This week's article at Nuts4chic is about pick-up lines that make you groan. Actually, I think all pick up lines make you groan because they are so AWFUL!!! I posted some lines that are so bad that you will bleed out of your eyes reading them.
I mention a Weird Al Yankovic song in which he recites some really bad pick up lines. Check out the lyrics:
Girl, you smell like Fritos
That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt
The elastic in my underwear.
Your face is real symmetrical
And your nostrils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl
So I could see you twice
Here's the link to the N4C article. Head over and amuse yourself.
VibeReview - Sex Toys and Vibrator Reviews is a fun little sex toys site that sells some of the most recognizable brands out there. Complete disclosure – I review sex toys for VibeReview. You've read some of those reviews on this blog. This article is a review of the entire VibeReview site.
According to it's "about" page, VibeReview was founded in 2002 by a Registered Nurse, aims to create a safe, female-friendly community where women and men have access to a wealth of adult toy information and sexual health articles. The site offers men and women more than just sex toys. It also offers honest editorial and customer reviews, which make it easier for people to shop on the VibeReview site. Heather, who runs VibeReview, even posted positive e-mail she has received over the years. VibeReview is a high class site.
Not only does VibeReview sell quality sex toys, it also provides customer reviews of the toys. The little hearts are a cute way to engage potential customers into reading the blurbs and choosing the right sex toy, or choosing sex toys for gifts.
What impressed me the most about VibeReview is that it carries some notable name brands, such as the Hitachi Magic Wand, Doc Johnson, Jenna Jameson, and Fukuoku massagers. One of their best sellers is the classic Rabbit Pearl, as seen on "Sex And The City". These are some of the best sex toys out there.
I was even impressed by VibeReview's search engine. When you type in a few letters, the search engine finishes the words for you, giving you several different choices in a pull-down screen. That's how I found out that VibeReview carried at least three different Fukuoku products.
VibeReview does more than sell sex toys. It had teamed with Team Latex to help raise donations for the NYC AIDS Walk held in May, 2007, and it has repeated the team effort for 2008. VibeReview matched all individual donations made through the link provided on the information page. For more information about how VibeReview helped with this Walk, visit this link. VibeReview provided lots of important information about AIDS on that page.
The articles and guides page is full of intelligent and easy-to-read material. The folks at VibeReview don't talk down to customers nor insult them with smutty writing. The interviews with porn stars and porn makers made them accessible and human, not walking sex toys. Those were good interviews.
All in all, VibeReview is an excellent site, with quality sex toys, intelligent articles and interviews, and an activist spirit. I'm glad to write sex toys reviews for VibeReview, and I highly recommend the site.
I've heard some stupid crook stories before, but this is the first time I've run into a stupid crook story about a sex toys shoppe. The guy broke in to steal money, but he couldn't get the cash register open. So, instead, he grabbed a Jenna Jameson sex toy worth $250.00 and fled the scene. The guy's theft was caught on camera.
I couldn't let that story get by without commenting on it. I don't have much to say, but at least the thief knew a good product when he saw one. I hope the authorities are able to catch him, since he did rob the store.
At 4:02 p.m. April 10, two women went into the Federal Way police station claiming that over the past two years, a paranormal person has been placing sensors on their bodies and visiting them in their house at 28600 block of 25th Place South. They said that the ghost has been having sexual intercourse with them. One woman said that these incidents started in Kent and continued when she moved here. The other woman said that this just started now.
Some of my erotic short stories involve ghosts and sex, and I have heard of people who claim to have been raped by ghosts (think of the movie "The Entity"), but this is the first time I've seen news coverage of such a thing.
At first, when I saw the Silver Bullet carried by VibeReview, I thought, "Oh, okay. Another silver bullet. Been there, done that." But I was wrong.
The web site page about the Silver Bullet says that "this "new and improved" multi-speed Silver Bullet is extra intense, so you can retire your old, wimpy bullet vibrator!" VibeReview is right.
As soon as I put the batteries in this little device and turned the heart-shaped knob up, the Silver Bullet jumped in my hand. That was some powerful vibration! I couldn't wait to use it in bed on myself.
I have another bullet vibrator that I was quite happy with for the past ten years. It's not nearly as nice-looking as VibeReviews Silver Bullet, though. Plus, its vibrations were never all that powerful – certainly not the jackhammer vibrations I felt from that Silver Bullet! There was no contest. VibeReview's Silver Bullet beat my old but trusted egg vibrator by miles!
