This Is The Funniest Blog I've Ever Read

Attention Food Bloggers: If you have never read Steve at The Sneeze, head on over right now and check him out. I haven't laughed so hard in my life.

The Count was surfing the web last night, and all of a sudden he started laughing is ass off. I made him send me the link in e-mail, since I figured that was easier than just reciting the link to me while I sat next to him reading blogs. I'm glad he sent me the link. I'm going to make a big habit of reading Steve's blog every day. Nothing is sacred. He even interviewed Adam Savage from that great television show "Mythbusters". The Count, the Royal Spawn, and I are big fans of "Mythbusters".

Steve is hosting a contest. Tell a friend about his blog, cc him, and you have a chance to win a box of bandages that look like bacon. Ha ha!!!

I just posted about a post he wrote about Potted Meat. He could barely contain himself. He completely loses it in this post about Beggin' Strips. Check it out. The underlining was in the original.

Beggin' Strips slogan is "Dog's don't know it's not bacon!" Newsflash: Dogs are retarded. Mine used to eat his own vomit, and wag his tail while he did it. I'll be the one to decide if this stuff tastes like bacon or not.

Steve made himself a Beggin', lettuce, and tomato sandwich. This is what he had to say about it:

I'm back. And I'm sad to report that I did not run around the house yelling "Bacon!" I did, however, run around the house yelling "Call 911!"

GodDAMN these are foul. Don't try this at home. I'm not sure it's safe, and I am sure your tongue may kill itself.

While they were a little too artificially colored red to pass for real bacon, I was pleased to see they were not all the same shape. Similar to slices of real bacon, they each have their own curvy and shriveled identity. (Just like my aunts and uncles.)

And somehow these Beggin' Strips also managed to smell just like bacon. Oopsie. Typo. I meant to say "the smoky puke of a thousand maniacs."

He concluded with the following: "In closing, the only silver lining to this dark dark cloud is I have figured out why so many dogs lick their own assholes. They are trying to kill the taste of Beggin' Strips. (By the way, it doesn't work.)"

I bought Beggin' Strips for my cats several years ago. They loved bacon off the plate, and were known to reach out their little paws to drag a slice off if I didn't swat them first.

The cats sniffed the Beggin' Strip I left on the floor for them, and then proceeded to make those cat-scratch motions they make when they're covering their shit in the litter box. That said it all. No self-respecting cat would be caught dead eating Beggin' Strips. That only proves that cats are much more intelligent than dogs.