March 24, 2011

Come To My New Blog And Web Site!

I have a new blog and web site, and I'm inviting everyone to it. This blog/web site focuses on my erotic writing. I will continue to post sex toys reviews on this blog. So, if you want to keep up with me, visit me at my new digs.

Elizabeth Black - Blog and Web site

See you there!

Lizzie

Posted on March 24, 2011 at 12:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBack

February 13, 2011

Babeland Review: Slimline Pirates Rocket Vibrator

Pirates Rocket Vibrator - with abject apologies to Robert Lewis Stevenson and "Treasure Island"

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
A vibe that surpasses the best of the best
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
With gleaming gems on a rounded base
And a velvety finish to suit her taste
Her climax will make her little heart race
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Ten of the crew had the lover's mark!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Three designs to make her sweat
Two vibe patterns her desires are met
And intensity levels she'll never forget
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

Fifteen men of 'em good and true
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Ev'ry man jack could ha' sailed her virtue,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Skull and crossbones on the shaft
Batteries, buy them in a two-pack
Eight inches of joy without any slack
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

This delightful pocket vibe is patterned after the popular "Pirates" and "Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge" porn movie series. This movie series has released a series of pirate-themed sex toys that are quite amusing to behold - and joy to use. The Pirates Rocket Vibrator comes in three kitschy designs, all shown below.

All you need are two C batteries to get you started. The shaft, made of hard plastic, is velvety soft, and the vibrations intense and enjoyable. The pulsation patterns will send you into the orgasm stratosphere: undulating, pulsating, and continuous. Whilst the shaft itself is eight inches long, six inches of it is insertable. This vibe may be used vaginally or on your clitoris, or a combination of both. If you enjoy deeper penetration, this vibe is well suited to your needs. It's not a G-spot vibe, but it's sure great fun to use. The pirate-themed tattoos on the shaft give this jewel-encrusted vibe a kitschy look. It's a fun toy to use and view. And it will deliver you orgasms so intense you'll start speaking in Buccaneer. Yarrrr!!!

Buy your sex toys at Babeland!

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Read my other Babeland Sex Toys Reviews here on my blog, and don't forget my Sex Toys Reviews Category. Now shiver your timbers and buy yourself some pirate booty!

Posted on February 13, 2011 at 04:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (32) | TrackBack

May 17, 2010

Adult Sex Toys Porn Review - Pirates

I had heard about Pirates for quite some time and I was eager to review it. See, I'm fussy about porn. Most of it does absolutely nothing for me. I'm not attracted to either the men or the women in most porn, which is no mean feat because I'm bi. The endless fucking by people who look bored doesn't turn me on at all. I do like some classic porn, which I have reviewed here, but for the most part it's hard for me to find porn that pleases me. It's even harder for me to find porn that turns me on.

That is, until I finally saw Pirates. Now this is a fun movie! Made in 2005, it has it all - a plot, actors who can act, humor, gorgeous people, amazing sets and special effects (the budget for this movie was a million, and that's pretty cool considering it's porn), beautiful costumes, and candles... lots of candles.

Here's an amusing trivia tidbit about the movie from the Internet Movie Database: "Some scenes were filmed aboard the HMS Bounty, at The Pier in St. Petersburg, Florida. The city of St. Petersburg, which owns The Pier, did not realize that the film was porn; the producers represented the film as a PG-13-level comedy for television." Ha! The HMS Bounty will never live this one down!

Pirates won and was nominated for a slew of awards, including the AVN award for top selling title of the year, AVN best actor, best actress, best all-girl sex scene - video, best director, best supporting actor, best music, and much more. In all, Pirates won thirteen awards and was nominated for ten awards. Pretty spiffy.

I could see the influence of "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl" in this movie since quite a few of the men tried to pull off the Capt. Jack Sparrow look. These days, no self respecting pirate leaves his crow's nest without eyeliner.

The plot was loads of fun. If all the sex scenes were taken out, this movie would still make a nice stand-alone pirate flick, but of course the sex scenes only add to the enjoyment. Here's the plot summary from the Internet Movie Database, which gave Pirates a 7.5 out of 10 rating. Not bad for a porn flick.

Swash and unbuckle. In 1763, the Caribbean is awash in pirates. The worst is Stagnetti, backed by his bloodthirsty first mate, Serena. He wants the Scepter of Inca, which gives its owner great powers. To remove it from remote Calaveras Island, he needs the Dagger of Ataljuapa as well as the aid of a descendant of the family to whom the Scepter was entrusted. So, he kidnaps Manuel Valenzuela, honeymooning with the lovely Isabella. On Stagnetti's trail are pirate hunters, Captain Edward Reynolds and Jules, his commander. Edward's a bit clueless, but he does rescue Isabella. Once Stagnetti has the Dagger, the stage is set for the clash of good and evil.

I found as I watched this delightful movie that I was attracted to lots of people, in particular Jesse Jane as Jules and Evan Stone as Capt. Edward Reynolds. Other notables are Carmen Luvana, Tegan, Tommy Gunn, and Devon. Reynolds' fucking and acting came across as very hot and natural. Jesse Jane was just incredibly hot to watch. True, the actors are buff and all have been under the plastic surgeon's knife (note: every boob in this movie is fake) but I liked the hardbodies very much. This is a movie I could jerk off to.

I'm going to find more movies made by this production company, Digital Playground. There are two sequels to Pirates and I would happily jerk off to both while enjoying a good movie. The director, Joone, has quite a bit of talent. The high production values did not get past me. I found other movies by Digital Playground that I would love to see and review so that you too may enjoy them. Pirates was a blast to watch - more than once, mind you - and I highly recommend it to anyone who wants a fun and sexy porn movie to round out your evening. This movie is ideal for couples as well. Sit back, pop some popcorn, and enjoy

This sex toy review sponsored by Adult Sex Toys: over 8,000 sex toys and adult toys to choose from.

Posted on May 17, 2010 at 11:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack