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October 20, 2005

Still More On "Breaking The Silence: Children's Stories"

Here is an excellent article on the documentary, "Breaking The Silence: Children's Stories". It's called Caught in the middle: Documentary shows how kids can be pawns in abuse, custody cases. Angry fathers' rights activists have been dive-bombing PBS and the media to prevent this documentary from airing. I have been writing to PBS, and it isn't going to cave under the pressure. PBS is airing the documentary. Fathers' rights groups and activists outnumber the protective moms who need for this documentary to air. These men have the time to write angry protest letters and make angry phone calls that the moms don't have to time or energy to handle. These moms are too busy trying to raise their families and fend off the control tactics of these abusive dads who fight for custody.

"Breaking The Silence" outs fathers' rights custody tactics for the abusive behavior that it is, in particular the use of bogus syndromes like Parental Alienation Syndrome. PAS is used to by abusers and the courts to take abused children from the mothers who are protecting them, and giving them to their abusive fathers. Professionals who make their living from these kinds of cases don't want this documentary to air, because airing the truth about these ugly contested custody cases will put a big hole in their pockets.

Posted on October 20, 2005 at 08:39 PM | Permalink

Comments

http://www.courageouskids.net/pas.htm

Posted by: listen to the kids at Nov 3, 2005 8:23:32 PM

Emotional abuse scars as deep as any violation against a child's personhood. When a parent teaches his daughter hatred, especially hatred of her mother, he is simply conditioning her to hate herself enough to be controlled by him.

However, his degradation of her being erases her identity, and her raison d'etre becomes subordinating herself to the power of another... hating herself and her womanhood.

How very, very sad.

Posted by: jen Peters at Nov 12, 2005 6:16:41 PM

"Fathers' rights groups and activists outnumber the protective moms who need for this documentary to air. These men have the time to write angry protest letters and make angry phone calls that the moms don't have to time or energy to handle. These moms are too busy trying to raise their families and fend off the control tactics of these abusive dads who fight for custody."

Someone should start organizing a contact phone tree or email tree in the future, for these sorts of situations...

It was a little unnerving to see that MRAs got 1,500 hundred emails and calls to PBS within a two-day time period. It was lucky PBS didn't cave into that pressure...

Women might not be so lucky next time...

Meanwhile, I have had a petition up about changing how NY handles child support for months now and only have 61 signatures...I'm struggling to get 100 before we send it...

Anyway, women HAVE to be able to organize on these issues quickly, the way men do....

Even if women are raising their families, they need to make the time.

For instance, I actually read that many meetings regarding family court issues in New Hampshire and other places are totally dominated by fathers rights advocates in the audience.

So no wonder the courts are so friendly to them. They are only hearing their side of the story...

So this needs to stop...

Posted by: NYMOM at Nov 12, 2005 6:47:37 PM

I went to that courageous kids website and was very impressed.

First I recognized some names of women who are from another non-custodial mothers website that I post on. AND secondly because the very first post was from a girl name Emily looking for someone with the same problem she has, not being allowed to see her mother as much as she wanted.

She wanted to discuss how they handled it.

I was quite moved by the whole thing.

Posted by: NYMOM at Nov 12, 2005 6:56:19 PM

I left my husband of 9 years in April 2005 and took our 2 girls 3 and 5 and went back to Ohio where I have my family support after my husband choked and attacked me. I had to go to a hearing in Michigan a few weeks ago because I had a man's judge in Ohio (Jim Mason) and he ruled so unfairly even other attorneys came to my attorney and said that was wrong. Jim Mason Ignored the domestic violence that I had testified and my husband admitted some violence too and he told 2 members of my family and they testified and were ignored. When I was at the hearing they arrested me and put me in jail until my parents could post the bond money to get me out because my husband had filed kidnapping charges on me and I was not aware their was a warrent out for my arrest. I don't even litter and have been a stay at home mom and was thrown into jail. I have no faith in the judicial system anymore and am facing felony charges for trying to get myself and my kids out of an abusive situation. I have a hearing Jan 3rd in Michigan and need any exposure I can get from media or any other source. Please help me Michigan and my husband are trying to make my girls move back into the martial home in Michigan that we were only residents for 4 months, that would force me to Michigan also and he has filed paperwork that I cannot move back into the home (not that I would anyway)but I have no job and have not seen child support for 8 months and know nobody their. He sees the girls every other weekend and mentally abuses them and calls me all kinds of names and uses manipulating tatics and my oldest told me her dad hit her on the head their last visit. Please help us before something serious happens.

Posted by: Ohiomom at Dec 9, 2005 1:48:05 AM

I am seeking help for my sister. She lives in Woodford County, IL. Up until now, I had no idea there was a name (PAS) describing custody battles alienating victims of domestic violence from their children.

A judge in Woodford County, IL overseeing my sisters abuse, divorce, O.P's, failed child support, etc. recently gave full custody over to the abusive father. She has seen her daughter (7 years old) two times in 3 months.

She lived under domestic violent conditions in a small room in her and her exhusband's home for 3 years, coming out only when he would leave for work. We finally had my sister and her daughter stay with us, but the husband flew on a plane and retrieved her. It took her three years to save up money to leave and file for divorce.

The judge (heuschen) sp (?) continues to allow my sister's ex to drag her into court. This has interfered with her finding full-time jobs, bancruptcy, not to mention the devestation it is having on her daughter.

She has told me she is hearing from the locals, this judge is a bigot and is common knowledge around locals. She claims the women are downtrodden and are powerless to do anything and are submissive to the men and court system there.

I find it hard to imagine in this country such a thing can exist. I feel badly for not believing how hard it really was for her. My decision to help her to this extent came after she recently wrote me telling me she will soon be homeless due to the financial strain this judge and court proceedings has had on her. She tells me now her "ex" is suing for past expenses and even child support. He makes over $80,000.00 and works for a major insurance firm. He certainly doesn't need her money. She is telling me even her own attorney is pressuring her to give in...(what is that all about?)

I think it's a bit overboard to live on the streets, but I have a daughter too. Maybe I'd do the same. She says she doesn't want her daughter to grow up believing she ever gave up on getting her back or doing the right thing for other people who may find themselves in the same kind of predicament. I just don't know what help I can find for her. I guess I waited too long.

It's worth a try...if anyone is listening or can help her, please don't make the same mistake I did. I feel terrible as a sister and can not appologize enough.

Posted by: Laura at Jan 23, 2006 1:56:26 PM

Laura, your sister needs an attorney who has experience with domestic violence issues. She might be able to get some referrals from a local domestic violence group.

Also, about this: "I am seeking help for my sister. She lives in Woodford County, IL. Up until now, I had no idea there was a name (PAS) describing custody battles alienating victims of domestic violence from their children."

What your sister is going through isn't PAS. She is describing typical tactics taken on by abusers. PAS is used against mothers, especially when domestic violence and child abuse are issues. I have heard from many noncustodial moms in abusive situations who claim that their ex's have PAS. They don't. PAS is not recognized as a valid syndrome by the American Psychological Association. You may want to read this article that describes exactly what is really going on.

But I've Seen It! No, You Haven't

Posted by: The Countess at Jan 23, 2006 2:31:50 PM

"Someone should start organizing a contact phone tree or email tree in the future, for these sorts of situations..."

NYMOM, I'm in total agreement with you about this. We have to network and be organized to be heard.

Posted by: Txfeminist at Jan 23, 2006 3:17:49 PM

Check out www.AmendmentE.com

Holding judges accountable.

Posted by: Bonnie at Mar 24, 2006 11:17:23 AM