« Meet Me At The Night Owl Romance Live Chat! | Main | More On Dean Tong - Let The Backpedaling Begin »

January 29, 2008

"False" Allegations/FRster Dean Tong Arrested For Wife Beating

Update: Please see my Dean Tong category for more updates on this case.


I've stopped the family law feminist work for the most part, but I could not let this news go by without saying something about it.

Dean Tong, author of "The Abuse Excuse" and long-time "expert" on "false" allegations of abuse and how women supposedly frequently file them, has been charged - again - with wife beating. According to the paperwork, he is in jail right now.

He was also charged with, to quote the paperwork, "tampering with wit(ness) with force to evade pro(secution).

Interestingly, the paperwork says Tong is a "consultant" who is self-employed, which I've known for years anyway. He's not a real expert on anything. He created his "job" of "forensic consultant" in cahoots with another "false allegations" proponent, Ken Pangborn, who has issues of his own, and husband/wife team the late Ralph Underwager and Hollida Wakefield (infamous for their pro-incest quotes in the Dutch pedophile magazine Paidika- Paidida, Part 1, Paidika, Part 2, Underwager - "expert" (bah!) testimony), Richard Gardner (see my links about the bogus Parental Alienation Syndrome, and information from The Leadership Council about PAS), etc., after Tong beat charges laid against him in his prior marriage of sexually abusing his daughter, whom I understand does not speak much to him to this day.

My source is NOT the sources below. MY source is not feminist, does not believe most women when they make allegations of abuse, and that source is not very friendly towards feminism. I also learned of the charge before the news article came out. I only link to the first source because it provides a readable image of the paperwork detailing Tong's charges. I can't figure out how to post that paperwork on my blog, and I have the same paperwork in e-mail.

I found the Florida database page of Dean Tong's arrest record for beating his wife and tampering with witness with force to evade prosecution:

Dean Bryan Tong - Arrest/Jail/Charges

Then there is this article, from Tampabay10s.com Abuse Expert Arrested On Abuse Charge.

Here's the article itself:


Tampa, Florida - Google the name "Dean Tong" and the search turns up hundreds of entries that list him as a "nationally recognized legal consultant and author on child abuse, custody and abduction cases."

Tong is an author who has appeared on many national television and radio shows on the topic of false accusations of child abuse.

His web site, abuse-excuse.com, describes him as an "internationally known family rights and forensic consultant on child abuse, domestic violence, and child custody cases."

Hillsborough County Sheriff's deputies arrested Tong today, accusing the domestic violence expert of domestic violence.

An arrest report says Tong grabbed, shoved and bruised his wife as they argued in their Riverview home. It goes on to say Tong slammed his wife's foot in the door and wrestled the phone away from her as she tried to dial 911.

Tong was arrested on charges of domestic battery.


The news is making the rounds like a wildfire. Expect to see men's and father's rights advocates backpedal like crazy over Tong's arrest. After all, Tong was one of their "false" allegations darlings. Sucks to be them.

This arrest only proves what I have been saying for years; that those who complain most loudly about women supposedly frequently filing false allegations of child abuse and domestic violence are guilty of those crimes in their own lives. It's good to see another supposed "expert" on "false" allegations get his comeuppance.

I will update this post or create new posts as I am sent new information.

Posted on January 29, 2008 at 07:09 PM | Permalink


Dean was always effective in my findings with helping men attain their innocence when accused. There were times that I sent my clients to him for help. At one time I ran my own legal document service. However, I felt that he would milk the majority of my clients dry. Not to mention, I found him to be demeaning towards me as a woman. Unfortunately, he is an ass hole and very good at tooting his own horn. I am really not surprised about the charges.

However, this is not good for those who have been accused falsely of any kind of abuse.

I guess this goes to show that humans are not g-d just human and we are subject to error as well as great acts of evil.

Posted by: Michele at Jan 30, 2008 11:07:12 AM

Gee, Michele, I know that as an attorney your job is to represent your client no matter what. But seriously, do you really think these guys you represent were "innocent"? Come on, you had a job to get done, and Dean was a good hatchet man. He was also, so you admit yourself, milking these jerks dry (is that some sort of weird poetic justice?) And he was a condescending asshole to women like yourself. Honestly, get a clue. Not that there aren't some false accusations, but seriously I think they are few and far between. So let's at least be honest with ourselves. You're a hired gun with a job to do, and you get it done. "Truth" or "justice" ain't got nothing to do with it. So cut the pious speeches about how we are "human" and "subject to error." YOu made your ethical decision. Own up to it.