I liked using the Silver Bullet all over my body for a little sensation play before I let it anywhere near my clit. It felt great on my nipples, and the Silver Bullet actually tickled me. I rubbed a little massage oil on my breasts and stomach, and let the Silver Bullet do its magic on my torso. It felt great, and the smell of rosemary from the massage oil only added to the great feeling. This massage oil was Healing Blend by Kama Sutra. I already reviewed that massage oil for VibeReview.
It was almost too powerful. I kept the speed on a lower setting as I rubbed it against my lips and clit. Much more than that and I probably would have gone numb. I slid the Silver Bullet into my pussy a little bit. That sure felt good. I didn't have a condom handy to wrap around the Silver Bullet; otherwise, I would have slid the Silver Bullet all the way in. When I was ready, I could have pulled it out by the condom. I knew better than to pull on the cord.
I came very quickly, which always happens when I use a good vibrator, and I then ramped up the speed, which made my orgasm so intense that I nearly sat up in bed as I came. I really like that vibrator!!
It's so small and unobtrusive that I could pack it in my luggage for trips. Now I have to decide between my Silver Bullet and my Pocket Rocket Booster when I need to travel. That's a tough decision, since both are lots of fun. Knowing me, I'll just pack both with me. I reviewed the Pocket Rocket Booster for VibeReview a few days ago. So, I know how good it is, and the Silver Bullet makes a great accompaniment to it. I could use one on my pussy and the other on my nipples. Great fun! And they're so small that airport personnel won't embarrass me by pulling them out of my luggage for everyone behind me in line to see. With my luck, a conservative minister would be standing behind me, cluck-clucking at my sex toys. Ha!
I definitely like this Silver Bullet vibrator. I was pleasantly surprised how powerful it was. It's nothing like my old stand-by bullet vibrator. I will use only the VibeReview Silver Bullet when I feel the urge to use a bullet vibrator.
I talk about another strange sex product at Nuts4chic this week. You've seen herbal supplements that supposedly make your dick bigger. You've seen the spray-on condoms in a previous Nuts4chic article. This one, however, really takes the cake. Pun intended.
I'm talking about the F Cup Chocolate Cookie. I first learned of this cookie at the sex blog AlexSuze. The cookie comes in both original flavor and new chocolate flavor. The original is below.
Here is an excerpt from my article. Click on the above link to read the whole thing.
I was browsing sex blogs when I ran across mention of the F Cup Chocolate Cookie at AlexSuze.com
I have seen some bizarre products, and I've reported on a few of them for nuts4chic, including spray-on condoms and the Hello Kitty vibrator.
I have never seen chocolate cookies that supposedly give you bigger boobs.
I found a web site that sells the F Cup boob cookies. They're available at the Purple Lady's Collection. These cookies are supposed to be best sellers in Japan. That doesn't surprise me, since Japan is the same place that sells schoolgirl's panties in vending machines. The Hello Kitty Vibrator is also from Japan. There seems to be lots of kink in Japan, from what I've discovered.
Go to the link at the top of this article to read the rest!
Update 5/16/08: VibeReview does carry a left-handed Fukuoku Magnificent Vibrating Glove!! It comes in black. So, buy Gloves for both hands for an incredible two-handed massage, or buy the left-handed Glove if you are a southpaw.
I know that the Fukuoku Magnificent Vibrating Glove is incredible, because when I massaged my husband's head with it, he actually stopped playing Dark Age of Camelot for a few minutes. He was busy crafting weapons for his DAOC store, and that Glove felt so good that he stopped dead in his tracks. All he cared about were the relaxing vibrations on his head, neck, and shoulders. He will be putty in my hands any time I use that Glove on him.
I like to give massages, but my arms and hands tire out quickly if I just massage manually. The Glove keeps me from tiring out because it does all the work. I don't have to press hard down on my husband's back and legs when I use the Glove, so the massage I give lasts a much longer time. The Glove was a bit large for my hand. My fingertips didn't quite reach to the end of the Glove's fingers, but I had no difficulty in using it. The Glove fit my husband's larger hand perfectly. He rubbed the Glove on his balls and penis, and he loved the feel of it. It was soothing and relaxing while being arousing at the same time. When I wore it, I used it on my thighs and let it vibrating around my pussy. I liked the steady vibration, although I like a harder and more varied vibration when I masturbate.
While I knew that the Glove was waterproof, I didn't want to use it in the shower because I didn't want to get it wet. It would take awhile to dry, and I wanted to use it out of the shower. I prefer to use it dry. When I go to the next science fiction convention – I am often invited to cons as a guest speaker about writing – I plan to take the Glove with me to use in the hot tub or pool, assuming the hotel has one. It would be great, sexy fun to rub that Glove on a sexy guy's back as we relax in the hot tub. I can dream, can't I?
