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April 01, 2005

Bush Proposes New Ten Commandments


By the power invested in me as dictator Supreme Being President of the United States, I hereby invoke Executive Privilege to bring to the American people my compassionate Ten Commandments. They are in effect immediately. Any Americans who protest these Commandments will be sent to Gitmo. If you aren't for us, you're against us.

The Ten Commandments

1. Thou shalt have no gods before me.

2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy President in vain.

3. Thou shalt honor the Sabbath Day, which is evangelical Christian because I said so.

4. Honor thy President and thy Vice-President

5. Thou shalt not kill. (Except in Texas and Iraq.)

6. Thou shalt not have abortions.

7. Thou shalt not steal. (Enron, Halliburton, Worldcom, myself, and my buddies are exempt.)

8. Thou shalt not bear true witness against thine Administration or thou shalt be hauled to Gitmo.

9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's feeding tube, unless politically expedient.

10. That shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods, except when thy neighbor sits on oil.


Posted on April 1, 2005 at 07:55 AM | Permalink


I didn't authorize this.

Posted by: God at Apr 1, 2005 8:31:03 AM

I stumble upon more spinners making up lists and bashing the winners.

Do you really believe in the majority rules? Or is it only useful as one of your tools?
After a defeat or a loss you continue attacking, trying to prevent progress from happening.
You can't allow them the slightest success, no matter how good for all of the rest.
No matter the outcome of the vote or poll someone cheated or is on the dole.
And why blame the other side when it goes wrong? Why should we care what side they were on?
They weren't elected to just to fight, they are the government not the left or right.
When the government fails us we all fail, down to the last one of us.
We did not elect them to obstruct or delay but to compromise that's the American way.
The differences between us are hazy, you think I'm stupid and I think you're crazy.



Posted by: E.D. Kendrick at Apr 11, 2005 5:22:21 AM

What really amazes me about the American system, is just how close to exactly 50/50 your recent elections have been. Does anyone have any explanation for this phenomenon? How can you arrange for a country of 300 million people to be so evenly divided, with so close to half on one side, and half on the other?

Is this, in fact, just proof that marketing and propaganda are now such a refined arts that a near perfect balance has been somehow manipulated?

Just like in Formula One and other motor racing, all the cars go almost the same speed, with the differences being measured in milliseconds?

But how is this achieved over such a diverse population?

What does this say about "Democracy"? The mind boggles.

Posted by: tttwtanbtt at Apr 11, 2005 5:54:48 AM