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September 13, 2004
Blaahg
I'm having a serious case of blog slump. How many other bloggers have felt this way? I've been feeling a bit down for a couple of weeks. Haven't felt like posting much at all. Maybe it's the anniversary of September 11 and the death of Aaron Hawkins (Uppity-Negro) that's making me feel this way. I didn't even know Aaron nor have I read his blog, although I have heard of it. Heard good things, too. Nonetheless, his death really bothered me. It made me realize how short life is. We only have so much time on this earth so it's best to use that time wisely.
I simply do not have the heart to blog anymore. At least not now.
I do get tired of people coming here to call me a "fucking cunt" and other lovely slurs. That sort of thing can weigh you down. I'm not sure what I expected from blogging but it wasn't all that vitriol. I know I should expect that kind of treatment because I do counter fathers' rights propaganda, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. It's irritating and I get tired of seeing so much of it.
I'm not sure how I feel about blogging at this point. I'm disappointed in the blogosphere. I guess I had fallen for the blogosphere's image as being an Internet "utopia" and it is certainly far from it. The last incarnation of that dreadful "woman bloggers" debate was another disappointment that was even more disappointing because it was not unexpected. The same old shit comes up every three months. At least I got new readers out of it.
I know that blogging isn't any different from the rest of the world, but I expected more from it than the usual nonsense you see everywhere else. Sometimes blogging reminds me of Usenet - the same old trolling, snark, and vitriol, too much time spent nuking porn spam, and an atmosphere akin to junior high school popularity contests. Frankly, life's too short for that. I'm burned out from it all. I don't even know how many people, if any, really read my blog. Sometimes I feel as if no one reads my blog. I know that's my bleak mood talking, but I do wonder sometimes. I know I'm not alone. Plenty of other bloggers feel that way. That makes me feel a little better but not much.
I think this means that I'm announcing that I'm taking a break. My two year blog anniversary is New Year's Day. Maybe it's time for me to wind down and move on to other projects. I feel as if I have to choose between updating my blog (which takes a lot of energy out of me) and working on my other writing projects. I don't have enough energy to do both.
Knowing me, shortly after posting this announcement I'll post a slew of new things here. I sometimes do that. Suffice to say I'm feeling a bit too down to blog for awhile. I hope this mood doesn't last long. It's not fun.
Posted on September 13, 2004 at 09:31 AM | Permalink
Comments
I hope it doesn't last, either! I read your blog every day.
Feel better.
~flea
Posted by: flea at Sep 13, 2004 9:36:43 AM
Thanks. I don't like it when I get like this, and it happens a lot. Plus I'm moving MP3 files from my lap top to my new iMac. I can finally use that iPod I've had for nearly a year. It takes longer for me to post because my computer is very slow.
Imagine this - Trish Wilson has nothing to say. LOL
Posted by: Trish Wilson at Sep 13, 2004 9:40:39 AM
I'm in blog slump, too, so I can understand your feelings. I do read you regularly, though, and enjoy visiting here.
Posted by: Lynn Gazis-Sax at Sep 13, 2004 9:43:36 AM
Trish,
((Hugs)) Sounds like you're having a rough week. Just keep your chin up and things will get better.
Posted by: Rachael at Sep 13, 2004 9:59:46 AM
You and me, lady. What gives?
Posted by: Lauren at Sep 13, 2004 11:06:04 AM
i, for one, like reading your site. and i'll still be visiting to make sure i don't miss it if the hiatus ever ends. have a nice restful break and then come back when blogging seems appealing again.
i find it's hardest to blog when you feel like your talking to an audience. i do my best when i pretend no one ever sees my site and i am just using it as a forum to vent. the comments sometimes are a little hard to explain, but i still manage to keep up the illusion that no one is really reading what i post. rather than finding that discouraging, i find it refreshing.
Posted by: upyernoz at Sep 13, 2004 12:05:01 PM
I read your blog every day, but you knew that. ;)
I can imagine the trolls get you down. I don't get nearly as many as you and not nearly as virulent, so I still think it's a little funny. They wouldn't have the courage of their convictions if they had to say it to your face. But I imagine it can really be a downer.
Posted by: Amanda at Sep 13, 2004 12:18:20 PM
I check out your blog everyday Trish and am expecially interested in your commentary when a fathers rights nutcase surfaces. I can understand the burn -out expecially with the nature of t your blog you must be a magnent for nasty trolls.
That is part of the nasties stategy. They no we have less of a stomach for vitriol than they do and they can shut us up by laying on the slime.
