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May 09, 2006

Five Myths About Anal Sex

AskMen.com has an interesting article up about anal sex. It lists what it calls five myths. It's clear that the article was written to provide a man with information to help a reluctant woman to have anal sex with him. Here are the five myths:

1. The anus is dirty.

2. Anal sex is painful.

3. Anal sex is harmful and unhealthy.

4. Anal sex is a perverted, unnatural act.

5. Anal sex is enjoyed only by homosexuals.

The article offers some good information and advice for men who want to have anal sex with their female partners. I don't think that anal sex is perverted or dirty. That's just plain silly. I do think it would hurt, though. Sometimes a woman might not want to have anal sex because she fears her partner is too big. She's afraid that his size will hurt her. That's why I don't want to have anal sex with The Count. Now my readers know too much about us. evil_smiley.gif

For anyone reading who isn't shy, do you like anal sex? What works for you to keep it from being painful?

What other sexual positions do you like? I know that the traditional "missionary" position doesn't stimulate the woman's clitoris, so it doesn't provide the kind of excitement and enjoyment she could otherwise have. Rear-entry or on top is better for women. If you can get your bodies into the right position, side-to-side is very pleasant. You also have easy access to each other's torsos, so that you can play with each other while fucking. I'm sure there are lots of other positions out there that are lots of fun.

I want to turn this post into another party. Bring out the champagne, truffles, and absinthe, and let's talk about sex. I'd like to hear which positions you like, which ones work for you, and which ones you haven't tried that sounds like fun. Don't be shy! Speak up.

Posted on May 9, 2006 at 05:25 PM | Permalink

Comments

I have to admit, I am completely mystified by anal sex. I cannot imagine why any woman would want to participate in that, or why any man would prefer the anus to the vagina. You might as well try to fuck someone in the ear.

Posted by: Violet Socks at May 9, 2006 7:46:21 PM

I know that the traditional "missionary" position doesn't stimulate the woman's clitoris, so it doesn't provide the kind of excitement and enjoyment she could otherwise have.

I realize that's the case for many women, perhaps most, but not all. It's always worked just fine for me.

Posted by: Violet Socks at May 9, 2006 7:47:24 PM

I've never preferred anal, but I dated a woman who would get a craving for it once in awhile. The key seems to be to use plenty of KY or Astroglide, and go slow. Even then, there's some pain involved.

The thing about the cowgirl position is, it allows the man to stimulate the the clitoris with his thumb, and at the same time press on the lower abdomen, which seems to increase the intensity of orgasm (so I'm told). Also, the woman who got the anal cravings really liked that position because I could use a moistened finger on her anus while we had sex. I guess she really like the whole stimulation overload thing.

Posted by: gordo at May 9, 2006 8:11:28 PM

#1 Rule of Anal Sex: Too much lube is almost enough.

Posted by: McBoing at May 9, 2006 8:34:31 PM

Well I don't have sex because I'm a hairy legged prude, but I must say if I did meet some unicorn who hadn't got the memo about me being a hairy legged prude/sex hater then I prefer from behind, but I've never had one position sex so I wouldn't know.

Anal=ow. Although I have been with some guys who like me to strap it on....I *really* like that.

Posted by: Burrow at May 9, 2006 9:21:59 PM

I confess I'm mystified by the "rear entry is better for stimulation" claims I"ve heard. Rear entry puts all the pressure and friction on wrong side of the opening, as far from the clitoris as can be. I find rear entry about as exciting as a gynecological exam. Less exciting, because it also allows my cervix to be bashed about. It stimulates nothing - clit, g-spot, nothing.

On top, on the other hand, is splendid.

As someone who carried two large babies to term, I don't want anyone near my butt aggravating my 'roids, either. Anal play has never rung my bell.

Posted by: Brocc at May 9, 2006 9:49:27 PM

I've known two women who really really liked anal. Not to the exclusion of vaginal by any means. But, they really really liked it. My significant other doesn't seem interested in trying it. Probably for reason #2. I love it but certainly don't require it to be happy and satisfied.

I don't think any of the women on my relatively short lifetime list did not prefer rear entry. Not having the requisite plumbing, I can't speak to why. all I know is that they all preferred it if they had to pick just one position. None of them picked just one position of course. But, every one very clearly communicated a preference for rear-entry vaginal sex... just to make clear what I'm talking about. LOL

Anal doesn't have to be painful. I don't see any way around some initial discomfort. But vaginal sex starts out with some discomfort too. So that's not necessarily a good reason to avoid anal. Although having an anus of my own I can easily understand the hesitance. But, as is the case with good straight sex... both partners having some knowledge and skill helps immensely.

Posted by: Yukon Gold at May 9, 2006 11:19:24 PM

Per stimulation to the clitoris: y'see, the clit is not just the little nub; that would be the glans, analogous to the head of the penis. The *shaft* of the clitoris lies inside, under a layer of fat and skin, heading in a straight line toward the vagina and then splitting off into two legs ("crura"). Which is why (vaginal) penetration and indirect pressure not right over *that* spot can feel good (too); that *is* stimulation of the clitoris, even if the nub isn't getting direct stimulation.

http://www.luckymojo.com/tkclitoris.html

so anal penetration can actually stimulate part of the (internal) clit; the separating walls, they are very thin.

personally I like anal play, although as of just now I tend to prefer light and shallow penetration to full-on fucking. There are, in fact, a lot of nerves right around the anus (again, everyone's different, but: often), and...yeah. A finger, a small toy, a tongue (with barrier)...

