February 01, 2016
My Luv Box: Adam and Eve's Triple Pleasure Rabbit Review
Adam and Eve's Triple Pleasure Rabbit
I have always loved getting triple play action when it comes to sex play. My husband knows this and pleasures me accordingly. He sticks his index and middle fingers in my vagina, his pinky in my anus, and he toys with my clit with his thumb. I squirm and squeal and make little kitten noises. When he does this he kinda looks like a redneck holding a bowling ball. So I call it the Bowling Ball Maneuver.
Imagine my sheer joy when I discovered that there are sex toys that do the same thing. I was delighted! So was my husband since maneuvering your hand like that makes it cramp easily. He has arthritis and even though he enjoys giving me pleasure it comes at a price. So now he can be like those therapists in the late 1890s and early 1900s who treated Victorian women for hysteria. Instead of working your arm and hand until you needed to dose them in an ice bath to ease the pain, you use a vibrator to do the work for you. That was the first use of vibrators. It's why they were invented. They were medical aids used by doctors to treat women with an ailment that didn't actually exist, but I figure the women enjoyed the "treatment" so much they came back for more. If only the doctors taught their husbands the techniques. They would never have had to return to the doc. But that is money out of doc's pocket, so he wouldn't want to give up his trade secrets.
Adam and Eve makes such a sex toy, which pleases me since Adam and Eve is a fine sex toy company. It's one of my favorites. You can rely on an Adam and Eve toy to be well-made and long-lasting. The Adam and Eve Triple Pleasure Rabbit gives the Bowling Ball Maneuver a run for its money. At only $60.99, you get lots of knee-knocking bang for your buck. The toy is phthalate-free and made of high-quality silicone – one of the best materials for sex toys – and it is 10 inches long. Longer than nature intended, with all the fun packed in. It's also 1 inch wide so you won't feel like an oak tree being cleaved in two. It takes 3 AA batteries. This toy is waterproof so take it in the bath with you. I didn't use it in the bath – I used it in bed – but I could easily bathe with it.
It's not overly heavy, which is a nice switch since these types of rabbits tend to weigh a ton. My wrist didn't give out for a change. The controls are also easy to use. When you hold the rabbit while using it, your thumb naturally falls right in place over the right buttons. It's just a matter of memorizing which ones do what and that's easy enough. This toy does it all – vibrates, pulsates, escalates, rotates. There are so many variations of all that movement that you'll likely never use all of them. I tried various speeds, pulsations, and escalations. All of them were good. I controlled the power and intensity, which was easy and exactly what I wanted.
Insertion was easy. I used a water-based lube and inserted the main body of the rabbit. The anal stimulator fell right in place and I gently guided it in with no problem. The clit bumper was positioned properly. Everything was in place and ready to go. While I enjoy vaginal and clit action at once, when you combine them with anal stimulation you get OMG EXPLOSIONS! It's as if Michael Bay directed my sex play.
This sex toy did its job quickly without being too fast because I controlled the stimulations. I like that. Coming too quickly is no problem because you'll have multiple orgasms with this rabbit. So hop to it and head to My Luv Box and pick up the Adam and Eve Triple Pleasure Rabbit for yourself. Does the woman you love have a birthday coming up? Is it your anniversary? This rabbit would make a sensational gift you both may enjoy. Get it, use it, and invent your own variation of the Bowling Ball Maneuver. You will have a blast. Michael Bay directed or otherwise.
The Countess Posted on February 1, 2016 at 12:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) in Sex Toys - Anal Toys , Sex Toys - Luxury , Sex Toys - My Luv Box , Sex Toys - Rabbits , Sex Toys - Vibrators , Sex Toys Reviews
January 28, 2016
Next On The Women Show (Radio) - Internet Crazies
Elizabeth Black writes in a wide variety of genres including erotica, erotic romance, and dark fiction. She lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and three cats. Visit her erotic fiction web site, her horror/dark fiction web site, her Facebook page, her erotic fiction Amazon Author Page, and her dark fiction/horror Amazon Author Page.