I get you on the tiresome debate about "why women aren't as (smart, visible, political etc) as men. That bothers me more than the snarking but come on, this has been a part of life for women for eons. I hope you don't let the bad and the ugly push you into not communicating your good ideas to those of us that need them.
Posted by: farmgirl at Sep 13, 2004 1:01:29 PM
I check out your blog everyday Trish and am especially interested in your commentary when a "fathers rights" nutcase surfaces. I can understand the burn -out expecially with the nature of t your blog you must be a magnent for nasty trolls.
That is part of the nasties stategy. They know we have less of a stomach for vitriol than they do and they can shut us up by laying on the slime.
I get you on the tiresome debate about "why women aren't as (smart, visible, political etc) as men. That bothers me more than the snarking but come on, this has been a part of life for women for eons. I hope you don't let the bad and the ugly push you into not communicating your good ideas to those of us that need them.
Posted by: farmgirl at Sep 13, 2004 1:02:34 PM
I came here expecting your take on the Batman dude in London. Oh well! ;-)
The humdrum of which you speak is also evident to me off-line. Many of my friends and colleagues are going through tough times right now.
I also think the election process is getting me down. Despite Kerry's recent bump back up in the polls, I'm bracing myself for the worst. As my husband frequently reminds me, "It doesn't matter who we vote for. Those assholes own the fucking machines."
Sorry. That probably didn't cheer you up.
As for the trolls, just keep in mind that if your writing didn't upset someone, you wouldn't be doing your job.
Take a break. Come back later when you feel like it.
Posted by: Roxanne at Sep 13, 2004 2:23:40 PM
I heard about the Batman dude. One of these days one of those idiots is going to fall off a building and go *SPLAT* all over London. All their protests will do is lead to their divorces costing in the six figures and higher when the divorce "industry" cashes in on "shared parenting." It's heading in that direction right now.
Thanks for all the kind words, everyone. I still don't feel so great but I do feel a little better.
Posted by: Trish Wilson at Sep 13, 2004 3:22:30 PM
Yours is the only blog I read on a regular basis!
Posted by: jan at Sep 13, 2004 3:28:27 PM
Trish, I read you regularly, because I need to know what the opposition is up to...
In answer to why women don't blog?
We are too busy picking up after the folks in our lives, on a community wide basis. I lack education and position, but I know how to find the resources, employment, and help for hard luck kids in our rural neighborhood. I know how to help tend chronically ill relatives, friends and neighbors. We do animal rescue. We attend church regularly..
The truth, Trish,...is that you are doing what we cannot do...and I should have posted my gratitude a long while back.
Thank you. Leave us knowing you have done a fine job, and we are grateful.
Posted by: at Sep 13, 2004 3:56:05 PM
Some people come here just to call ya a Beeyatch. ;)
I go through those blahg moods, too. No one says you have to post every day. I mean, really, anyone who really thinks they have something worthwhile to say every single day has an ego the size of Texas.
Maybe you should probably find a less taxing subject. I mean, really. Busting wack jobs is a very draining thing to do, on top of all the stuff the anonymous poster mentioned. Then again, that could be a stealth post. Of course, the FR would Love to see you go.....And one daythright one will piss you off enough that you will want to bust his sorry ass....then you will wish you had your blog!
Go have fun with your IPod and come back after you've had enough break. What good songs are you putting on it?
Posted by: Moi ;) at Sep 13, 2004 4:31:52 PM
Yeah, I get that way sometimes. I've been dealing with a toothache/sinus infection for weeks now (can't afford to go to the doctor, but I think I finally maybe got some little insurance which is better than nothing, but this is a tangent) so I haven't felt like writing much, or going to work. :P Sometimes, I just get bummed out and want to veg. I really haven't found any cure for it except to try to force myself to write... and that's not always easy.
Posted by: Aurora at Sep 13, 2004 4:44:56 PM
Trish, you may not know that I read your blog every day, since I use Bloglines, and tend to click in only occasionally -- but you do know that you were one of my early inspirations.
& I know that I will experience the 'blaahgs' one of these days, too.
It is difficult now, when it seems that lies rule, to keep the spirit. I'm glad I decided to not do politics as a regular thing. Keeping informed is painful enough; attempting to inform is more than I can do.
Posted by: SB at Sep 13, 2004 4:45:54 PM
just like to say thanks for all the time and effort you've put into your blog. take care of yourself...
Posted by: Ab_Normal at Sep 13, 2004 4:48:07 PM
Hope you feel better soon. I really appreciate the work you've done on this blog--family law is an area of feminism I'm not too familiar with and so I always learn something new when I read your posts.