Posted by: belledame222 at May 10, 2006 3:44:47 AM

"The Thinking Woman's Guide to Butt-Fucking"

http://www.fishnetmag.com/archives/2004/08/the_thinking_wo.html

Posted by: belledame222 at May 10, 2006 3:57:01 AM

I don't care much for anal myself, either, Violet. I do like having a finger inserted in my anus while having sex, though. That feels good, and it doesn't hurt.

I've heard of Astroglide, but I've never used it. Never needed it for intercourse, but I bet it's necessary for anal sex.

Posted by: The Countess at May 10, 2006 5:43:52 AM

Hello All;

I like the big three:

Throat, Womb and Bowels.

For those that don't like being opened up, have your partner use vibration devices start with one inch in diameter, That should be smaller than he is. Vibrate on slow to relax the anus. If you vibrate fast the anus contracts. That is not what you want if the Long Boy is going in there. Be nice and go slow. As your lover gets use to that size go to a larger size. Along the way to complete or proper dilation, there may be discomfort and some mild pain. Now use the Long boy, slowly. If there is discomfort just wait for a little while before inserting deeper but do not remove it. If there is some pain remove the Long Boy and wait for about 10 to 20 seconds then slowly insert it again. Continue this process till you can push 4 inches into the void without much discomfort and no pain at all.

That ass is now ready for some Atomic Fuckin’. Don't forget lots of lube.

Oh and by the way guys, if you love your partner tongue every orifice in the pelvic region just for their pleasure. That is if you know they are clean and disease free.

RearEnder

Posted by: RearEnder at May 10, 2006 8:13:25 AM

reverse cowboy, of course.

Personally, I enjoy them all. Obviously, different women prefer different positions. And I have found that I prefer different positions with different women.

A lot of people do not give enough credit to blog sex. Violet Socks and I mainly do it from about an hour away, in code about fruit. Janeen and I use "coffee" as our code. Ginmar and I have this amazing, intense blog, hate sex. If you see us arguing, you know what is on both of our minds....If you see TxFeminist and I discussing father's rights, that is our little code.


Of course, the big three are missionary, woman on top, and from behind. Each have their distinct benefits. I prefer to mix it up with position each time.

Posted by: will at May 10, 2006 9:11:56 AM

Astroglide is allegedly so called because it was developed to help astronauts get in and out of space suits. If we're comparing notes, I find Liquid Silk to be much superior.

On an unrelated note, I really am not a fan of being on top. I find that I get a stitch in my side from the repeated motions. Being on the bottom with my legs wrapped around my partner's lower back is infinitely preferable.

Posted by: Verbose Output at May 10, 2006 12:09:25 PM

For that matter, you really need a more heavy-duty lube for anal than either Astroglide or Liquid Silk; a lot of people like to use an oil-based lube (which can't be used with latex or in vaginas, however), e.g. Boy Butter readily available at yer friendly neighborhood wimmin-friendly toy shop (Babeland, Blowfish, Good Vibrations). I understand Crisco is a traditional favorite. dunno as I'd recommend it especially.

a brief guide (not promoting Babeland in particular, p.s.; it's just what came up)

http://www.babeland.com/page/TIB/CTGY/safe-sex-lubes

generally I really dislike lube for most vaginal penetration or play (unless perhaps pleasantly heated), fo rmyself I mean; it's too too much. not enough friction, both partner and I have more trouble than strictly necessary finding the best-feeling bits anymore.

I'm just curious, btw: so wrt talk about "positions," we are pretty much assuming PIV intercourse, right? Is that usually the "main course" for y'all?

Posted by: belledame222 at May 10, 2006 1:49:27 PM

per "differ'nt strokes for different folks:"

I have a book called "Tantric Sex for Women," which talks about a traditional Cherokee (I am taking the author's word for it) system for distinguishing different types of female orgasms, and the bodies that are most likely to have them. i.e.: "Orchid," "Rose," "Corn Poppy." as with all such systems I don't take it too literally; but definitely it's true that pussies and their respective bits come in all shapes and sizes (and temperatures, and colors, and degrees of tendency to lubricate, and...)...and it does make a difference as to what kind of position you'll like for penetration, I think. some women have the clit glans very close to the vaginal opening, for instance; others, several fingers' distance worth. and so on. (and the size and shape and positioning of the object doing the penetration matters too, obviously, as well as of the body wielding it...)

Posted by: belledame222 at May 10, 2006 2:04:26 PM

I was in my late 20s before I ever heard that some women need artificial lube for vaginal penetration. Seemed bizarre as hell to me -- surely if you're not producing the juices, then you're not aroused enough for sex. But I've been told that this does indeed happen. Is it common? Among pre-menopausal women?


Posted by: Violet Socks at May 10, 2006 2:12:36 PM

I mean to say, I was surprised at pre-menopausal women needing artifical lube.

Posted by: Violet Socks at May 10, 2006 2:14:47 PM

Okay, let me try again -- sorry, I'm in the middle of mucking about with my dog and my first comment didn't make sense. Anyway, I do realize that it's common for pre-menopausal women to use lube, but I guess I'm asking how common it is. I've always thought it was probably the minority of women, but am I mistaken?

Posted by: Violet Socks at May 10, 2006 2:30:30 PM

Wow, lots of great comments.

One thing I've never had a problem with is lubrication. I'm nice and slick at the drop of a hat. I'll probably be like that when I'm 80. I have a very high sex drive, and I'm always in the mood for sex.

I know that some pre-menpausal women need artificial lube, but I haven't heard much from any of them. Don't some men want some women to use lube so that intercourse doesn't rub them too rough? Maybe I'm just imagining things.

