March 24, 2011

Come To My New Blog And Web Site!

I have a new blog and web site, and I'm inviting everyone to it. This blog/web site focuses on my erotic writing. I will continue to post sex toys reviews on this blog. So, if you want to keep up with me, visit me at my new digs.

Elizabeth Black - Blog and Web site

See you there!

Lizzie

Posted on March 24, 2011 at 12:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBack

December 03, 2010

Missing Dad? Get Yourself A Flat Daddy!

I thought I'd seen everything but this really takes the cake. I must give the inventor kudos for ingenuity, though. Is your husband deployed overseas? Afraid the kids will miss him if you don't have something lifelike around to remind them of him?

Then buy a Flat Daddy!

The Flat Daddy was invented by "Sgt. 1st Class Barbara Claudel of the Maine National Guard who was looking for a way to help families stay connected to their loved ones serving in Iraq. It's an idea that is taking off with military families around the country." There are Flat Mommies too but they aren't getting the attention Flat Daddies are getting. I gotta admit it's kinda cute, but a little strange.

Flat Daddy is a "life-sized, two-dimensional poster printed on a rollable adhesive-backed material that can be mounted to cardboard, foam, wood, or any other surface."

They're not cheap. Flat Daddy costs $49.50. I can buy a cardboard cut-out of Angelina Jolie on eBay much cheaper.

The whole idea of Flat Daddy does bring up some interesting questions:

When a child hugs Flat Daddy, does it hug back?

Does Flat Daddy do a load of laundry or cook at least one meal?

Can you put it in your car's passenger seat and drive through the HOV lane during rush hour without a cop pulling you over?

It sounds a little too much like Japanese lap pillow for men and the Japanese boyfriend arm pillow for women. Very weird stuff.

Can a guy buy one for his ex-wife to keep around the kids when dad is not around in a way that won't piss her off?

Can you pose with Flat Daddy when taking family portraits?

As one poster on FARK wrote, "Sure, until until your kids start preferring the Flat-Daddy. "Flat-Daddy never tells me to do my homework..WAHHH!!! I want my Flat Daddy back! GO away again!""

There are similar products out there, although this one is a spoof. Protect your home with a Home Security Decoy! As seen on a spoof on Saturday Night Live. (also see the beer can version to hide your valuables.)

I think Flat Daddy is a cute and innovative idea albeit a bit strange.

Posted on December 3, 2010 at 12:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 22, 2010

Ghost Sex, Anyone?

I seriously doubt that ghosts use sex toys but you never know. Check out these two bizarre ghost/sex stories. The first one is new. I suppose the grifter tried to have sex with the widower and "channeled" his dead wife. Now that takes chutzpah!

Lawyer Accused of Impersonating Client's Dead Wife
Karen Sloan
The National Law Journal
September 07, 2010

In what could be a first, an Arizona attorney may face disciplinary action after an investigation found that she told a client she was channeling his dead wife, then lied about it during an unrelated disciplinary proceeding.

An Arizona Supreme Court hearing officer recently filed a report on the conduct of Charna Johnson, who began representing the client in 1999 in divorce proceedings after meeting him in a ballroom dancing class. The client's wife committed suicide the following year and Johnson handled the probate matters.

Within days of the death, Johnson began telling her client that "his deceased wife Jan had 'come' to her and that Jan's 'spirit' was 'inside' her and that she could communicate Jan's thoughts," according to the report. The client testified that Johnson pressured him to have a sexual relationship, although she told the investigator that the references to sex were coming from the deceased wife, not herself. The report recommends Johnson be suspended for six months.

This second one is a couple of years old. I've heard of men and women believing they've had sex with ghosts, but most often they are called incubi or succubi. These critters have been around for aeons and they are nasty. Don't mess with them. They are also most often the same creature. A succubus (female form) has sex with a man and takes in his semen. Then, the creature turns into the male form (incubus) and has sex with a woman, ejaculating the semen into her. Rinse and repeat with another man. Pretty bizarre legend isn't it? I wonder what kind of sick people came up with stuff like this in centuries gone by?

