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March 04, 2004

ANCPR/Lowell Jaks Update - Alec Jaks Has Been Found And Returned To His Mother

Nicole Jaks, Lowell Jaks's daughter from his first marriage, has posted the good news in my comments section. The "wanted" posters have been taken down from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children web site, and Elaine Jackson has removed the "time missing" graphic from her web site. If and when I receive more updates, I will post them.

The father's rights supporters who posted in support of Jaks on my blog and on their own mailing lists and in articles, including those who went as far as to malign Elaine on fathers rights mailing lists (and me in comments here and on their own blogs), should take a good, hard look at what Ms. Jaks has written. Lowell Jaks is no hero. He is an abusive loser whose very popular organization the Alliance for Noncustodial Parents Rights (ANCPR) assists assorted malcontents who want to avoid paying child support and who bash the mothers of their children. ANCPR also includes women such as second wives and subsequent girlfriends who side with their men against the hated ex-wife/ex-girlfriend. ANCPR is typical of the fathers' rights movement. Those who think or try to convince people otherwise are either fooling themselves or trying to pull a fast one.

I'm happy to have done what little I could to help. Bloggers linked to the story, driving the truth of the kidnapping and Jaks's and ANCPR's true agenda to the first search page when "Lowell Jaks" and similar search text is entered into Google. It might have been only a little bit, but as far as I'm concerned, every little bit helped. I hope in the end justice is served.

Here is what Nicole Jaks wrote in my comments:

I thought people reading these posts that support Lowell (my father) would like to hear a little insight from one of his adult children! He has a daughter the same age as Alec's Mom. Then he married my Mom and had me and my younger brother before he remarried and had Alec. He never or barely child support for me, and barely/sorta paid for my brother. He also threatened to abduct us from my Mom when we were about the same age as Alec is now. He gave up any interest in that close relationship he rants and raves to be necessary between children and father when we were about Alec's age. I had honestly predicted that he would go offer and start a new family and forget about Alec like he had us. But, sadly for Alec, I was wrong.

He has always been verbally and mentally abusive, and was definitely physically abusive of my Mom and me (at least one time I clearly remember). Does this really seem like a man who cares so deeply about his children? Mr Jaks has stated that children need the love of their father not his money (basically), but I know we didn't feel that way when my Mother had to work extra hours and be gone longer, leaving us with no parent, or depending on the Welfare system.

Mr Jaks is highly intelligent and equally unstable. He has serious anger management issues among other psychological problems.

When the court was to decide custody and visitation for Alec in Ca, I was living in Co. Alec's mother and her wonderful new husband asked me to testify on Elaine's behalf. I chose not to testify for fear of permanently severing the realtionship with my father. Now, I wish I would have testified and I wish it would have helped. It may not've reduced his visitation, but maybe it would've shown Alec that someone other than his Mom can testify as to his father's destructive nature.

I talked to Alec a few days after he got back from the Dominican Republic. He has obviously been VERY strongly swayed by our father toward his worship. Alec said his Dad "took him on a month vacation without homework!" It was sad to hear Alec's attitude regarding the horrible, controlling, manipulative, abusive thing his father had done. Alec's Mom and I hope this is some sort of coping mechanism Alec has devised to deal with his father's illness.

I have a son of my own and I even fear his safety at times. I had tried to regain a relationship with my father in the summer of 2003. I was expecting my first child and felt the pull toward family, even if just for my son to know his Granddad. I flew to Ca from Chicago to visit Mr Jaks. Our relationship was surviving because he wasn't as zealous about his ancpr-type ideas as usual. I planned a 3 week stay with him, but after 1 week, I was frantically packing my bags to leave. The extreme, woman-hating man in Mr Jaks reared his ugly head around day two, but I let the comments and sick opinions roll off of my back for a few days. At my boiling point, I spoke back with my opinion. This was unacceptable to him,probably especially since I am a female. (I'm not exaggerating to make him look worse, he does a fine job of that on his own!)