I agree with Belldame that there are many different kinds of orgasms. Mine change all the time. Sometimes they are earth-shattering, and other times they are just pleasant flowings that relax me so much I want to go to sleep.

Heh. Talking about sex is fun. :D

Posted by: The Countess at May 10, 2006 2:31:30 PM

Lubrication's never been a problem for me either, which is why I've been curious about the need for artificial lube. The only vagina I'm familiar with is my own!

Posted by: Violet Socks at May 10, 2006 2:36:16 PM

I've had times where I've had to use artificial lube.A couple of years in my 20s (now was this a bodily manifestation of my PTSD from a sexual assault...I'd say probably as was my inability to orgasm after the last sexual assault for years (fixed that now, though THANK GOD))

But it happens to a lot of women, sometimes you r body just doesn't produce it's own lube no matter how turned on you are. If you are having sex after a few drinks or while in water those tend to slow (or stop) lube production (weird on that last one, I know).

Lube makes the world go round, my dear.

Posted by: burrow at May 10, 2006 2:36:54 PM

I find that lube is essential if I'm planning on going more than one round. Also, it reduces friction on my partner, which is a plus.

Posted by: Verbose Output at May 10, 2006 4:22:28 PM

As the resident male slut on this site, I would suspect that maybe 25 percent of women need lube on a regular basis. I once dated a women who couldnt get slick while she was on birth control pills, but the second she switched to the nuvo ring, we didnt have any trouble.

I wonder if there is much of difference between the need for 20 year old, relatively-new-to-sex-pre-childbirth women and been-around-the-block-having-fun-maybe-had-kids women in their 30's.

Personally, friction is part of the fun. Of course, you have to fdind the happy medium.

Posted by: will at May 10, 2006 4:51:47 PM

Of course, there can also be the need for lube at the end of marathon long all night or day sessions.

Posted by: will at May 10, 2006 4:53:21 PM

Coco butter is the best lube. I don't need it for vaginal but my partner likes it on him when I use my hands on his cock.

For anal a little lube is nice at the start. It can hurt but doesn't have to. The trick is for the man to hold still and let the woman push on to him. If she bears down as she slides on, it naturally opens the sphincter that is hurt when it is penetrated when she is not relaxed.

Posted by: Promenea at May 10, 2006 5:33:41 PM

I'd add: and even for vaginal penetration, there are times when I'd probably want extra lube--if I wanted to go for the whole fist, say.

Posted by: belledame222 at May 10, 2006 9:47:24 PM

back, um, to anal:

http://www.goodiebag.tv/video/do_you_take_it.htm

Posted by: belledame222 at May 10, 2006 9:51:15 PM

Is it true that if a woman becomes pregnant through this act the child will necessarily grow up to be a lawyer?

Posted by: Dirk at May 11, 2006 9:13:40 AM

Will, how do you get all these women to go to bed with you?

Posted by: Violet Socks at May 11, 2006 1:26:38 PM

VS:

I do not think that I like your tone or your implication!

First, I never said anything about beds.

Second, you have heard the saying "even a blind pig can find an acorn every now and again"?

Third, the words "single, not gay, has most of his teeth, lawyer, does not live with mom, not a lacrosse player" are words that most 30-50 year old women find pleasing.

Fourth, being the resident male slut is an easy title to obtain when the only other competition is young Alon.

Fifth,

Posted by: will at May 11, 2006 1:38:36 PM

"single, not gay, has most of his teeth, lawyer, does not live with mom, not a lacrosse player"

That's it? That's your draw? Oh man, I was hoping for something better than that.

I haven't been shopping for a man in a while, but if at my age I have to settle for teeth, maybe I'll pass.

Posted by: Violet Socks at May 11, 2006 3:21:13 PM

I was trying to avoid mentioning the blackberries so as to not incurr a stampede.

Posted by: will at May 11, 2006 3:34:18 PM

Speaking of young Alon, did you see where he said you and me and Steve ought to get together? Kids today are so romantic!

Posted by: Violet Socks at May 11, 2006 3:41:32 PM

That is so sweet.

I do have a fondness for Steve. Is he willing to spread muclh and fertilizer for our garden?

Posted by: will at May 11, 2006 3:55:45 PM

I think I will decide who spreads the fertilizer and who lays the mulch. I shall test you both out and then assign duties.

Posted by: Violet Socks at May 11, 2006 3:58:00 PM

Don't you know that Polymory only works if the woman is the submissive.

Posted by: will at May 11, 2006 4:21:41 PM

Missionary's my favourite, actually :) Closely followed by doggy.

But I'm with you on fearing that anal entry would be painful -- sticking an experimental finger up my ass was painful, I'm not about to try it with anything larger.

Posted by: Sara at May 11, 2006 10:16:38 PM

Fourth, being the resident male slut is an easy title to obtain when the only other competition is young Alon.

...who isn't competing with you because he's not interested in girls older than 25.

Posted by: Alon Levy at May 12, 2006 12:47:36 AM

Maybe someone can answer me this: for people who engage in anal intercourse, either regularly or occasionally, is there or is there not some prep work? Typically in our popular descriptions of sexual intercourse (books, movies, TV), we assume but do not discuss real-life routines. For example, I don't think I've ever seen a fictional woman jump up to pee shortly after vaginal intercourse, and yet it's a real good idea, especially if the woman is even remotely prone to urinary tract infections.

Of course, if you put this (prompt peeage) into a fictional sex scene, it would become pertinent to the character, which is why we usually skip over it, just as we don't need to see the character walk out of the apartment, into the elevator, down the stairs to the garage, and unlock her car in order to understand she's left the apartment and is now driving in her car.

