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September 15, 2003

Choice Comical Quotes About Bush

These were sent to me by a friend. Sorry, I don't have a URL, but I'm sure many of you have read some of them before. My only question is why no quips from Jon Stewart? We live for "The Daily Show" around here. And speaking of choice political satire, check out Mark Fiore's latest.

"Finally, a candidate who can explain the Bush administration's positions on civil liberties in the original German."

-- Bill Maher, on Schwarzenegger running for Governor.


"President Bush is supporting Arnold. But a lot of Republicans are not because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rowe says if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all."

--Bill Maher


"President Bush is on a 35-day vacation, and before he left he had his annual physical, and it turns out his cholesterol now is lower than his approval rating."

--David Letterman


"Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language."

--Conan O'Brien


"They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least according to his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger."

--Craig Kilborn


"Well, we're all excited because President Bush has started his 35-day vacation. He's down there in Crawford, Texas; and on the first day of his vacation he went fishing. He didn't find any fish. But he believes they're there and that his intelligence is accurate."

--David Letterman


Some good news for the economy. President Bush went on a month-long vacation."

--Jay Leno


"The White House released a videotape of President Bush meeting with his cabinet, and today Iraqi officials say they believe the tape is authentic."

--Jay Leno


"The United States is putting together a Constitution now for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It's served us well for 200 years, and we don't appear to be using it anymore. So what the hell?"

-- Jay Leno


"The White House says that the vacation in Texas will give President Bush the chance to unwind. My question is, when does the guy wind?"

--David Letterman


"[President Bush] used his press conference to come out very strongly against gay marriage. And then on a personal note, he apologized if he had done anything to lead Tony Blair on."

--Bill Maher


"President Bush has refused to declassify portions of the congressional 9/11 reports about the Saudis because he says it will help the enemy. Not Al Qaeda, the Democrats."

-- Jay Leno


"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger."

-- David Letterman


"Here's how bad California looks to the rest of the country. People in Florida are laughing at us."

-- Jay Leno


"President Bush held his first full press conference in over five months this week. He announced that the war on terrorism is continuing, much, much more work needs to be done on the economy, and Saddam Hussein has not yet been captured. And then he said, 'I'm going on vacation for a month.'"

--Jay Leno

Posted on September 15, 2003 at 09:19 PM | Permalink

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