Posted by: silverside at Jan 30, 2008 11:41:50 AM

I bet you gals are just jumping up and down, because he got arrest, who is to said his wife is lying, all she had to calla the po and say he him. which equal arrest..

you women make me sick,,,

Posted by: Crossnot at Jan 30, 2008 1:39:38 PM

Yea, but it isn't just Tong. Most of these FR guys have this kind of history. Wow, these women must have a real conspiracy thing going--getting on the phone every night to coordinate how their going to phone in false accusations. Just like the wife before them, the one they had been taught to badmouth as a lying bitch. Yea, yea. We know. These guys are never guilty. They're all choir angels (rolling eyes here).

Posted by: silverside at Jan 30, 2008 2:15:34 PM

I myself was glad to see his arrest. I have been worried about something stupid happening in my own case - like this idiot showing up as an expert. While that is a concern, I did not see it as a credible threat as I have 3 dv agencies backing me completely. I still have to deal with a dumb opponent FR atty for my ex, but thus far even being pro se I have been able to smash him (knock on wood). I keep praying thast as long as I continue to have the truth on my side, I will prevail. And so far, that has been the case for the most part. The truth does win out. And what better time for this to happen than right during elections.

Posted by: Mom in Florida at Jan 30, 2008 7:40:17 PM

Dear Silverside:

Please note that I am not an attorney. Two: There are men and women everyday on this planet that are falsely accused of a crime that they did not commit. There is a plethora of mental illnesses out there along with personality disorders. Not to mention, I grew up in a home where my mother accused my real dad of being a pervert which he never was and never will be. My own dad went through hell because my mom's hate was more for him than the love for her daughters. My sister and I suffered greatly for years.

Posted by: Michele at Jan 31, 2008 8:30:16 AM

Maybe the truth does win out--but sometimes it takes a long time. In my case, it took 11 years before my ex lost custody. He is now on the NYS Registry for Child Maltreatment and Abuse, and has disowned my daughter for "betraying" him. That's ok, she doesn't want anything to do with him either.

Posted by: silverside at Jan 31, 2008 8:30:59 AM

Dear Mom in Florida:

Good luck. I know that women do suffer from DV. I have first hand knowledge of being abuced and all of the other stuff that ges with it. However, alot of attorneys endorsed Tong because there are men and women whoo really are falsley accused. The river of crap runs both ways. There are those that are falsely accused and those who are truly abused. It is a terrble 2 edged sword. The pendulum never seems to swing in the middle when you need it too.

Please not I am not an attorney. I prepared various legal documents for people and came across several who were accused of DV. So, I would send these guys to Tong. Tong always wanted $5,000 up front before he would send them to an attorney of his choice. I would end up calling Tong trying to talk the price down. He was terribly demeaning to myself as a woman and did not seem to care about the lack of income of others. For crying out loud that is why people came to me to fill out their paperwork.

Good luck with your pro se adventure. When it is all over you will have renewed strength.

Posted by: Michele at Jan 31, 2008 8:56:20 AM


Saw your post of what happened to your daughter. Sorry to have read that. That explains the angry post you sent me.

Imamgine, being a victim of DV and being accused by the abuser of child abuse, loosing your children in their formidable years for 2 1/2 years to such a bloke, and then regaining them back to fix the damage that was done. Several years pass, your duaghters being 17 and 16, and then 1 night you receive a call form 1 of your daughters who is frantically requesting that you come to pick her up now. She happems to be visiting her father who has gotten her drunk and has made sexual advances towards her. Not to mention, when it is reported to the authorities they all stand around scratching their nuts and their heads.

We all have a story to tell. However, I am both a victim of DV and of the system, and so are my daughters.

But, time always tells the truth.

Posted by: Michele at Jan 31, 2008 9:09:38 AM

Dear Crossnot:

It is very possible that the scenario that you wrote about is possibly true but it is also possible that he is guilty.

The sad thing is there is no true balance in the court systems to determine who is really abused and who is not. Also, we have alot of angry one-sided and narrow minded people that run to legislation wanting to see change while forgetting the what ifs. This begats people like Dean Tong and the strong Child Advocates. In our moments of passion we loose sight of the actual outcomes. If we pass this this may happen or that. I gues that is why it is O.K. to error on the side of a child. The end result of this action could save a child or actually take the child out of a safe and sane one into absolute sanity. It would be nice if everything in life would be balanced, but that is a dream of mine. Anyway, crying abuse is a great way to harm someone and alienate them from society. I was once a victim of DV and HRS.

Like I stated in another post: Time always tells the truth. It will be interesting to see how it turns out.