But real life: I know the anus isn't "dirty". But it is dirty. I mean, you'd want to discard that condom before resuming non-anal intercourse. So it's not shameful dirty, but it is contamination-possible dirty. So do folks typically use Fleet's enemas (I've heard reference to this in gay men's discussions), or other ways of preparing for anal intercourse? Is it just not discussed much because the mechanics interrupt the erotic narrative flow?

To refer to an archaic phrase, there's no such thing as a zipless fuck, except in imagination or memory. This is not a bad thing: that the fuck involves zippage or unzippage is not a real-life disappointment. It's just our human, corporeal reality. But to the extent that we regard the fantasy as normal, well, that raises the bar for our own normal human selves.

(This cover much more than anal sex, btw. I wonder if really young men are sometimes surprised to learn that normal women have pubic hair unless they purposefully remove it. The bar's getting raised, see.)

A gay man once mentioned that he couldn't understand why a woman would opt for anal intercourse; he said it's all about the prostate gland. I don't enjoy it (it's uncomfortable, not exciting for me), but y'all go ahead.

Posted by: larkspur at May 12, 2006 5:39:29 PM

A gay man once mentioned that he couldn't understand why a woman would opt for anal intercourse; he said it's all about the prostate gland.

I agree with him. I know anal intercourse can be enjoyable for men because of the prostate gland, but for me as a woman, that is a completely non-erogenous area. In fact, I'd be willing to say that the poop-chute is just about the least erogenous zone of my entire body. Of course if people like anal sex they're welcome to it, but to me it just makes no sense. There's this whole other opening right next door that's actually designed for fucking and feels really good...

Posted by: Violet Socks at May 12, 2006 10:15:22 PM

VS:

I am with you on this one. I just dont understand it, unless the thrill is just the naughtiness of it. Granted, I havent tried it so I cannot speak from experience.

Posted by: will at May 13, 2006 7:38:32 AM

It's clear that the article was written to provide a man with information to help a reluctant woman to have anal sex with him.

What, and no one has a problem with that? A couple hints:
1. You are not entitled to stick things anywhere she doesn't want you to.
2. She is probably tired of being nagged about it already.

Posted by: stfu at May 13, 2006 12:24:45 PM

we KNOW. christ. speaking of being tired of being nagged about "it" already. he's very possibly a choad. we're not talking about him. people here are talking about what *they* actually like to do. for once.

personally i actually have found anal penetration more pleasurable than vaginal, at least to a point: more nerves around the entryway. ymmv and frequently does.

Posted by: belledame222 at May 14, 2006 10:36:41 PM

per enemas: advice varies. personally I'm of the school that says a good thorough scrub should be enough, especially if you're probably not thinking of really heavy/deep play.

if y'are going to do the enema thing, you might want to wait a couple of hours before actually playing. sometimes...well. sometimes it tends to actually make things messier.

per contamination: well, for one thing, you don't put anything that's just been in the anus into the vagina, at least not without a fresh condom/covering. bacteria nasty. as long as you're using protection, though, there's really no reason to be unduly gingerly.

(speaking of ginger--well, that's a whole 'nother subject. not one I can speak to personally, but...)

Posted by: belledame222 at May 14, 2006 10:47:01 PM

"(speaking of ginger--well, that's a whole 'nother subject. not one I can speak to personally, but...)"

You're talking about figging. It's inserting fresh ginger into the anus to enhance sexual pleasure. I think it tends to be done by gay men, but straight people can do it, too. A woman can also rub fresh ginger on her labia, clitoris, and the entrance to her vagina to enhance sexual pleasure. You'll feel a burning sensation, but it's pleasant. For some people, it can be too intense. I've tried rubbing ginger on myself, and it was very exciting, although a bit too intense.

Posted by: The Countess at May 15, 2006 5:34:18 AM

So that is what people mean when they ask whether you prefer Ginger or Mary Ann?

Posted by: will at May 15, 2006 7:54:33 AM

Wow, I got a boner just reading this whole post. My wife absolutely loves anal sex, I don't know how she does it, but she will actually have a squirting orgasm while doing it, I'm clueless. It feels good to me with one exception. She shaves that are and if it's got stubbles it hurts like all hell. She bought a dildo and tried it on me and once I got passed the gay stereotype BS, it actually feels great! No inhibitions here Countess! Just allot of fun between two lovers in their big ole' playground!

Posted by: Jim at May 15, 2006 3:18:31 PM

people here are talking about what *they* actually like to do. for once.

Well, some of us are. Others are just making up bullshit like in the Penthouse forum.

Posted by: Violet Socks at May 15, 2006 3:36:35 PM

I like to finger my own ass, then eat the shit off the end of my finger, then stick it in my partners nose and then fuck him in the ass and piss all over his face and then take a shit in his mouth.

Posted by: roger doger at May 17, 2006 11:44:24 AM

Someone is looking for a fuck-buddy. Nope, not going to find that here...