Posted by: Linnet at Sep 13, 2004 6:02:52 PM
Well, you know I like your blog. But I've been feeling a wee bit blogged out too. Maybe it's the seasonal change, although I think that the women bloggers question got to me, as well.
Fwiw, I think your blog is really one of the most creative and interesting out there. I really think you do a valuable public service, collecting all this info in one place.
And yes, I know how much it fucking sucks to have people leave comments just to tell you what a bitch you are, even though it's only happened to me a few times. Even in my short li'l bloglife, I've taken comfort from seeing that crap on other people's blogs and knowing that it isn't just me. It's them (the trolls, not the other feminist bloggers).
Take a break and get your mojo back. We all need it sometimes.
Posted by: bitchphd at Sep 13, 2004 7:25:58 PM
you need a dose of "Uru". Hmm. New iMac - not the G5?
Heck, the non-bloggers get burnout just reading the daily paper. Why should you be any different?
Posted by: NancyP at Sep 13, 2004 7:36:25 PM
I say good riddance to you, your stupid hate blog, and the idiots who come here to encourage you. Think about it, lass--If you give up blogging you'll have so much more time to do that phoney 'research' you like to spout and can only publish on the lunatic fringe sites.
Posted by: Gary Martinburgh at Sep 13, 2004 7:53:45 PM
You have a lot of interesting things to say and you write well, so I enjoy reading your blog. I added comment screening to my blog when I got comment spam, but don't get many readers or comments anyway. I consider it mainly a personal space to post what I am working on or feel like writing about.
It certainly shouldn't feel like a chore to post, and you should take a break when you feel that way. No one is obligated to post to their blog every day. Use it to vent, to work things out, whatever, and add some type of comment screening to keep out the worst of the trolls. I use typekey, there are others available, like haloscan, that let you ban commenters from your site.
Posted by: donna at Sep 13, 2004 9:01:29 PM
Hang in there, Trish! You're of countless value to many of us!! Oh, and your blog is too. :) Oh yeah, and Gary's a doo-doo head. :)
Posted by: Elayne Riggs at Sep 13, 2004 10:16:14 PM
Such a doodoo-head...is Gary.
Again, Trish...thank you. You took the abuse for us, and your courage in doing so is noted and respected. Thank you for enduring what we could not.
Posted by: at Sep 14, 2004 12:16:31 AM
That's funny. I did a Google search on Gary Martinburgh and got a bunch of listings for "flaming fuckstick."
Interesting, the internet is.
Posted by: Aurora at Sep 14, 2004 5:30:48 AM
I started a blog, now that I've got my own computer to use again (other one became toast, and I was using my mom's to surf); then my job went to 6-10s and I can't find the time to post. But I always--always! come here. You're one of my blogging inspirations!
If you gotta take a break, hey, it's cool. Pour yourself a strong cold one and put your feet up. But don't let the bastards get you down. There may be a lot of 'em, but there's more of us; it just doesn't seem that way because asshats have more time in their daily lives to post! Keep ya head up!
Posted by: La Lubu at Sep 14, 2004 6:45:09 AM
Hi,
I read your blog regularly and have loved the way you tackle the men's rights fanatics.
We all feel burned out and unappreciated from time to time. Take a break if you need to. This is your blog afterall, it shouldn't be a burden for you.
I'll miss reading your blog but hope you have a relaxing and invigorating break.
Best wishes
Catherine
Posted by: Catherine Redfern at Sep 14, 2004 7:59:09 AM
Gary - What a dork you are. It's no wonder you have problems with your ex.
Posted by: Moi ;) at Sep 14, 2004 8:12:45 AM
I'm feeling a bit better now. I still don't have much to post except for the father's rights publicity stunt nonsense. I'm just not up to it. Part of it is that I've been writing stuff offline so my blog took a back seat.
I'm not going anywhere, but I do need a break. And yes, there is a picture of Gary next to "flaming fuckstick" in the dictionary. The poor dear won't know what to do with himself when he finds out I'm not shutting down my blog. I'm imagining him dressed in a Batman costume and falling from a balcony onto the street three stories below. That bat doesn't fly. ;)
Posted by: Trish Wilson at Sep 14, 2004 10:02:54 AM
Trish, take a break--and come back. And remember, when some moron calls you a fucking cunt, leave it up for all to see. It's best for people to know the level of intelligence and class the opposition has. It only serves to make us look good.