Posted by: Michele at Jan 31, 2008 11:53:43 AM

Moments of passion? Christ, Michele, could you cram any more cliches in? These guys aren't passionate; they're domineering control freaks. As to the rest of your crap, well, you sound like so many MRAs.

Posted by: ginmar at Jan 31, 2008 1:33:51 PM

Dear Ginmar:

I am beginning to believe that Dean Tong is running this blog. The inflamation of anger and insults is amazing. Maybe Dean Tong trained some of you in this career of demeaning the well meaning. Not to mention, I never stated that I was on Tong's side. If you read the first post I beleive you would have caught the drift of my jest here.

When I speak or write, I do so from experience. I understand the pain and the anger of someone who has suffered at the hands of a violent crazy man. Been there done that. I also understand what it is like to be accused of being crazy and having your children taken from you in their formible years. Only to be returned because soemone with brains in the system figured out that they screwed up at the expense of your children's mental health. But, having it done in away where the system monster takes no blame for their idiocies. Not to mention, the court order for visitation stood for years until daddy-o decided to get his daughters drunk and then ...read the posts. I do not like repeating myself.

What I am trying to convey here is this, everyon has been a victim on this blog somehow. There are women who cry wolf and there are men who beat their wives to a bloody pulp! And in the moment of our angered passion we need to take heed to the future decisions at legislation. Because there are charletons out there making big bucks or have some bizarre need to be the center of attention, ie Dean Tongs and men like him and whining women vying for attention.

Read each word carefully.

Posted by: Michele at Jan 31, 2008 1:57:00 PM

Quote from Ken Pangborn, the trial consultant who uses a fake degree from notorious diploma mill, "Shaftesbury University" (not a real school) in England (one he BOUGHT, not earned) to shill himself as "qualified"

"Well the lesbian legion don't think it is worthy. Read the bitter Liz Kates website. She hates fathers completely. Doesn't think a divorced dad should have ANY rights with their kids at all. Look at her railing against joint custody. She explodes at ANY idea to make divorce less rancorous. She's a lawyer in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. I wish she and Tong would get married. They deserve each other. Well maybe Dean's problems will slow down his badmouthing of others, but I doubt it. Usually when he is facing legal problems and is cash strapped, he REALLY gets nasty to get cases. We don't need Liz and Trish WIlson to bad mouth us, Dean does it all on his own with his poisoned tongue. To anybody he sees as competition."

Posted by: Donald Grump at Jan 31, 2008 3:44:50 PM


When you say things like "cry abuse" on a blog read by women who have, well, been abused, and who have been told that they're probably lying and "crying abuse," you're going to have to expect some blowback.

Posted by: Sheelzebub at Jan 31, 2008 4:03:44 PM

Dear Sheelzebub:

I am glad that you read my posts correctly. Thank you. Please acknowledge that I have been there and done that, too. I could have lost my life because of the dirty bastard. Not to mention, he painted me crazy and won his arguement temporarily until he was arrested for DV on his 3rd wife. But 2 1/2 years went by and my daughters watched their father beat their step-mother's head into the kitchen floor while he about choked her to death.

However, I do not hold onto the anger like these poor women do. Currently, I am working on a novel about my experiences that led up to what happened. I am hoping to get it published sometime next year. Right now the title is "Secondhand Shoes" but that could change.

Anyway, god and the universe take care of the vile minded. Time always tells the truth but there comes a time when we need to let it go or it will eat you up.

Please note: Mr. Tong is a complete asshole. He was to me and he was to my clients. He is truly all about Dean.

Posted by: Michele at Jan 31, 2008 8:50:46 PM

Mr. Grump:

It sounds as if you have had dealings with Tong's narrowmindedness. He is just that. His ideas and thoughts are his bible so to speak. He does not give you the room one needs to speak your mind and when you do he will shoot you down because he is Dean Tong.

What sweet memories!

Here on this blog I have been called an MRA and in the past Dean has called me a wacky social worker. Wow! And I am neither.

It is amazing how people process information when they are on a war path.

Posted by: Michele at Jan 31, 2008 10:32:05 PM

Michele, you say you have moved past your hurt. Well I cannot move past mine because it is constantly shoved in my face. I tell my best friend there are times I wish I could be back with my abuser again, getting the snot beat out of me. That hurt goes away. This constant mental anguish he puts both of us through (my child and myself) is beyond anything I have ever endured. And I have had a pretty rough life before him. He violated numerous restraining orders, police did NOTHING!!!! I called to report the violations, they would take their time getting to me, he would leave due to knowing that I knew where he was or what he was doing, and thus no violation when and if the police ever decided to show up. Once it took me nearly 7 hours to get a response to a possible breakin. This scenario - my back door was always chained; it was never used. My front door stuck (it was a little warped and was hard to close so we had to slam it hard). I always locked this door (had to do it from outside due to door sticking). I come home due to neighbor's call - your dog is outside, front door is open. I come home - yep dog outside, front door open. Go to her house - call police. SEVEN hours later they show up. What is wrong with this picture.