Posted by: The Countess at May 17, 2006 6:02:16 PM

I found out that my wife liked to have her anus rubbed while we were still engaged. Eight years later, we have just started having occaisional, gentle anal sex. She had some emotional trauma issues and related trust issues, so I spent years just getting her to feel safe with being touched there. Well lubed fingers and small toys are great for working up to sex. If I spent a lot of time touching and massaging her (half an hour to an hour) her anus would get a lot more sensitive to stimulation. Usually, by then there would be an excess of thick vaginal secretions or artificial lubricant to facilitate anal massage and play. Don't forget that it can be fun just to massage her anus with the head of your penis.
Eventually, we got to the point where I could push my penis just a fraction of an inch into her anus. The voluntary sphincter was the first milestone, and the involuntary sphincter was the second. Basically, I kneeled between her legs while she laid on her back, and she scooted onto me as much as was tolerable. She usually masturbated frantically during this, both to distract from the discomfort and to emphasize the pleasure. She's had her best orgasms like that.
Each session involved a little bit deeper penetration and a little bit of streching. Up until very recently (today) that stretching has resulted in soreness for a day or two. I don't know much about the natural size of the average anus, but it seems like most shold be able to accomadate a penis with a little (or a lot) of preparation. The biggest reason why my wife would do as much as she dared was because she knew I would stop if it hurt her or if she told me to stop, even on the verge of orgasm.

Posted by: A Patient Fellow at May 19, 2006 7:34:48 AM

I like both giving anal to my lady lover (in addition to "PIV").
But I also like her using a strap-on, on me, for variety.
It really turns me on to see her on top of me, spreading my legs
and buttcheeks open and really nailing my ass (with adequate lube, of course).
Best regards.

Posted by: dave at May 24, 2006 7:57:15 AM

Anal sex is best if approached slowly. There are small anal sex toys that gradually get a pratner used to the sensation, even Anal Beginners Kits. Always use lots of sexual lubricant. New thicker anal lubes are now available too.

Posted by: Anal Sex Toys at May 25, 2006 4:59:31 PM

I'm pretty much a new inductee into the pleasures of anal. I enjoy fingering myself, but my lover and I are truly going to have to work to get more than his fingers up me. First I'm going to have to break him of the habit of thrusting his fingers quickly. It's great as an extra during vaginal sex, but usually gets me to the sore point pretty quickly. To handle more girth, I need less thrusting and more gentle stretching. Unfortunately, usually by that stage we're at monosylables. ;-P
Great sex, but more advance planning necessary.
Y'know just a FYI for other people who may think that it's all about the thrusting motion.

Posted by: DD at May 29, 2006 2:44:48 AM

Like a few of the other poster's here I'm a fan of anal too.

I've had anal with two of my previous girlfriends - both of them enjoying as much- if not more than me. My relationship with my most recent girlfriend was also longest relationship to date, and I think that as we became more comfortable with each other anal, and sex in generaly only got better!

As DD mentioned a little prior "stretching" can help - as will a *GOOD* quality lube - we found Pjur to be the best - white bottle - about $30 AUD for 100ml. Dearer than many - the best I've ever come across!

Our fave way to start off was spooning, and she would ease my cock into her ass at her pace, after having lubed herself up, and either her or me lubing my cock up. She would set the pace until she'd get to the point where she could ride me as hard with her ass as she could with her pussy.

We'd discussed it numerous times and she said that there was always a little initial discomfort, however as she relaxed, it only got better - and with each successive session of anal sex - it just got better. She enjoyed it to the point where she would have some of her most amazing orgasms from anal - usually laying face down, rubbing her clit with her fingers, and me laying on top of her. Another variant of this is to use a vibrator or dildo for double penetration.

So going slow, *GOOD* lube, and maybe some practice/foreplay with finger/s and/or a smaller dildo or vibrator. And guys - also consider the idea of letting her tickle your prostate... Especially if she's giving you a blow job at the same time.

Have fun people! :oD

Posted by: OzzyAl at May 30, 2006 2:14:45 AM

I had been having anal sex with my long time boyfriend. It's not a regular thing, but maybe we do it once a month, just for variey, and must I admit to make my boyfriend very happy, it's no my
favorite thing to do, but with the right stimulation, clit
area during anal sex, it can be good. My favorite position for doing this
is on my side,it's not painfull that way, and the extra
stimulation makes it feel good, specially when I have an orgasm.
Of course KY is a must during anal play.
Sometimes it has been painfull, but must of the time it's just
a feeling of fullness.

Posted by: I.H.T. at May 31, 2006 1:15:30 AM

I never enjoyed anal directly, though I did find pleasure in the fact the my partner enjoyed himself. Nevertheless, I usually didn't let him do it, because I got absolutely nothing out of it. It just felt like I needed to poo really, really, really badly...

That, and it really bothered me he'd keep pushing. As with oral, the more he nagged when I wasn't interested, the more opposed I'd be - I don't appreciate selfish jerks much.

I dream of the day when I can find a man who enjoys vaginal sex as much as I do - more than any other sex I've had (and I have had a lot).

Apparently, I'm also highly unusual in that I greatly prefer missionary position to any other, though spooning is really nice (mostly with current partner), too.

Posted by: C at Jun 18, 2006 4:59:40 PM

Women who prefer sex from behind tend to also prefer anal sex because it puts pressure on the same wall of the vagina (duh!). GOing slow and using lubrication makes anal sex a lot less scary at first. Also, remember that a man should never change from anal to vaginal without santizing his penis afterward. Ladies, protect the pH of your vagina if you don't want yeast infections or just in general protect yourself from other infections. The bacteria living "back there" are different from those living within the vagina (Even if each is natural for its normal area of residence). Lastly, my partner is not circumcised which makes for penetration without friction and makes anal sex more comfortable and far less scary. Just something to keep in mind-- why do we circumcise anyway?