Perhaps, other readers would be interested in knowing that my younger brother has not been on speaking terms with Mr Jaks for some time now because my brother decided he would no longer tolerate Mr Jaks' verbal and emotional abuse.

Mr Jaks has always tried to control his children, though he never provided for them... never provided in anyway, including emotionally, spiritually, physically, OR financially.

I believe he adopted his philosophical abhorance of the cs system after he didn't want to pay... not after he felt it separated him from the love of his children. During our heated argument when I was packing to leave his home, I posed this theory. He was furious and claimed that that is what the system would have me think. Alas, I have been duped! Or have I? Maybe I touched a little too close to the truth.

When someone falied to reflect the beautiful man Mr Jaks yearned to see back at him, he relinquished his pursuit for a relationship with us. Alec adores his father, so Mr Jaks keeps him as close as he can. If Alec realizes what a dangerous, awful man Mr Jaks is, Alec too will be relinquished from Mr Jaks pursuit. It's just so sad that Alec had to endure the life-changing event of parental abduction for Mr Jaks' sick personal benefit.

I implore anyone who's "on my father's side" to contact me if they think I have unfairly portrayed him. I can give plenty of details and anecdotes to support my claims and opinions, as do many members of my family!

Posted on March 4, 2004 at 02:24 PM | Permalink


I'm not suprised at all about the truth behind Lowell Jaks. He's not only a deadbeat but a crazy deadbeat.
Glad to hear Alec is back where he belongs, with his MOTHER!

Posted by: Value Moms at Mar 4, 2004 3:30:19 PM

I'm happy to have done what little I could to help. Bloggers linked to the story, driving the truth of the kidnapping and Jaks's and ANCPR's true agenda to the first search page when "Lowell Jaks" and similar search text is entered into Google. It might have been only a little bit, but as far as I'm concerned, every little bit helped. I hope in the end justice is served.

I, too, am thrilled the child is back where he has always belonged and that is, with his one fit parent and a family and community that support him in every aspect.

I also am not surpised at the "truth" behind Lowell Jaks or his supporters. This provided me with the opportunity to contact my state legislators, US Senators and local judges with the "real truth" and not the doublespeak they so often hear from these so called "father rights" groups. I encourage everyone to contact their own state legislators and senators and do the same. It was truly an "eye opening" moment for some of these lawmakers to see the "real truth" by the responses I have received. As I have said before, one only has to look at the actions and not the words to see what is really going on. It is all DOUBLESPEAK.


Please keep us updated and thank you for speaking out as a child who was clearly "victimized" by the actions of these so-called "father's rights" advocates. :::::inserting applause::::::::

and Trish, THANK YOU for bringing to light, yet again, that these groups are self-serving and seek not to protect children as they proclaim. Kudos to you!!!!

Posted by: Chief at Mar 4, 2004 5:19:39 PM

Congratulations, Trish, for sinking to a new low. There is a special tier of hell reserved for those who drive wedges between children and parents, and you've just booked yourself a place in it. By encouraging this poor Nicole person to rant about her father in the forum you've created for her, you've caused lasting damage in their relationship. Alienation of this kind is the moral equivalent of kidnapping.

You must be very proud.

Posted by: Richard Bennett at Mar 4, 2004 8:50:08 PM

........and another one with a serious reading comprehension problem. Geez... is it full moon or what?

RB, it must suck to be you about now....

Posted by: Chief at Mar 4, 2004 8:57:23 PM


>........and another one with a serious reading comprehension problem.

Oh, Richard Bennett's reading comprehension is just fine. He's circling the drain, and had to get in one last lame flame before being flushed.

Posted by: Trish Wilson at Mar 4, 2004 9:54:52 PM

Alienation of this kind is the moral equivalent of kidnapping.

yes, it's exactly like kidnapping, except for that part about taking another person against their will.

when i read his comment i wonder if maybe richard doesn't understand exactly what the moral problem is with kidnapping.