Besides, trolls provide a valuable public service. When I have a crappy day, I can kick a troll and feel much better.
Gosh, Gary, if this blog is so terrible, why do you keep coming back? Frankly, I think you've got a thing for Trish. You're like those boys in the third grade who'd pull the hair of the girls they liked.
Posted by: Sheelzebub at Sep 14, 2004 10:42:19 AM
I just wanted to add my voice to the general chorus. I read and love your blog.
But if you need to take a break and recharge (or even move on to something else), then that's what you should do. A blog, especially one as distinctive and intensely-researched as yours, is a gift from you to your readers, not an obligation.
I've sometimes wondered if I couldn't slow down the blogging or something. I like blogging, but it takes a lot of time that could be spent on other stuff I like, and sometimes I gert that Blahg feeling you describe.
Take care of yourself. I loved reading your stuff back in our Usenet days, and I love reading your stuff now. I hope you find a way to keep your blog going; but If you decide to move on to something else, then I'm sure I'll love what you do next, too.
Posted by: Ampersand at Sep 14, 2004 12:23:13 PM
Moi, I'm putting some BT, Adeamus, Prodigy, Delerium, Coldplay, and Trance Nation on my iPod. If I want to chill out I listen to Biosphere and Enigma. I've got other stuff to listen to but I listen to them most of the time.
I'm still transferring MP3 files. This is going to take forever...
Posted by: Trish Wilson at Sep 14, 2004 4:10:17 PM
How could I forget? I also am putting some DJ Tiesto on my iPod. He put out some good stuff. I love "In My Memory" by Tiesto and "Dreaming" by BT.
Posted by: Trish Wilson at Sep 14, 2004 4:34:54 PM
I burn everything onto CD, I should get one of those IPod things..... Who is Tiesto? and BT? I don't know, I am a classical musician....
Posted by: Moi ;) at Sep 14, 2004 6:19:48 PM
Tiesto and BT do techno and trance. I like classical but I like baroque and medieval better.
Posted by: Trish Wilson at Sep 15, 2004 11:53:43 AM
I've only visited occasionally, but you're needed. The whole purpose of trolls and ugly email is to make you stop blogging. It's not you personally.
I've been at it since March, and there are days that the snark just isn't there, and I'm sure that "they" are winning. But then suddenly someone finds my blog and links to it and I get a whole bunch of people I never knew about before, and it's suddenly fun again, and I feel useful.
Gender politics tends to leave me cold, especially as expressed by some of the more (shall we say) exuberant sites out there. Guess I'm from that generation of feminists whose first job was listed in the "Help Wanted (Female)" section of the paper but who spent nearly 20 years as a techy at a bunch of male-dominated industries (traders, telecommunications, etc.). The idea that things might be back-slipping scares me to death, and that younger women often seem to think hair and thongs and diet are worth time and attention, but voting isn't scares me even more.
Just had to rant. If we can all make it through November, maybe we can rest then.
Posted by: Cynical at Sep 16, 2004 4:41:18 PM
Rant all you like. There are definitely numerous backlashes against women right now, but one of the backlashes that doesn't get much press is the one against mothers, especially custodial mothers. I hope we can make it through November, too. The elections are only about a month and a half from now. Time flies, eh?
I think what happened to me when I wrote this post was that I was pulling out of a black funk. I hadn't posted in a week. Part of it was convention let-down. Worldcon had ended and I was experiencing post-cast party blues. Plus I was fed up with the blogosphere after that stupid "where are the wimmen" fall-out that happens like clockwork every three months. I couldn't write at all the week before I posted this post. So, I finally feel better, vent, and then get back to blogging as usual. Batman made it too easy. So much there to make fun of. ;)
I agree with Barry about taking time out to recharge. With the kind of stuff I post, I need to do that more often. Skeet shooting is fun but I have to give the gun a break every once in awhile.
Posted by: Trish Wilson at Sep 16, 2004 5:47:21 PM
Not every skeet is worth the ammo spent.
As to "where r the wimmen", it reminds me of "why are there no great women..." (fill in the blank) artists.... writers.... rocket scientists.... presidents.....
I know where a lot of them are. Slowly and methodically going thru voter registration lists, making phone calls to potential volunteers, hosting house parties, hand-addressing invitations to fundraisers. Walk into any political office (of any party) and you'll find the women.
Oh, and they're raising your children, you jackasses.
(No, won't start the thread going again.... )
Take care in whatever fashion you need.
C.
Posted by: Cynical at Sep 16, 2004 6:17:18 PM