Posted by: kat at Jun 21, 2006 4:59:18 PM

I have dated many women who really enjoyed anal sex. My current girlfriend LOVES it and we usually finish our lovemaking sessions that way. I don't think any of them actually preferred it to vaginal sex, but many definitely liked it as well and some seemed to have much easier and more powerful orgasms anally. I think that a woman must be very aroused to really enjoy anal. I ALWAYS wait until she has atleast one orgasm either vaginally, orally or both...:-) These orgasms usually produce sufficient natural lubrication to make artificial lubricants unnecessary, especially if one uses their fingers before their penis. Try gently inserting your finger into your lover's anus during oral sex. This often increases the intensity of her pleasure and relaxes and lubricated the anus in preparation for something more substantial. The key to the whole thing is to let he become arounsed and relaxed first. One of my favorite positions is to position her at the edge of the bed on her back. This position allows me to massage her clit during intercourse or to use a vibrator, the allows easy anal entry after she cums at least once from that. My girlfriend, as have past lovers, has screaming orgasms from anal sex in this position while she or I use a vibrator on her clit. Try it!

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Posted by: Randy at Jun 26, 2006 4:48:22 PM

i engaged some occasional anal doggy style sex with my lover who gently fingers my clit to make it less rude when 3 weeks ago he ask me to be on top for some fantasy and then sudently and without hands i had a fantastic orgasm within 5 minutes-my god!!
since that time i repeated it regularly and came the same sitting on my man my ha,ds on his knees and reaching the back of my cervix with his cock ; i cant understand how it works since i am usually a basic clitoridian; could someone explain- thks-fernanda

Posted by: fernanda at Jul 5, 2006 10:51:20 AM

I was in a relationship for about two years with a woman who liked anal sex very much. Missionary position worked really well, and she was able to have multi-orgasms that way. According to her, it hit her G-spot. The stereotypical doggie-style position wasn't nearly as good; her ex-husband liked that position exclusively so she didn't know how much she liked anal until we started dating.

After trying a few different ones we found olive oil to be the best lube for us. (It can't be used with latex condoms of course.) Water-based lubes got too sticky and wore out. We sometimes would use her juices alone, if she was especially wet; that was nice. If anything hurt we always would stop.

I think she did things to clean herself out before we had anal though I never really asked too much. I never noticed anything on me when I would pull out. I always washed afterward very carefully.

For the giver the turn-on is mostly mental, anal sex in missionary position is really a lot like vaginal sex. The opening is a little tighter but the inner parts are looser. We went through spells with it, sometimes we had it every time we had sex, other times we did it once a month. It can be annoying to deal with the cleanup and stuff but it can be really hot and really intimate too.

About half of the women I've dated have been open to anal. I never push though I don't hide my interest either. My ex-wife didn't like it much, we had it a few times but it wasn't her thing. I was a little frustrated but that's life. Everyone should try it a few times, give it a real shot, but no one should feel like they have to keep doing it if it doesn't work for them.

Posted by: Mink at Jul 6, 2006 10:17:23 PM

what is the best way to stick a finger into a womans ass

Posted by: george at Aug 8, 2006 1:44:34 PM

Gently and with consent?

Little finger always worked for me...

Posted by: Just sayin' at Aug 13, 2006 4:54:47 PM

The prostate can be stimulated by anal penetration. I used to do this to myself while masturbating and after getting good at it, I was able to achieve a "p-spot" orgasm, the male equivalent to a g-spot orgasm. Now comes the mind-blowing part: if you are patient and work on your timing, a man can have a p-spot and a regular orgasm at the same time -- a simultaneous orgasm with yourself! My wife has been able to do this to me by working a vibrating dildo up my ass at the same time she sucks my cock. Words fail to describe how good this feels. Is anyone else into this?

Posted by: Ben Dover at Oct 1, 2006 5:55:43 PM

I really enjoy anal because it requires more comfort/care/intimacy between partners than vaginal. Enema not necessary, just make sure you recently "went" and wash well. Lubricant, with anal of course, but it can become addictive, now my girlfriend usually asks me to use lubricant during fingering/cunninglingus as well. Also, switching between anal and vaginal is in my experience not a problem for some women. Just wash off after sex. Finally, for beginners of anal sex, what women have found most comfortable in my experience is a position where the torso is straight above the body - either standing with rear entry or on knees with rear entry torsos straight and touching. This last position is great because you can still kiss eachother and it allows the penetrating partner to finger the vagina while sliding deep and comfortably into her ass.

Posted by: Joe at Oct 26, 2006 12:45:18 PM

Ive always wanted anal with wife when we were younger she let me me once it was lovely.Want her again now but she wont because of piles is there an easy way for her

Posted by: Steve at Dec 27, 2006 9:56:58 AM

My wife and I love anal sex. We've been married for 17 years, 14 of those we've practiced anal sex, almost exclusively. She loves it even more than I do, which is saying a lot. Although she does have orgasms during vaginal sex, they are not as intense or satisfying for her. We've been without vaginal sex for more than six months now, while practicing anal about five times a week. About 50% of the time we have straight anal sex, the other 50% of the time she uses a dildo or vibrator on her vagina.

As we are a clean, monogamous couple, we've never used condoms and have not experienced any problems as a result.

Posted by: Bill at Mar 3, 2007 7:01:29 PM

A couple of comments... First, most sexual response is conditioned or learned. This
begins when we first touch our genitals as a child. Exploration results in finding new
areas or new ways to bring orgasm. We learn what feels good and respond by repeating
the act. Second, the brain is the largest sex organ. Without erotic thought, orgasm is
difficult, impossible, or unfulfilling. Try having sex before a tax audit!

Unfortunately, most of us were raised with the Puritan standards that everything "down
there" was private, dirty and untouchable. Allowing another person to first see and touch us
there is the source of intense anxiety and tremendous pleasure. After repeated pleasure,
the brain "learns" that certain acts are indeed, ok. Anal play, however it is done, is
also a conditioned response. The thought that the anus should not be used for sexual
pleasure must be eliminated before pleasure can be experienced. This is what can take
some time, this is where very gradual exposure to touch sensations should be used.

