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March 05, 2006

Morons For Justice

These guys really don't get it. The way to get the U K government on your side is not to throw eggs at Education Secretary Ruth Kelly. I didn't call them "Morons For Justice". The Sun did. A man from the "Real Fathers For Justice" is behind the egg attack. Kelly is at the center of a media storm for letting "child sex perverts" to work in schools. I'd be outraged at that kind of thing myself, but the way to make your point and accurately get it across is not to throw eggs at people. That just lands you in handcuffs.

Posted on March 5, 2006 at 10:27 AM | Permalink


Eggs are a very dnagerous thing to throw at memebers of the labor government, one protester got a punch in the mouth from the MP who he'd just egged.

Also, any organisation that calls itself the "real" whatever, must get that they just named themselves after a highly militant splinter group of the IRA right?

Posted by: R. Mildred at Mar 6, 2006 12:05:19 AM

hi, i just came across you and have been browsing your posts and comments.
i'm glad to see someone discussing this whole issue and among other points you make, i also completely agree that the way these groups go about thier 'stuff' in infantile and damaging. however i do get a bit disturbed by the fact that there is still such intolerence towards any man who complains about his rights and a there seems to be a complete lack of belief that any fathers are being treated badly at all.
i am a single mother of twin girls. my ex husband and i were trying to conceive, but when i finally got pregnant within a month we had a fight and he changed his mind. over the course of my pregnancy he changed his mind at least 5 times. needless to say i left and stopped publicly paying any attention to his mood swings. we kept 'trying' but after i moved back in when the girls were 6 months old and soon discovered he was still cheating on me i finally said enough. i care more about my children than anything else so despite finding my ex intolerable i held my anger in check(most of the time) and we have bit by bit found a way to get along. we live seperately but within 10mins walking distance. i give him unlimited access to the children. i encourage him to take the girls for weekends etc but he is still often reluctant to really give up his freedom, but he sees them almost every day, in my house or outside. he pays me just enough child support that i can work part time and still be with my children. we make it work. because we both love our kids and are willing to sometimes put our bad feelings aside for them.
many people arent. and because we of course so often see hideous cases of abuse against women and children by males we have become totally biased to the womans p.o.v. but not all women are 'good mothers' and not all men are 'bad fathers'.
i was deeply disturbed by the plight of the poor women who commented on your blog from oct 20 last year. its horrific and i'd also like to ask what happened to ohiomom? could anyone help her? please say yes.
but i have met women since being a single mum myself who have zero respect for the fathers of their children and badmouth them to thier children even though the fathers pay and are desperate to see the children. and worse, i know a very close friend whos now ex wife literally kidnapped their 2 boys (then aged 3 and 9) falsely accused the father of child pornography. she hired a security guard to accompany the 9yr old to school etc on the pretence that she was afraid he would try to kidnap the kids otherwise. she admitted to him and his lawyer that it was all just to try to sway the courts as a threat to him that unless he paid her £5000 a month and £50000 compensation for having been married for 10 years she would never let him see the kids again. he fought her and the court psychologists met everyone involved and said that she was upsetting the children and was highly unstable but that as the younger child was under 7 the kids should stay with her but that she should see a therapist weekly. she never did, and was never forced to. she told the children terrible lies and was dismissive whenever the children asked to see the father. the father had always taken the kids to school and to sports, and he was generally more active a parent than the mother to the 2 boys. not only did he lose out on seeing his beloved boys and understandably become very bitter, he also had to see them suffer. the boys would call him in tears. she stopped them seeing his parent- the boys grandparents and spending christmas with them. the mother is turkish and so just sent the oldest to school as usual, and left the youngest at home all day with the moldovian maid rather than let him visit his father and the grandparents who were visiting from spain. all just to get money and to spite her ex. he had never abused any of them. never had affairs. his crime was to not have been actively involved in her new hobby (reiki) and friends, and so they drifted apart. she just got greedy and knew that the courts would be in her favour....
i was around at the beginning of the whole fight, but as it got uglier and more upsetting the father who was my friend changed. he became terrified for his boys that she was destroying them. i have to admit she seemed to be. they would call him in tears all the time. they would ask to see him and she'd say "tough". she took the 3 yr old out of the nursery he had loved and left him at home evryday with a maid. she moved overnight out of the only home both boys had known, a large rented house which had a garden, to a much smaller flat in a trendy area where the boys had to share the smallest room. she stopped the father seeing the kids for3 months against the courts orders, and then only allowed visits in her home which she supervised and insisted on trying to pick fights each time he visited in front of the kids.
i'm sorry to rant but this would send anyone mad. it does all the time. and my freind became angry and paranoid. he went to therapy twice a week to try to stay sane. and he just about succeeded. but many of his old friends including me felt that we were bad reminders of happy families or just an unneccessary distraction from the job at hand, and we drifted apart.

as a badly treated single mum, i understand anger. i understand frustration but i know that even thjough my ex is a bad husband he is still capapble of being a good dad, and even when he didnt i pushed him and forced him to face it and try. i'm glad i did. the girls love him. he does the guy stuff that they need that i just dont 'get'. and despite being initially pretty annoyoing and useless, through persistent encouragement he has become confident and willing and he is now sometimes quite helpful. and he loves them and loves being a father and is starting to take responsibility for more and more in his own life and those of his daughters.
we shouldnt keep alienating women and expecting them to shoulder all the burden for childcare. instead we should appreciate that many fathers really do want to play an active role- and not just by providing money- even if they dont know it yet. we should encourage that and find a way to work together.
stop thinking about our grievances and assigning guilt and start finding practical solutions and peace plans for the sake of the children. its a lot easier being a single parent if you know your ex- even if he hates you, knows what its like sometimes.

Posted by: keda at Mar 10, 2006 4:23:43 PM