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August 10, 2005

Step... Away... From... The Hacksaw...

A lesson from Pinko Feminist Hellcat - This is what happens to you when you've had too much Mickey's Big Mouth:

Testicles under padlock for two weeks

A US man was taken to hospital after having his testicles stuck in a padlock for two weeks.

The man, from Brentwood, New Hampshire, says a friend fastened the padlock to his scrotum after a drinking session.

Corporal H D Wood IV said the man was severely intoxicated and had passed out.

He told police that when he woke up the padlock was locked around the top of his scrotum and his friend was gone.

"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Wood said.

The man tried to remove the padlock with a hacksaw after the key broke off inside the lock but without success.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith was called to remove the lock. The man was treated and released without sustaining lasting injury.

"At this point we are not sure if it was a prank, or if it was an intentional act, or something done during a sexual act," Wood said.

First point - no jokes about "Wood". Smiley1

Why did he wait two weeks? Was he going for some kind of record? I guess he didn't go near an airport. Imagine the embarrassment of having to drop your drawers and explain why you have a padlock around your balls.

Second, you must be insane to let a hacksaw near your balls!!! Talk about a near-miss... He was probably too embarrassed to call a locksmith.

I guess this guy won't be getting drunk with that "friend" again any time soon.

Posted on August 10, 2005 at 01:59 PM | Permalink


I considered the possibility that this post got me the hate label (because, you know, making padlocked testicles into a political statement must be hate speech, right?). But somehow I think that rating came along a while go.

Posted by: media girl at Aug 10, 2005 8:21:20 PM

That was a great point you made. I first thought "chastity belt" when I read about the padlock, but I didn't think further. I was too focused on the hacksaw.

I'm not sure how you ended up in that category. I just went whaaaa???

Posted by: The Countess at Aug 11, 2005 7:22:33 AM