As for full penetration anal sex, if a woman has come that far and enjoys it, fine. For
a man, almost any moist, warm, tight fitting sleeve can bring an orgasm, one not too much
different than another. For the woman, anal pleasure can be derived from simply having an
previously inserted object (non-painful) in the anus at the time of climax. The sphincter muscles
there are very much involved in an orgasmic response, and simply feeling an object there
can intensify the orgasm. Progressively, the object can be manipulated during orgasm, also
increasing the ogasmic pleasure.

So, I think the right way to look at anal play or sex is to simply include it the overall
broad landscape of sexual experience and preference. There is no sexual activity off limits
between consenting adults.

Posted by: GrandPaBobby at Mar 23, 2007 12:27:54 PM

By the time you need to access a check-list of "counter-arguements" like "it doesn't hurt" and "it isn't unhealthy" you are clearly well down the road to trying to get someone to do something they don't want to do. Makes no odds if it's eating ice cream - if she doesn't want to do it she doesn't want to do it. In which case f*ck off.

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Posted by: Petrushkaukrop at Aug 6, 2007 12:46:43 PM

Posted by: at Sep 7, 2007 2:35:34 PM

Posted by: at Sep 7, 2007 2:35:44 PM

Posted by: at Sep 8, 2007 8:27:07 AM

Posted by: at Sep 8, 2007 2:23:23 PM

To keep it from being too painful you just have to start small and start slow. AND USE LOTS OF LUBE. If you use enough lube, as long as you start off slow... you'll be fucking yourself (or partner) like a pornstar by the end of the night.

Posted by: Gerald at Sep 8, 2007 3:46:10 PM

Posted by: at Sep 11, 2007 3:10:22 AM

I'm a 27 year old male lucky enough to have had anal sex with multiple female partners. I love it, its amazing, and I couldn't imagine a long term relationship without anal play in the bedroom. Every woman I've ever had anal sex with has had completely different feelings regarding it which can make things very confusing for a man when trying to gauge a suitable mate.
When I was younger my girlfriend prompted me to finger her asshole one night when we were fooling around. She kinda enjoyed it. She did like me to rub her asshole while i performed oral on her though. It took two years of prodding and asking before she let me put it in her butt one drunken night. she only kinda liked it again, and we did it infrequently.
one "friend with benefits" i had in college let me fuck her ass only if i overly complimented her on how great of an ass she had. She was cute but had really low self-esteem and overly obvious (more obvious than most women,no offense) daddy issues. It was never hard to talk her into anal but i could never tell if she enjoyed it but she took it pretty hard and fast.
one later girlfriend let me really go deep and gave it up a few times without complaint only prefacing each time that we could do it if doesn't hurt. She would lay flat on her stomach with a pillow under her waist to raise up her butt (she had a phenomenal butt), I would finger her hole with a lubed finger and then gently ease my lubed cock in. She could take it all the way and could let me work up a pretty good rythym. Then one day after a left a rather large load deep in her butt that she couldn't immediately get out she went off on me. Basically she let me know that she didn't particularly like it, but she really let me have it. Made me feel weird, and ashamed that i enjoyed anal sex...she really let on a verbal spanking. I know any women that read this will think, "Hey, she's the one taking it in the ass, she can sya what she wants." First of all, up until this point i didn't know she hated it. Secondly we never recoved from the way she made me feel, sexually ashamed, and a three year relationship ended as a result.
I had anal on a one night stand once. Both of us had way to much to drink and the irresponsibility that followed i do not condone, (although great fun). It was my cousin's wedding and i ended up hooking up with a bride's maid. we go back to her room, extremely drunk. she begins to blow me on the balcony. very sloppy drunk blowjob. we move to floor of her room. I'm fingering her...we start the drunken foreplay talk of "oh, baby i wanna fuck you so bad." That's when we realize that no one has a condom. Before i can even make a drunken promise to pull out way early, she blurts out I want you to fuck my ass! I can only reply, Yeah? Before she says yes, she's on all fours and i have a finger only lubricated with saliva up her butt. She then says, "is that only one finger, put two in there." (i kid you not, i swear this isn't a penthouse forum thing) I oblige and am extremely excited, but should be extremely apprehensive that I'm about to anally fuck a girl i just met without a condom. Of course i do it though. judge all you want, but 99.9% of men, drunk in the moment, and with marhcing orders to fuck a girl in the ass would do exactly what i did. Plus my thoughts were that she was close enough my cousin (who is a clean, decent, respectable school tecaher) to be her bridesmaid and an elementary school teacher...then she's probably clean. Anyway, I slide my umlubricated cock in her ass as quick as i can and begin pumping away doggy. i was pounding with no remorse for two hours. it took forever to even come close to climax. she was bucking a yelling for more...harder, faster, deeper. she let me pull it out and stick it back in. we moved to missionary and she put her legs in the air and parted her butt for me. i kept going but was so drunk i could not cum...when she did the unthinkable. she turned around (we're back to doggy on the floor) and put my cock in her mouth. never before and never again had i gotten the ass to mouth. Ladies, I would never ask for this, nor do i believe any man should expect it. I've seen it in porno, which is fine for porn stars who get paid and do enemas before those scenes but i would never expect a women to do this for me. Thst being said it was one of the most amazing sexual gestures and as a result the memory of that one night stand will last forever. Best part..she let me come in her mouth and from what i could tell she swallowed it (at least i'm gonna go on believing that). In hindsight I took the biggest sexual risk of my life but in the end I had one the dirtiest and pleasurable pure sexual experiences...so i guess it works out.
So in closing it seems that every women has her own take on anal sex. I find it strange that as anatomically similiar creatures (i know all people are different), women can vary so much on how anal penetration feels to them.
That wasn't supposed to be so long but i got hard writing it and remembering the the lovely asses i've fucked and the wonderful women who let me fuck me them. If you enjoyed reading this, are a women between the ages of 20 and 40, and would like to exchange emails, im's, pics, (not necessarily erotic) email me at whalersin09@yahoo.com.

