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March 31, 2005
What Runs Through A Woman's Mind When She's Worried About Being Pregnant
Anti-abortion activists act as if women who get abortions treat their abortions like taking out the trash. No, it's not a light decision. She has her health, her life, her income, and her job to worry about. Read Cameron Hurley's post about a recent pregnancy scare she had to see what really goes through a woman's mind when she is contemplating an abortion. Luckily, Cameron did get her period, so she's relieved that she wasn't pregnant.
Posted on March 31, 2005 at 09:56 AM | Permalink
Comments
I realize that for many abortion is not a light decision, but let's not make that universal eh? I am not the only person I know who in the 80s really did regard it as a matter of course when we got careless or the spermicide didn't work. There are and were those who used it as a backup birth control and didn't give it a second thought except as an inconvenience (similar to having a tooth pulled). One woman, a prostitute, used nothing else and merely complained about it casually in the waiting room as something she was tired of having to do every four months.
Like I say, yes for many it is not a light decision. For others it is. I don't justify their (or my prior) casual attitude towards abortion, but it is what it is. When you are taught that there is nothing wrong with abortion (and that getting pregnant is the most horrible thing you can do - it will RUIN YOUR LIFE) then yes, it becomes no big deal. Certainly no big deal compared to getting caught doing the REALLY bad thing, which is getting pregnant. As long as those attitudes prevail, there will be women who have casual abortions.
Posted by: Aurora at Mar 31, 2005 2:00:38 PM
For most women, this is a gut-wrenching decision, but for too many, you are right, Aurora.
And too many women who have abortions have them performed not because she wants it, but because their parents or no-good boyfriend are making them get rid of it.
When I was in high school (circa 1980), there were actually girls who would get pregnant on purpose so they could have abortions, and then went around the school and bragged about it. They were the brainless cheerleader types, and I sure hope they couldn't have kids when they finally wanted them.
It's not something I have been faced with, and I won't say what my stand is on it beyond the fact that it is an enormous tragedy that anybody would ever want one, but here are a few things I have observed about women I've known who have had abortions.
1. Every woman I have ever known who had an abortion was sexually abused at some time in her life.
2. All them were also extremely promiscuous, often with women as well as men simply because they were available.
3. I have never seen or heard of a relationship that survived an abortion, except when it was performed for health reasons (i.e. ectopic pregnancy), in which case it really isn't an abortion, but a miscarriage.
4. The women who regretted the procedure did it because someone else wanted them to do it; it wasn't their decision.
That woman's commentary would have been much easier to read had she not been such a potty-mouth (or potty-keyboard? )
Posted by: kohoutekdriver8 at Mar 31, 2005 3:24:11 PM
"As long as those attitudes prevail, there will be women who have casual abortions."
Very few since it is a painful procedure and the recovery is not so quick.
I accompanied a friend once to have one and you don't just walk out of there like it's a day at the beach or something like that, as opposed to taking a pill every day or using a condum...Most prostitutes would not take a chance on constant abortions messing up their insides, as they need them to make a living...so I find it hard to believe that they are just in and out having abortions every three months, when they can take a pill just so easily...
That sounds like a story made up by some mens rights site talking about abortion when they don't even know about it...who goes through a painful procedure like that every three months????
Posted by: NYMOM at Mar 31, 2005 4:49:37 PM
"...(similar to having a tooth pulled)..."
You know women who go to have a procedure on the level of pain equivalent to having a tooth pulled every three months...when they can just take a pill???
Posted by: NYMOM at Mar 31, 2005 4:52:02 PM
"When I was in high school (circa 1980), there were actually girls who would get pregnant on purpose so they could have abortions, and then went around the school and bragged about it."
Sigh...I'm not even going to respond to this as it makes no sense...like somebody going out of their way to have a tooth pulled for fun...
"Every woman I have ever known who had an abortion was sexually abused at some time in her life.
2. All them were also extremely promiscuous, often with women as well as men simply because they were available."
Again no comment...I see you're against abortion but could you come up with arguments AGAINST it that make some sense...Please...
Posted by: at Mar 31, 2005 4:55:30 PM
NYMOM, I appreciate your feedback but I don't appreciate being told my life sounds "made up" or dismissed as a MRA. I plead not guilty on both charges.
I was never sexually abused, though I was probably what could be called promiscuous.
As to the prostitute I encountered, that was every four months, and it was simply what she said; I can not be sure if it was an accurate statement except for the fact that she and the doctor were quite obviously familiarly acquainted. It certainly wasn't the first time, for either of us. I did use the more extreme example of a tooth-pulling because I realize it may be painful for some (the first time was, subsequent times were not any more painful than a few hours of period-like cramps.)
As far as recovery, if there are no complications, that's pretty much it. Just as the link said, you only have to miss a half-day at work, much less anything else. Aside from a couple hours if you have a general anesthesia (which eliminates the pain factor of course), there isn't really anything to recover from. So no, I can't cede that it is not done casually, especially having first-hand knowledge (from myself and people I've spent time with during their own procedures) that it IS many times done casually. Myself, I was far more scared at being found out to be pregnant than at being known to have an abortion - it was considered the best thing to do because a pregnancy brought to term would RUIN YOUR LIFE and that was the long and short of it. Since abortion wasn't "wrong" and it was "safe, effective, quick" and honestly, easy, what was the problem? Even the link in the original blog entry showed a very casual attitude toward the abortion itself; she had no qualms with it whatsoever, just anger that it would take money and half a day's pay.
I saw nothing in that entry that showed abortion is NOT viewed very casually. Except for the money.
Posted by: Aurora at Mar 31, 2005 6:01:16 PM
No reply, eh?
No big deal, I have since heard you treat everyone this way, NYMOM. Waste of time, obviously.
Posted by: Aurora at Apr 11, 2005 3:16:36 PM
"...No reply, eh?"
I didn't reply because I was NOT even aware that you replied to me. Sometimes this board moves very fast and if I go away for a weekend or a lot of people respond at once, a reply gets moved down and I never even see it...
By the time I do weeks could have passed and it's too late to reply...
For instance you replied to me on March 31, 2005. I didn't see this board until you sent me an email tonight.
The bottom line I still disagree with everything you say. I do NOT believe that women treat abortion lightly as it's a major surgical procedure and, even if you were careless ONCE and had to have an abortion, I don't think you would be careless a second time...especially a prostitute...generally my opinion is that it's the 'nice' girls who make up the majority of an abortion clinic's customers as the 'bad' ones (prostitutes) know ALL about birth control and use it in order to avoid abortions...
We'll just have to agree to disagree I guess.
Posted by: NYMOM at Apr 11, 2005 10:51:45 PM
And yet, ironically, your belief is directly contradicted by the real life personal experience of more than one woman. Whom you then dismiss and decide their lives are just a mythos.
Ironically, though you refuse to understand or believe it, many women DO treat the decision lightly. In fact, the woman in the blog entry certainly did, aside from the money factor.
So funny how one can be so terribly wrong but not in the least doubt.
Posted by: Aurora at Apr 12, 2005 12:14:45 AM