Two women report ghost has been having sex with them

Apr 19 2008

• At 4:02 p.m. April 10, two women went into the Federal Way police station claiming that over the past two years, a paranormal person has been placing sensors on their bodies and visiting them in their house at 28600 block of 25th Place South. They said that the ghost has been having sexual intercourse with them. One woman said that these incidents started in Kent and continued when she moved here. The other woman said that this just started now.

Posted on September 22, 2010 at 07:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 04, 2008

I Wonder What PZ Myers Thinks Of This?

OCTOPUS!!!

Look! It's tentacle sex!

"A MAN whose self-esteem is so low he identifies himself as a beast has admitted to downloading images showing sexual acts with an octopus. Rodney Scott McLagan, 48, of South Arm, was caught with 31,000 images and video files involving sexual acts with children, dogs, ponies, snakes, tigers and an octopus."

That's something you don't see every day.

Posted on July 4, 2008 at 10:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

July 22, 2007

Excedrin Won't Make A Dent In This

I have had "Puttin' On The Ritz" sung by Peter Boyle and Gene Wilder from "Young Frankenstein" stuck in my head since early this morning. NOTHING will make it go away! I am now listening to the Tomb Raider Anniversary game soundtrack, and I can still hear Boyle shrieking "Puttin' On The Ritz" in the background.

Ever get a song stuck in your head? What was it? Tell me about it in comments.

Posted on July 22, 2007 at 01:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

April 17, 2007

Marfa Lights

I've known about the Marfa Lights for ages. They're up there with the Brown Mountain lights and the Maco Light. John Janks has written about the Marfa Lights, and I've linked to his stuff before. Now, he and his wife have recreated the Marfa Lights in their hallway. It's an awesome YouTube video.

Here it is if you want to see for yourself. John's a cool guy. I'm happy to send people his way.

Below is the YouTube embed. The Count recently upgraded my laptop, so now I can view YouTube. I couldn't with OS 9. I now have OS X. Here's hoping the embed works.

Posted on April 17, 2007 at 11:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

January 25, 2007

We Don't Need No Steenking Sponges!

Note to anyone who decides to microwave your kitchen sponges to kill germs on them: make sure they are wet first. Scientist experimented found that you can disinfect kitchen sponges if you place them in the microwave for two minutes at high power. More than a few people tried this experiment, only to see their sponges catch on fire.

They are supposed to be wet when you put them in the microwave.

One guy wrote to a news organization to say that not only did his sponge catch on fire, it put out a lot of smoke and made the house smell like a burned tire for several hours, even with the windows open.

I just wanted to make sure that if anyone wants to disinfect their kitchen sponges in the microwave, make sure the sponges are wet. Two minutes at high power in the microwave should do it. Be careful pulling the sponge out of the microwave, because it will be hot.

Posted on January 25, 2007 at 07:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

January 24, 2007

Is This A Rabbit Or Half A Pair Of Bedroom Slippers?

This rabbit looks like my cat Beowulf. Note the resemblance.

This is Beowulf:

beowulf.jpg

This is an Angora rabbit:

Bunny

Either there is some rabbit in my cat, or there is some cat in that rabbit. Either way, they are both very fuzzy.


Posted on January 24, 2007 at 10:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

January 23, 2007

Sun Sign Affects Your Driving Record?

The only reason I'm linking to this "study" is because I am the worst sign for traffic tickets. I'm a Pisces.

Apparently, your sun sign determines your penchant for getting traffic tickets and car crashes. I'm at the top of the list for traffic tickets. I have had only two tickets in my entire life, and no other tickets. Overall, for tickets and accident, Pisces comes in fourth. Libra comes in first. My rising sign is Libra. I'm doomed. Maybe I should look out for bridges falling on me or something.

Posted on January 23, 2007 at 12:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

January 17, 2007

Flesh-Eating Fish As Part Of A Beauty Regime?

I knew that headline would grabyou.

Apparently, using tiny, flesh-eating fish are hot in beauty salons in Singapore. You soak your feet in a bath filled with the fish. The fish eat the dead skin off of your feet. Then, you get your pedicure.

I bet it tickles.

Using flesh-eating fish in this manner is also done in Japan and China.

If I were able to go to Japan for this year's WorldCon, guess what I would do?

Posted on January 17, 2007 at 12:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)