Posted by: Hartford guy at Feb 22, 2008 8:25:50 AM

I got carried away with the nostalgia in that way and didn't fully answer the question to the post sorry. Last post probably too self indulgent. Anyway speaking from the male perspective any position for anal sex is fine by me. However, from reactions from partners the easiest way to try anal for the first time or if you've had difficulty in the past is the lying on your side/spooning method. I've found that if you have a chair that's the right height...a barstool, adjustable chair, even office chair that lowers and raises...you can have the female staddle it facing away from the man and have the man eneter the anus from behind while standing...great for both partners.

Posted by: Hartford guy at Feb 22, 2008 8:34:23 AM

I wonder about this: what kind of special preparation does a woman need to do, when she indulges into anal sex? How many enemas does she have to apply to make her anus as clean as her vagina? I think that one disgusting experience will make the male partner regret it for ever and remove this part of the couple's sexual life from their routines. Which would be a shame!!! Explain us please what a woman needs to do to be prepared for anal sex without the so called shit effect.

Posted by: fernando ferreira at May 10, 2008 9:18:32 PM

hey, well i thought id just start off by dampening down women's fears about anal sex. My long time partner and I had had vaginal intercourse for about a year; Like many couples have and are still doing. However, one night my partner and I were talking about different thing she and I would like to try. She says to me that she isnt sure but some of her friends have said anal sex is amazing; but then on the other hand, some had not enjoyed it. Now i hadn't participated in anal sex before so we decided to look on the internet for a forum similar to this. We read through a few of the articles and they all said "if well lubed and slow, then anal sex can be highly stimulating". Many of the women said that the had ejactulated far more eroused and pleased than during vaginal intercourse. With this in mind and my partner far more reasured about anal, we went away and proceded with what was planned that day. Later on that night, we were undertaking vaginal intercourse and my partner stopped. I asked her if something was wrong and she asked me if i wanted to try anal. I replied with "I dont mind at all huni, as long as your ok to try it and you would like to then I will". she replied with yes. Now i didnt have any lube but for that time we just made sure it was nice and wet and used some vaginal fluids to lube it up. This isnt really advisable but it worked. To start with, i gently fingered her anus, which widened her. after a while she said "try two fingers". As she said, I inserted two fingers, constantly using vaginal fluids to lube her anus. After about 5 minutes she said "try it?" and i replied "if you are ready" and so we did. A tip to any man, insert your penis very slowly and when you feel it 'pop' in then stop untill you carry on. she said like the others, that it was the best ejaculation she had expierienced.

Posted by: itsme103 at Jun 8, 2008 5:42:15 AM

wow

Posted by: Gill at Jun 13, 2008 10:57:29 PM

my wife loves it in her ass, it takes a little time an alot of lube.
An as far as size goes I'm above avrage to say the least but she can't
Get enoufe she likes me to start out slow thean she's screaming for me
To pownd her harder an harder an she will acualy cum without vaginal
stimulation. So if anyone wants to try it an are a little scared about it
just start out slow an see what happens

Posted by: Jeff at Sep 23, 2008 9:51:10 AM

my bf's been asking to have anal sex, dont really have anything against it per say. makes me feel sick to think about it tho. we havent been together long and the fact that hes asking makes me think hes bored. dont really even want to sleep w him anymore.

Posted by: rose at Oct 22, 2008 12:56:28 PM

I love anything anal... Anyone interested in taking their ASSES to the next level should read, the Guide to anal stretching as it really can help you take huge things up the pooper in no time. The guy whom wrote it has a sex technique blog at TheNastyStallion's Chamber of Sexual Technique so be sure to check it out. Hell, if it's anything to do with Anal, you should probably link to his page.

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Posted by: Issuesoks at Feb 19, 2009 3:20:50 AM

Anal sex is definitely one of those things that can really depend on the circumstances, as well as the partner you are with at the time. It is something that I would not share with just anyone, because comfort and the ability to relax is so key to the enjoyment of the activity. Find a partner you feel trust in.

Posted by: Anal Sex Rep - BetterSex.com at May 7, 2009 6:18:09 AM

You're right, Anal Sex Rep. Anal sex isn't for everyone, but with a good lube it can be very enjoyable. A finger up the bum feels very good, too.

Posted by: The Countess at May 7, 2009 12:02:16 PM

Anal sex is like marmite - you either love it or hate it.

Posted by: sklen at May 16, 2009 10:20:19 AM

Not all are into this kind of sex. Others might find it inappropriate.

Posted by: sex toys at Jan 25, 2011 1:01:14 AM

Yeah, anal sex isn't just for homosexuals. I think this adds that extra spark to love-making. These myths are, indeed, mere assumptions. I think this type of intercourse is worth a try for every couple.

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Posted by: sex shop at Mar 13, 2012 11:02:00 AM

Anal sex definitely isn't just for gay men. A lot of men seem to be obsessed with anal sex and butts in general. Maybe they enjoy a tighter fit?

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