Posted by: upyernoz at Mar 4, 2004 10:37:08 PM

Richard, are you suggesting that I have contacted Nicole and made these suggestions? ROFL, you dingbat! Read what she wrote. She said she's be happy to explain to "anyone on her fathers side" (after all, you claim to have known him) plenty of "details and anecdotes to support my claims and opinions, as do many members of my family!" Hey, she has had much more experience with him than either you or I have had. She can explain things to you. How could I have encouraged her to "rant," as you say, about her father on my blog when I have never before contacted her, and she has never before contacted me? She found my blog on her own, and she posted here of her own free will. Are you trying to make it look as if I conspired with her to "alienate" her from her father? ROFL, that is even more lame and stupid than the crap you usually come up with.

Posted by: Trish Wilson at Mar 4, 2004 11:26:05 PM

You're busted, Trish. Deal with it.

Posted by: Richard Bennett at Mar 5, 2004 12:53:11 PM


Just how is Trish busted? C'mon.... Inquiring minds want to know.

Posted by: Chief at Mar 5, 2004 1:16:15 PM

Yes. I, too, am curious to learn exactly how Trish is "busted". Please enlighten us.

Posted by: flea at Mar 5, 2004 1:36:32 PM

Flea, considering your line of work, the word "busted" takes on an entirely different meaning. LOL

Posted by: Trish Wilson at Mar 5, 2004 1:57:05 PM

Richard, dear, I'm not the one who is busted. Lowell Jaks is. He has been taken into custody and is going to be extradited to California soon.

Posted by: Trish Wilson at Mar 5, 2004 2:00:40 PM

Christ. If that's the case, then I'm in the wrong line of work!

Posted by: flea at Mar 5, 2004 3:40:58 PM

It always sucks to be a slug, didn't ya know that, Chief? ;)

Gimme a damn violin. I'll play for ya.

Posted by: Moi ;) at Mar 5, 2004 3:42:39 PM

Nicole, you are amazing and very brave (as I always knew you were). Thank you for being such a good sister to Alec and such a good friend to me. It's really more than I could ask for...

RB, you are trully a warthog of a human being if you do not realize the depth of the alienation that was forced upon Nicole by her father long before she shared her feelings online. I saw him do it to each of his older children and I saw him do it to me (yes, I loved Alec's father and yes, it had to get really really bad before I decided to leave). Thank God there are others out there that KNOW and can testify to the reality behind the rhetoric. Please, please get a clue...

Posted by: Elaine at Mar 5, 2004 4:01:29 PM

It always sucks to be a slug, didn't ya know that, Chief? ;)

LOL.... and to think, I bought extra salt! I really thought we might need it. But.... alas, RB is slithering and shrinking by the seconds. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. I had a feeling he wouldn't last long. Although, he had a shorter lifespan than most slugs, but that may have something to do with him being "intellectually lazy".

Posted by: Chief at Mar 5, 2004 4:36:51 PM

Shrinking? Him?


Posted by: Hoggish at Mar 5, 2004 6:29:12 PM

I am Lowell Jaks' one and only sister and have been following this website chatter a bit. I am appalled at what my brother did, but at the same time, all the comments my niece Nicole made regarding her father could also apply to Carl Jaks, Lowell's and my dad. Carl is the sorriest excuse for a father that ever lived. He spent 18 years beating his wife, constantly belittling and terrorizing his children, in addition to beating them, too. In this day and age, he would most likely be locked up like Lowell is now.

Lowell's actions are in no way excused because of the manner in which he was raised; however, you can't repeatedly beat and degrade a child from their formative years on up into adulthood and expect them to turn out to be emotionally healthy and stable individuals. Many people raised like Lowell turn out just fine, but many don't and who's to say which ones will be okay and what the deciding factor may be.

