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April 29, 2006

I Have Added A New Category - Sexuality

I've added a new category to my blog - sexuality. I've just updated my blog to place the right posts in that category. Enjoy!

Posted on April 29, 2006 at 09:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

More Women Using Sex Toys

This study called "The Health Benefits of Sexual Aids & Devices: A Comprehensive Study of their Relationship to Satisfaction and Quality of Life" by the Berman Institute didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. The study found that more women today are using sexual aids like sex toys to enhance their pleasure. The research has been around since 2004, when it was revealed at the second annual Women's Sexual Health Staet-Of-The-Art Series conference in conjunction with the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine.

The following was listed as the purpose of the research:

* to produce an academic study in an underreported and emerging area of interest in women's sexuality,

* to determine the instance of use of sexual aids and devices,

* to identify women's attitudes toward such aids and devices and their role in overall health and well-being.

Here are some of the study's findings:

...approximately 75 percent of women purchase sexual aids and devices at specialty stores, although an increasing number of women are opting for the privacy and safety offered by Web-based stores.
The study found that top reasons women purchase sensual products online were:

* Anonymity - 80 percent (of respondents)
* Convenience - 75 percent Less
* Embarrassing - 71 percent
* Ability to Take One's Time - 64 percent Larger
* Selection - 42 percent

I have a couple of sex toys that I like very much. One is a rabbit pearl vibrator, which I like to use all the time. I have another one that is inserted into the vagina. It's best to use that one with a condom so that you don't pull the cord out. I bought some Kama Sutra massage cream for The Count for Valentine's Day, and it's very nice. It smells like mint and menthol.

Dr. Laura Berman, who is director of the Berman Center in Chicago, says that many women don't know what kind of sexual aid and device is right for them. Many women also don't know where to find them or how to use them. One great place in Chicago to find sexual aids and devices is The Honeysuckle Shop, own by blogger Flea from One Good Thing. There are lots of web site that sell sex toys in case you don't find what you're looking for at The Honeysuckle Shop, but Flea is sure you have what you need.

Posted on April 29, 2006 at 09:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Is Polyamory For You?

Some of my commenters were very interested in learning more about polyamory. Here is the wikipedia definition:

"Polyamory, in its broadest usage, is the practice or lifestyle of being open to having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. Persons who consider themselves emotionally suited to such relationships may define themselves as polyamorous or polysexual (a blanket term), often abbreviated to poly."

I'd take issue with polyamory being a lifestyle, since poly people don't see it as a lifestyle. It's merely "loving more than one". The main characteristic of the relationships is that there is open communication between all the parties as well as the partners of the parties involved. The main credo of polyamory is "Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!" Secrecy is frowned upon, and I agree with that.

I became interested in poly as I investigated it for my article. The Count and I briefly looked into it, but decided against it because we prefer to be monogamous. I don't see how I could handle being poly because of the juggling involved. I would need a dayplanner to keep up with loving two or more people. If I were to be poly, I'd prefer two partners in addition to The Count, and that would be it. I couldn't handle more than that. In the end, I have decided to remain monogamous.

Here is more from wikipedia:

Forms of polyamory

Forms of polyamory include:

* Polyfidelity, which involves multiple romantic relationships with sexual contact restricted to specific partners in a group.

* Sub-relationships, which distinguish between "primary" and "secondary" relationships (e.g. most open marriages).

* Polygamy (polygyny and polyandry), in which one person marries several spouses (who may or may not be married to or have a romantic relationship with one another).

* Group relationships and group marriage, in which all consider themselves associated to one another, popularized to some extent by Robert A. Heinlein (in novels such as Stranger in a Strange Land and The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress), by Robert Rimmer and also by the author Starhawk in her books The Fifth Sacred Thing (1993) and Walking to Mercury (1997).

* Networks of interconnecting relationships, where a particular person may have relationships of varying degrees of importance with various people.

* Mono/poly relationships where one partner is monogamous but agrees to the other having outside relationships.

* So-called "geometric" arrangements, which are described by the number of people involved and their relationship connections. Examples include "triads" and "quads", along with "V" and "N" geometries. The connecting member of a V relationship is sometimes referred to as a "hinge" or "pivot", and the partners thereby indirectly connected are referred to as the "arms". The arm partners are not as closely bonded to each other as each arm partner is to the pivot. This can be contrasted with a "triangle", in which all partners are directly connected and all are bonded to each other with comparable strength. A triad could be either a V or a triangle.

