the TV to the bedroom when she complained about him being too busy watching the boob tube rather than tending to her needs. Later, she found out he did this with all the women he dated.

My complaint would be when I'm trying to watch a good TV show or movie, and the guy I'm with wants to make out or fuck, although I'm not in the mood. It's very annoying to be at the good part of a funny movie, and I miss what's going on because I have to keep swatting the guy's hands away. I can imagine lots of fights starting that revolve around the TV or DVD player.

Casey's story reminded Stasia of a guy she dated who was too busy watching the World Series to properly fuck her. With every crack of the bat, he'd lose his hard-on. She got fed up and kicked him off of her and went home.

I'm sure guys have their complaints about women, but since my sex writer friends are female, we dished about guys. I knew a guy in college who was completely turned off watching his wife eat because she ate with her mouth open. It was like watching a farm animal eating slop. Both men and women do things that gross each other out, but I had the women's stories.

Posted on February 3, 2009 at 02:52 PM | Permalink

Comments

Disinterest was a big turn-off. The last straw for Casey was when the guy she dated moved the TV to the bedroom when she complained about him being too busy watching the boob tube rather than tending to her needs. Later, she found out he did this with all the women he dated.

My complaint would be when I'm trying to watch a good TV show or movie, and the guy I'm with wants to make out or fuck, although I'm not in the mood. It's very annoying to be at the good part of a funny movie, and I miss what's going on because I have to keep swatting the guy's hands away.

Please re-read these two paragraphs in isolation. Do you notice anything?

Posted by: Azkyroth at Feb 3, 2009 9:29:44 PM

Re: the two paragraphs --

I noticed that too, but presumably the author is not slapping those hands away and trying to watch TV in bed, after being told by her lover that he feels neglected. I like watching movies and I like singing karaoke, but I'm going to be pretty annoyed if we agree to sit down to watch Spaceballs and you keep trying to get a duet of California Dreamin' going. And if we're singing karaoke, I'm going to get miffed if you insist on putting on Princess Bride, no matter how much I love the movie.

More simple restatement of the two paragraphs: having someone never be in the mood and refuse to make a real effort is a turn-off. Not being in the mood at a given time and having that fact disrespected is also a turn-off. I'm pretty sure those are both fairly universal turn-offs, whatever one's gender or orientation.

Posted by: E.L.D. at Feb 4, 2009 4:24:25 AM