This unfortunate, illegal action Lowell took with his son Alec makes my disgust for my father even stronger than before. I hold him 50% responsible for how messed up Lowell must be. Lowell and his younger brother Pete were two of the most gifted and talented young men I knew, musically and intellectually, but their ability to cope with skills that come easily to some and not so easily to others were literally beaten out of them both. Neither one has led a stable lifestyle and probably never will.

So I'd like to extend a special "thank you" to Carl Jaks for the loving, compassionate and caring manner in which he raised his family. (That's sarcasm, by the way)

Jenny (Jaks) Grimm

Posted by: Jenny Grimm at Mar 9, 2004 9:00:06 PM


Regardless of upbringing, people are ultimately responsible for their own actions. Lowell Jaks is going to be held accountable for his. While he tried to "run" from his child support obligations and "run' from the "system", fortunately he got caught. Hopefully, this will send a strong message to those that try to copycat him. There are many who did not have the influence of a bad upbringing that you say Lowell did and are guilty of acts as heinous as what he did.

I suspect Lowell Jaks was given visitation with his other children and didn't choose to exercise it. He espouses the importance of having a father actively involved in a child's life, yet he didn't choose to be in their life. I suspect he was involved in Alec's life as much as he was because he had a 'cause' he had founded (ANCPR) and he needed to practice what he was preaching. After all, that was his source of income so he was somewhat motivated to do so. His visitation was not interfered with by his own words. He needed to flee to avoid going to jail. He could afford "state of the art" audio/video equipment but he couldn't afford to pay child support.

My point is, he KNEW what he was doing. He was methodical and calculating. He could have easily chosen a different path. Instead, he chose to be irresponsible and self destructive. Now, he's going to be held accountable.

I am truly sorry that you were exposed to a father who belittled and degraded you. I truly am. I am thankful that Nicole's mother had the strength to remove herself and her children from that environment, as well as Elaine. Hopefully, your families can now begin to heal and find peace.

Posted by: Chief at Mar 10, 2004 8:25:50 PM

Lowell should have shown HE knew how to be a good father by not imitating one who he KNEW was bad.

He made his choices, he is an adult. Are you saying your brother is a brainless moron and because your father sucked then that's a reason for him to commit a felony???

I ain't buyin' it.

Posted by: Moi ;) at Mar 11, 2004 12:09:15 PM


I never indicated Lowell was exculpated from his actions due to a lousy upbringing and if you read what I wrote, you could have avoided the need to proffer unsolicited sympathy and editorial comments. I do not want or need sympathy from you or anyone else. I made peace with my family situation long ago and don't need to engage in superficial psycho-babble like "begin to heal and find peace."

We are ALL responsible for our own actions. I couldn't agree with you more. All I am saying is, we are all wired differently when we come into this world and how we are treated, raised, or whatever, often plays a large role in how we turn out and how we deal with life.

I don't know anything about you and vice-versa, but I would hope that I am less judgemental than you, or even than I used to be.

Because I have been around Lowell so little through the years, I can't really say what he has or hasn't done. I do know that he has not been what I would consider a good father. Your message is somewhat speculative in your renditions of how Lowell conducted his visitations, etc., and I would speculate accordingly. But I would still be careful of throwing out too many judgmental comments when you are only in control of yourself and your own actions.


Posted by: Jenny Grimm at Mar 11, 2004 12:19:58 PM

Lowell's no monster. Any and all of his children were safe with him. He has humor and is a great cook. As I understand it, Alec spent most afternoons with him after school before Elaine got off work.
Whatever you call what happened, kidnapping is too strong a word.

Posted by: Otto at Mar 11, 2004 2:23:08 PM

Lowell might not be a "monster" per se, but he is a criminal. He broke the law and hopefully he will get exactly what he deserves. I don't think any child is "safe" with a parent who thinks its okay to break the law and take it into their own hands. It surely wasn't good for the boy to be moved over and over again. We all know what instability does to children, and the actions Lowell took of his own free will proved he should not be parenting children.