Some people in sexually exclusive relationships may still self-describe as polyamorous, if they have significant emotional ties to more than one other person. Additionally, people who self-describe as polyamorous may accept monogamous relationships with specific partners, either because this is the negotiated agreement, or because with that partner monogamy feels "right" (whereas for a different partner perhaps it would not be needed).

"Open relationships"

Open relationship denotes a relationship (usually between two people) in which participants are free to take other partners; where the couple making this agreement are married, it is an open marriage. "Open relationship" and "polyamorous" are not identical terms. Broadly, "open" usually refers to the sexual aspect of a non-closed relationship, whereas polyamory involves the extension of a relationship by allowing bonds to form (which may be sexual or otherwise) as additional long term relationships:

* Some relationships place strict restrictions on partners (e.g. polyfidelity); such relationships are polyamorous, but not open.

* Some relationships permit sex outside the primary relationship, but not love (cf swinging); such relationships are open, but not polyamorous.

* Some polyamorists do not accept the dichotomies of "in a relationship/not in a relationship" and "partners/not partners"; without these divisions, it is meaningless to class a relationship as "open" and "closed".

* Some polyamorists consider "polyamory" to be their philosophical orientation -- they believe themselves capable and desirous of multiple loves -- whereas "open relationship" is used as a logistical description: that is, it is how their polyamory is expressed or implemented. They would say of themselves, for instance, "I am polyamorous; my primary partner and I have an open relationship (with the following ground rules)..."

Several other forms of nonmonogamous (not necessarily polyamorous) relationship are listed at poly relationship.

Posted on April 29, 2006 at 08:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)

Song on "CSI: NY"

I know that fans of "CSI: NY" are going to want to know what song played at the end of last Wednesday's episode. A fan had already identified it in comments.

It was "Sampson", by Regina Spektor.

I liked the song so much that I found out what it was immediately. I also kept the episode on our DVR, and played it over and over again. I'm going to buy the CD soon.

Speaking of songs, if anyone wants to know the name of the song that was the theme song for "Kingdom Hospital", which recently played on the Sci Fi channel, it was "Worry About You", by Ivy. The song is on her "Long Distance" CD. I thought the mini-series was okay, but not as good as the original. The original is a Danish/Swedish television show called "The Kingdom". It's really bent. One reviewer described as "ER on acid", and that reviewer was right. I have both parts 1 and 2.

Posted on April 29, 2006 at 07:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

April 28, 2006

Writing Update

I've just finished quite a bit of writing, and I wanted to let everyone know what I've been up to.

I just finished an article about polyamory for a magazine. Polyamory means "loving more than one". It's when people have multiple relationships with the full knowledge and consent of all the parties involved. Communication is very important in polyamory. It's an interesting topic, and I was happy to have an opportunity to write about it. The Count and I briefly looked at polyamory to see if it was for us, but in the end we decided it wasn't. Too much confusion and too much juggling, as far as we are concerned. Plus, we want to be devoted to each other. Sounds good to me.

I have written an article about several excellent motorcycle movies for a motorcycle magazine. The movies I covered are "Electra Glide In Blue", "Girl On A Motorcycle", "The Wild One", "Easy Rider", and "Knightriders". I had a blast writing that article. The research was fun. Sit around and watch classic movies. Can't beat that with a stick.

I wrote an article discussing some of the sexiest movies out there. I included movies that have some famous sex scenes. Some examples are "Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!", "Sirens", "Bound", and "Gabriela".

I'm in the midst of writing an article about sex being about much more than just intercourse. I've included a section about Tantra. I found a well-known Tantra practitioner who travels and gives workshops. The Count and I are interested in taking a couples workshop for fun, but the cost is a bit too high for us. This practitioner is coming to Boston at the end of next month, and we might go for a free introduction. I'm going to interview the practitioner about Tantra for the article. I've seen many conflicting views about exactly what Tantra is, and I'd like to learn more.

I found another erotica magazine in the U. K. for which I'd like to write both erotic fiction and nonfiction about sexuality and relationships. I like that magazine very much. It reminds me a bit of "People" magazine. I already write erotic fiction for Scarlet. This will be the second magazine in the U. K. They must like me in the U. K. I've really hit it off with the editors of both magazines.

I'm reading two books by Dr. Helen Fisher about the biology of love. I plan to write an article about that topic, but I don't know which magazine will get it yet.

