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November 18, 2008

Have You Ever Faked An Orgasm?

faking postsecret Pictures, Images and Photos

I published this article originally with Nuts4chic. Here's a repost, for your reading pleasure.


Faking It

by Elizabeth Black

When Meg Ryan threw back her head and faked an orgasm in front of Billy Crystal in the movie When Harry Met Sally, men and women asked themselves how often they faked it. While it's difficult for a man to fake an orgasm, for women, it's an entirely different matter.

Have I ever faked an orgasm? A couple of times, yes. Most of the time, no. I feel no strong need to fake it when I can't come. I just say it's not in me that night. My decent partners have never felt as if they weren't man enough to bring me to orgasm. When I've had trouble coming, it was usually because I was extremely nervous. I had affairs with several married men when I was younger and stupid, and the sound of a car backfiring a couple of blocks away would make me think I was about to be discovered.

So… I faked it.

Throwing my head back and moaning while I writhed on the bed even though the idea of having an orgasm at that moment was as appealing as watching paint dry was my way to get the act over with as soon as possible.

Thankfully, I came to my senses and soon ditched those two jerks.

What other reasons do women give for faking orgasms? Aside of the reason I gave, both partners may fake an orgasm because they don't want to hurt their partner's feelings. How many men think that they are inadequate lovers if they can't get the woman they are with to see fireworks?

Some are unable to have orgasms, and they fake them for the same reason. Sometimes the person is too tired for sex but decided to have it anyway, and that person fakes the orgasm so they can get some much-needed sleep. Some – like me as I have described above – fake it because the sex sucks and they just want to get it over with as quickly as possible.

Alcohol and drugs can affect your ability to have an orgasm. Getting a bit too tipsy can keep you from coming. As far as I'm concerned, if I've had a bit too much port and I can't come, I just say so. An orgasm isn't the Be All And End All of sex, and the ride is just as much if not more fun.

However, not all people feel comfortable admitting that they can't come for whatever reason. So, rather than risk hurting their partner's feelings or risk exposing their own lack of confidence in their sexual prowess, they fake it.

Not having an orgasm doesn't mean the end of the world. In my opinion, if you can't come, just say so. Sometimes your body just doesn't feel up to fireworks. Not coming doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you or your partner. Just enjoy the ride and stop worrying about the climax.

Posted on November 18, 2008 at 08:11 AM | Permalink


Yep,I've faked it. Generally it was because I simply lost interest. I admit to having a problem with a man holding my interest. There, I said it. It can be something as simple as
a comment he makes.

I'm still waiting for the right man. Great post!

Posted by: at Nov 18, 2008 9:23:54 AM

I've faked a few times with my ex-wife towards the end of our marriage. By that time I knew she didn't like sex and didn't have the nerve to say so. We were just going through the motions.

Like Billy Crystal, and most men in my opinion, I can't tell when a woman is faking so my ego never gets bruised. ;)

Posted by: Rob Graham at Nov 18, 2008 2:14:31 PM

I can say I've never faked it. It is what it is, good all the time! Yes, I can tell if the gal that I'm with fakes it, too many dead giveaways.

Posted by: Dave at Nov 19, 2008 7:52:26 PM

I like blogs where they say things I want to say, but better than I could have done. I was thinking about this recently, not so much about faking it. And yes, I have, but not in awhile. But how, the magic "O," isn't the be all and end all with sex for me. It often doesn't happen and when it does, it can be a beautiful gift.

But I love the emotions and warmth and physical sensation of sex and I don't want it to be a goal post or duty I have to make for my lover to feel satisfied.

But then, I've learned to talk to my lover and tell him what I want. Much nicer now!

Good blog post, nice blog,


Posted by: Lilacs at Nov 22, 2008 9:12:04 PM