Posted by: Phoebe at Mar 11, 2004 8:39:42 PM

Otto says "Phuck YOU!" Phoebe.

Posted by: Otto at Mar 11, 2004 11:02:58 PM

Otto has real class.

Posted by: Lauren at Mar 12, 2004 1:44:57 AM

Okay, everybody out of the pool!

Uhm... for the record, the "Otto" who wrote "phuck you" isn't the Otto Jaks who wrote the first messages. I know who "Otto" is because I have your IP Address. "Otto" has already posted here with an identifiable e-mail address. However y'all wish to post is up to you, but please don't impersonate another commenter. That's just going to make things more confusing than they already are.

Just thought I'd clear that up for everyone.

Posted by: Trish Wilson at Mar 12, 2004 7:54:05 AM

Knowing who owns the car doesn't mean you know the driver.

Posted by: Samwise the Sailor at Mar 12, 2004 9:45:00 AM

Negative comments directed towards me don't bother me a bit. I assume its just another deadbeat parent crawling out from his hiding space. :)

Posted by: Phoebe at Mar 12, 2004 9:58:50 AM

Otto is a troll, Phoebs. Never mind trolls, they are ugly.

And you know what they say about ugly....

Beauty is only skin deep, but Ugly is TO THE BONE..........

Posted by: Moi ;) at Mar 13, 2004 12:51:25 PM

ANCPR calls for letter writing campaign in support of John Murtari Hello to all, John Murtari, a N.Y. Parents Rights Activist has been arrested in an act ofcivil disobedience to protest the fact that the mother of his son was allowed to move away to Boulder Colorado, effectively ending any kind of meaningful relationship they could have had. Mr. Murtari has taken this
step in a bid to convince Legislative representatives in NY to convene
hearings into the way in which custody hearings are conducted. The text of
ANCPR's news release on John's arrest is reproduced below. Kids-view has
also issued the same press release to many outlets in N.Y.

Posted by: Bentaly at Dec 6, 2004 3:11:17 AM

John Murtari has been arrested again? Hasn't he figured out that harassing and stalking Senator Hillary Clinton won't get a meeting with her? Lowell Jaks/ANCPR the convicted kidnapper calling for support for arrested-again Murtari. Isn't that rich? And these guys wonder why they don't get the results they want.

Posted by: Trish Wilson at Dec 6, 2004 7:23:51 AM

"John Murtari has been arrested again? Hasn't he figured out that harassing and stalking Senator Hillary Clinton won't get a meeting with her? Lowell Jaks/ANCPR the convicted kidnapper calling for support for arrested-again Murtari. Isn't that rich? And these guys wonder why they don't get the results they want."

A lot of people support that John Murtari however, as I frequently see fundraisings going on for him and letter writing campaign being organized...It's sad how misguided people can be about these things...I believe it's all related to most people believing the lie that fathers are discriminated against in courtrooms. This is what gives these men their power as people REALLY believe that fathers are the victims of discrimination when in fact they are NOT...

That's why it's important to keep generating and getting publicized HONEST statistics that show fathers are NOT discriminated against in court and that fathers who wish to have custody, get it...in some counties up to 70% of litigated cases are won by fathers, so it is actually mothers who face discrimination in courts...More of us have custody by negotiating custody, often making huge financial concessions in the process and losing access to substantial marital assets because of this...

It's nonsense what these men are saying but because false impressions are allowed to be put out in the media, claiming 90% of mothers get custody, for instance, (with no mention of the circumstances that leads up to this statistic) it is automatically assumed that this happens because our courts and Judges are biased...

Thus the lie grows bigger and allows men like this Murtari and Jaks to continue painting themselves as victims and generating sympathy and money for their cause.

Posted by: NYMOM at Dec 6, 2004 9:50:23 AM