I enjoyed using the Fukuoku Magnificent Vibrating Glove very much, and my husband can attest to its benefits. I have long been aware that Fukuoku makes quality massage products, and I felt very fortunate to own the Magnificent Vibrating Glove. I'm right-handed, which made the Glove ideal for me to use. I don't think it comes left-handed, but can you imagine having a Magnificent Vibrating Glove on both hands? Oh, the delectable massage and masturbatory possibilities!
I had a nice, long day of writing sexy articles and short stories, so I decided at the end of my work day to kick back with a glass of port, an episode of "Doctor Who", and my new Pocket Rocket Booster . This Pocket Rocket Booster is part of the Club Jenna line. I had heard rave reviews of Pocket Rocket Boosters for years, and I was dying to have one of my own.
I sat back on the couch, wearing only a pajama top. I was fresh out of the shower, so I was nice and clean. I turned on the episode "Blink", which is my favorite "Doctor Who" episode. It's a scary one about those creepy Weeping Angels. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. I know that, according to Dr. Helen Fisher, there is a link between fear and sexual arousal, so I decided that being scared and being horny was a great combination.
I've already had an egg vibrator to play with, but I knew that the Pocket Rocket Booster was much better. First, I tried the Pocket Rocket Booster alone, without the attachment. I loved the nubs on the end, and they rubbed me just the right way as I pressed the Pocket Rocket Booster in circles against my clit and along my lips. It felt great as it vibrated against my legs. I could barely stand it on my nipples, they were so sensitive. It was great fun to drink my port, watch "Doctor Who", and play with my new Pocket Rocket Booster.
David Tennant plays the tenth Doctor, and I think he's very sexy in a lanky, manic sort of way. So I played with my Pocket Rocket Booster while watching The Doctor get slightly crazy, as he does in every episode. Every time one of those Weeping Angels statues moved a little closer to its target, I pushed that Pocket Rocket Booster even harder against my clit. I was so hot that I even gusted a bit of fluid. Thankfully, I keep blankets on the couch, otherwise I would have left a bit of a mess.
I loved the 5 function 10 speed controller!! My favorite function/speed was the slow and then long pulses. It drove my pussy wild while I played with it. The other functions and speeds were perfect for my face. If I ever get a bad head cold, the Pocket Rocket Booster will be perfect for clearing up my clogged sinuses.
Another advantage of having a Pocket Rocket Booster is that is has a small area of vibration that is perfect for using along my jawline. If you have TMJ (which is jaw pain from grinding your teeth), the Pocket Rocket Booster is perfect to use on your face by your ear where your upper and lower jaws meet. If you have TMJ, that's a very sore spot that feels relief when you rub the Pocket Rocket Booster on it. The Pocket Rocket Booster helps loosen tight muscles in your face to reduce the pain from TMJ and I bet it could even help cure a headache. My husband has arthritis in his right hand by his thumb, and the Pocket Rocket Booster helped relieve his aches. He took the sleeve off the Pocket Rocket Booster and rubbed it on the fleshy mound at the base of his thumb, and within a minute or two his hand felt better. That little Pocket Rocket Booster is a miracle device!
The Pocket Rocket Booster is so good that even the cats like it. My cat Oreo loves it. It was perfect for massaging her between her shoulder blades and on her back, but she didn't like it on her ears. My other cat Lucky wasn't sure what to make of it. He thought it was a chew toy and tried to bite it, but it rattled his teeth. He did like it on his back, though. So, the Pocket Rocket Booster is a bit hit with the kitties, as a massage tool.
So, I liked the Pocket Rocket Booster very much. It's versatile, and everyone – even the cats – loves it!
I read an article about a university study that basically said that most guys are too dense to know when a woman is flirting with them. It seems she has to konk him over on the head and not be so subtle as to twist her hair or bat her eyes. So, guys, are you really all that dense? Think she's "just being friendly"? Take a closer look!
That conversation went off on a tangent of some of the most groan-inducing pick-up lines I have ever heard. I'm talking really bad folks, so bad you laugh out of sheer embarrassment. So, I'm going to write another article about pick-up lines. Do they work? Are they too stupid to work? Or because they're so stupid, are they effective ice breakers? Tell me your experiences in comments!
When the articles are out at Nuts4chic, I'll post the links here. Vir isn't quite off the ground yet, but when it is, I'll announce it here. The articles at Vir will be longer than my Nuts4chic articles. I'm psyched about Vir. It's coming along quite nicely.