Next week, I start training to write for a local business magazine. I will interview COOs about their companies for a company profile that I will write for the magazine. This one sounds like a lot of fun.

I've sent chapters of both of my novels to two different publishers. I hope one likes what I have written. I probably won't hear anything about this for a couple of months.

Suffice to say I've been busy. I'm enjoying my new career as a freelance writer about sexuality, relationships, and erotica very much. Plus, I'll get paid for my writing, which is a good thing in my book.

Posted on April 28, 2006 at 11:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

April 26, 2006

I've Been Busy Writing

I have many freelance writing gigs now. I just sent an article to a magazine in the U. K. The article is about sexy scenes in movies. I'm preparing another article about how sex is about much more than just intercourse for the same magazine. I'm preparing to interview a practitioner of Tantra for some quotes for that article. Aside of those quotes, the article is finished.

I sent my article about motorcycle movies to Street Throttle Magazine. I hope to hear from them soon.

I also sent a synopsis of my first novel to a publisher I discovered yesterday. I hope the publisher is interested enough in my novel to read it, and possibly represent me. I'm waiting to hear from Tor regarding my second novel. Tor has a division devoted to paranormal erotic romance, and I sent my manuscript there.

I've been very busy with my writing. I have decided to stop working so much on family law issues because my new writing gigs are taking off very well. When I see information about family law worth posting, I'll post it. I just posted to let everyone know that shared parenting has failed in New York. I'm glad that it failed. Shared parenting laws don't take children's needs into consideration. They are a means for those who support them to get lower child support orders, amongst other things. I thought the news about the failure of the shared parenting bill was good enough to post about.

Well, back to my writing. I have lots of writing to do.

Posted on April 26, 2006 at 01:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Shared Parenting Fails In New York

Fathers' rights activists are upset that the shared parenting bill they had heavily lobbied for in New York has failed. The legislators who voted against it rightly said that it placed the wishes of parents over the welfare of children. I had helped to defeat this bill by sending information about shared parenting (better known as joint physical custody) to New York women's groups. This bill will likely be re-introduced next year. It has been introduced in the New York legislature for many years, and it has always failed. New York did the right thing by rejecting it yet another time.

Posted on April 26, 2006 at 01:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)

April 16, 2006

Some Major Changes For My Blog

Hello, everyone. I know I haven't posted here in a couple of weeks. I'd be surprised if anyone is still reading my blog.

I've been thinking about making some major changes to my blog over the past couple of months. I had decided in 2005 that I was going to severely scale down my blogging after the Koufax Awards were final. Well, those awards have passed, and I have made some changes.

I am not going to be writing on my blog as much as I used to. I've recently started a new job writing for a business magazine. I've also been invited onto the staff of two other magazines, one a men's magazine written by women (it's brand new), and the other an erotica magazine. I will continue to write for Scarlet Magazine. Scarlet likes my erotic short stories.

I have been so busy with my many writing projects that I've decided that I won't update my blog nearly as often as I used to. I'm moving away from the family law/child custody work I used to do. I started my blog primarily as a means of getting information out about family issues, divorce, custody, child support, and the fathers' rights movement. I still serve on several family law-related groups, and I will continue to do that. I've switched to a new field now, and I'm concentrating on it. I haven't even had time to keep up with the blogs I normally read lately. I still enjoy reading blogs. I usually lurk and don't comment, but I do try to comment when I have something to say.

So, I just wanted everyone to know that I am still here, but I won't be posting nearly as often as I used to. I'm going to be busy writing articles and short stories for paid publications. I'm enjoying my new line of work very much. I must admit that writing about sex is much less aggravating than writing about family law. I have even written an article for a motorcycle magazine. I talked about some famous motorcycle movies. I handed in that article on Friday. If it's accepted, and I'm sure it will be, I will pitch another article to that magazine about famous people who rode motorcycles. Lawrence of Arabia was one. He died while riding his motorcycle.

I'm happy that I've started my blog, and I'm very happy that I've been nominated for a few awards. I was even a finalist in the Koufax Awards for the past two years. I didn't make the finals this time around. I'll post on occasion, but for the most part I'll be busy with my new career. I'm very excited about it.

Cheers, everyone!!


Posted on April 16, 2006 at 10:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (24)

April 10, 2006

Today is Our Anniversary!

I just wanted to tell you all that today marks our 13th Anniversary together.

Happy Anniversary Sweetie!!!

The Count

Posted on April 10, 2006 at 02:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (14)