We also have a poisoning incident early on in this little saga.

The long and short of this post Michele is to let you know - many times when you see upset or heaven forbid, angry women/mothers posting on here - it is simply because we are still being abused. We just don't have the visible marks to show that abuse.

Posted by: Mom in Florida at Jan 31, 2008 11:13:13 PM

Dear Mom in Florida:

I do understand. Probably more than you know. Currently, I am in the event of facing my abuser again. 1) he made sexual advances towards our 16 year old daughter 2) got her drunk and 3) he has avoided ever paying child support even though there is an order.

Unfortunately, the abuser continues to abuse even after you move 3 counties away.

There have been so many times that the police did nothing for me over a course of 23 years regarding the creep. When I was pregnant with our last daughter(the 16 year old) he shoved me in my stomach to the point I had lost my wind and was unable to catch my breath. However, at the time he did this I must have grabbed him and he fell into a book shelf. Pictures toppled on top of him sahttering glass which cut him. When the police arrived they were going to arrest me. I understand what it is like to be told you have a personality disorder. I know what it is like to have some hired gun (a shrink)for his side tell you that you were the cause for the violence. I even know what it is like for a pastor to tell you that if you kept the house cleaner and if you did not wear lipstick then maybe you would not get hit.

I know all of this. But, my point is there are 2 sides to everything in life. Not all men are evil women beaters who want to have incestuous relations with their kids. Not all women that cry abuse are abused. I have seen it working in the legal system.

All of us need to channel are anger into the positive and alot of good things over the years have come out of this. On the other hand, there are lot of crafty minded people out there that manipulate the system towards their advantage, both men and women.

And as for Mr. Tong, he is one angry woman hater. Period. His anger has made him narrowminded and arrogant. Period. Not to mention, he has cashed in on other peoples' problems along with others like him.

Therefore, we all need to see both sides of the issues here. Once again, the river of crap runs both ways.

It will be interesting to see how Dean's situation will turn out. This is when I wish I could be the fly on the wall.

Posted by: Michele at Feb 1, 2008 10:55:04 AM

Michele, you seem to be all over the map here - kinda giving support to supposedly falsely accused men and bashing Dean Tong. Tong finally outed himself. Took him long enough. Don't compare Tong to child advocates. There is no comparison. You admit that you sent people to Tong, and that's coming back to bite you on the ass. That's as it is, and there's no going back. I saw the backpedaling on Tong begin months ago when he "consulted" with wife stabber/judge shooter Darren Mack. It was just a matter of time before he blew it totally, and it looks like that time is now.

I'm sorry about what you are going through with your abuser. Surely dealing with your ex's "Hired Guns" should clue you in about exactly what it is that Tong was all about while you were sending clients to him?

Are you aware that most bona fide false allegations of abuse come from men?

Excerpt of a Canadian study I mention on my web site:


In the largest study of its kind in Canada, Nicholas Bala and John Schuman, two Queen's University law professors, looked at 196 custody hearings across the country. The research showed 71% of sexual abuse allegations were brought by mothers, whereas fathers initiated only 17% of the accusations. The rest were the result of concerned grandparents, siblings or partners who, as well as the parents, often sought aid from a child protection agency.

Of female-initiated allegations, just 1.3% were deemed intentionally false by civil courts, compared with 21% when the man in the failed relationship brought similar allegations.

Here's the link - False Allegations - Mostly Made By Men

Posted by: The Countess at Feb 1, 2008 2:39:25 PM

Dear Countess:

1) I was not bitten in my butt. The people that could afford Tong he helped. I know of 1 gentlemen for a fact never laid a hand on his wife. His office was across from mine. I remember many occassions when he came into the office with bruises up and down his arms, his face scratched up or having have stitches from a vase being broken on top of his head. Or the wife calling him up to tell him via voice mail that if he did not come home this instant she was going to set fire to his clothes.

2) Once again, I am objective. I see both sides.

3) Narrowmindedness towards a cause hurts others. The world we live in is not blak and white but grey.

Posted by: Michele at Feb 1, 2008 11:01:19 PM