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September 14, 2008

Nuts4chic: Stupid Sex Slang Terms

Why Do Sex Slang Terms Have To Be So Stupid?

by Elizabeth Black

I found this really cute Internet quiz asking you to identify old-fashioned slang terms related to sex. While "slattern" and "French letter" are dated, they made me think of those cute nicknames parents give the vagina, labia, penis, and scrotum when talking to their kids.

Why do these nicknames have to be so stupid?

Susie Bright talked about the dressing-down a grade school teacher gave her when, upon Bright's daughter raising her hand to use the bathroom, the teacher asked if she needed to go “number one or number two.” Her daughter replied, “Neither, my vagina itches and I need to scratch it, then wash my hands.” I howled when I read that. The teacher, however, was incensed, and wanted to know if Bright had a "cute nickname" for her daughter's vagina. Bright said of course not. Call the vagina what it is – a vagina.

My mother had cute nicknames that neutered my body parts. My vagina, vulva, and labia were my "suzie" and my ass was my "buddy". My nipples were my "buttons". These names were embarrassing, and they never made sense to me. To my knowledge, no one else called their vagina, vulva, and labia their "suzie" or their ass their "buddy." Words like "pee pee" and "va-jay-jay" are acceptable today, but vagina, labia, vulva, and scrotum are met with red faces and stammering.

Why do people, parents especially, call their perfectly natural sex organs by such stupid nicknames? All that does is make children (and other adults) feel embarrassed about their bodies. We hide our vaginas and asses in layers of clothing and shroud them in neutralizing nicknames. While some nicknames are appropriate, others are hateful. Pussy, dick, and cock are appropriate nicknames. As far as I can tell, they don't carry any baggage. I use them in erotic fiction all the time. On the other hand, cunt and twat in many cases are derogatory, rendering the vagina and lips as filthy, and defining a woman as composed only of her sex organs, in turn labeling them (and the woman) as cheap and dirty.

Nicknames for sex are just as bad. What are we left with to describe sex? Getting it on? Pork? Bang? Boinking? Coupling?

What if you're having a menage? That makes "coupling" obsolete.

Having sex? Tap? Hit? Get laid? Screw? Jumped her bones? Ick, that last one sounded like necrophilia.

"Lovemaking" and "making love" hide how fun, dirty, and smelly a good fuck can be. "Fucking" seems crude, but accurate. Sometimes being crude makes sex fun. As a writer, I like to use "fuck" instead of "having sex" or "making love" because "fuck" doesn't gloss over how hot and urgent a good fucking can be. "Having sex" sounds too clinical. "Making love" sounds too flowery, and it takes the urgency and horniness out of sex. As long as people are embarrassed about sex and their vaginas, vulva, labia, penises, and scrotums, there will be cute, neutering nicknames.


Jezebel: "Why We Hate 'Making Love'"


Susie Bright's Journal


Posted on September 14, 2008 at 06:41 PM | Permalink


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One of the biggest problems I find when writing erotica is that there are so few words and phrases I'm willing to use. Repetition gets to be a pain.

I loathe all the cutesy, neutering and often outright degrading terms that sex and genitalia are couched in.

It's not surprising though. We live in a culture that still thinks sex is evil. We might think it a lot of fun, but overall it's still not something 'good' people do.


Posted by: Rob Graham at Sep 15, 2008 11:14:54 AM

I know what you mean, Rob. Sometimes using the same words sounds repetitive. I have trouble with it, too. There aren't very many words to choose from without getting into the flowery words that just sound silly. Then we're left with the truly vulgar words that I find very distasteful.

Posted by: The Countess at Sep 16, 2008 11:16:19 AM

When I write erotic fiction, I tend to resort to colorful metaphor when referring to anatomoy- crevasse, wand, tower, etc. as appropriate for setting and mood. However, I do agree, the present thinking and vocabulary on human sexuality needs to be greatly improved overall.

Posted by: Capn at Oct 21, 2009 2:57:04 PM

I have a friend that had an erotic novel once that had the statement: "He thrust his turgid member into her quivering quim".

I almost had a stroke when I read that...lol.

Posted by: Sacgary at Oct 22, 2009 7:31:31 PM

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