They are coming out of the woodwork. Plenty of people, especially women, have had to deal with Internet crazies. These crazies often show up in your Facebook private messages. Sometimes they aren't even your friends. I've had a slew of them recently, mostly men. Claiming to have military service is popular. Just today, I saw another one who claimed to be military stationed in Iraq. He had only one friend in common with me and I have no idea who that woman is. There was no other information about him available on Facebook. He doesn't update his timeline with anything about himself. Nope, all these guys do the same thing. He posted a picture of himself in civies and another picture of himself in his uniform. That's it.
Why do so many of these guys think that making a fake military listing will attract women? I've heard from numerous high-ranking (yeah, like I'm going to believe that) military personnel, especially doctors, who say they are stationed in the Middle East. They're rank, all right. Then there are the non-American men who immediately ask me if I'm married with children. Unfriend. Block. Or the men who tell me my profile picture is beautiful and they want to be my friend. When I told one I was married and not interested in hooking up with anyone, he said he'd love to pretend I was his sister. Yeah, sure. Unfriend. Block. Or the men who claim to have incurable illnesses (brain cancer is popular) and want to leave their money to me if only I leave them my bank information. Unfriend. Block. I toyed with one of these guys a few years ago only because he wrote in French and I wanted to brush up on my French. He asked me where I lived, if I was married, if I had children, and then launched into his sad story of having brain cancer and he needed me to donate money to him for experimental surgery that just happened to cost thousands of dollars. I noticed all his friends were female, mostly romance writers I knew. I warned a few about him, and they unfriended and blocked him. He did not update his timeline at all. The only updates were from unsuspecting women thanking him for his friend invite. I imagine he contacted them with the same tall tales hoping to get some cold hard cash out of them. I told him I couldn't give him any money, but I was suffering from an illness myself – terminal acne – and I desperately needed him to send me money for experimental surgery. I can't take credit for that one. I first saw that one on the comic strip Bloom County. Bill the Cat died from terminal acne. So I stole from the best. He ignored me and kept trying to get money out of me. He didn't react to anything I wrote no matter how outrageous it was. All he wanted was to part me from my money. I finally got bored and I stopped writing to him. He never wrote back and I see now his account is gone.
Women pull these stunts, too. I heard from one from Japan whom I friended and I should have known better. She immediately signed me up for two groups on Facebook with explicit porn. Unfriend. Block. Or the other woman on Facebook who talked to me for a few days before sending me a private message to say she was in dire need of several thousand dollars and could I lend it to her? Nope. Those "I'm stranded in Europe and I need money" scams from people faking your friend's accounts are common. So are money scams on the web. Unfriend. Block. These Facebook porn groups piss me off. Facebook won't take them down, but you post a book cover with so much as a hint of a nipple and not only is your cover taken down but you're put in Facebook jail for a week or more.
About ten years ago, I stumbled upon The Spam Letters, a website by Jonathan Land, a wiseguy who answered spam he received in the most outrageous and ridiculous manner. Some of the spammers actually wrote back and still tried to sell him stuff he didn't need or tried to part him from his money. He included lots of his responses to classic Nigerian e-mail scam letters. He has since taken down all of the several hundred spam letters except for about two dozen since he has compiled them all in a book, and the book is available for sale on Amazon. I did manage to find my favorite Spam Letter. He responded to an unsolicited email trying to sell him erectile dysfunction herbal supplements. Here's his hilarious reply.
Boy, do I have a bone to pick with you.
You should really pay more attention to who you send your advertising to.
I am a 17-year-old college student, who, as any average 17-year-old male could tell you, is sexually excited more often then not. If a butterfly flaps its wings in China, I guarantee you there isn't an atomic clock that can accurately measure the speed with which I will pitch a tent.
I know you were hoping to get some 45-year-old dentist who has spent the past 20 years of his life with a woman who makes any given NPR personality look like a sex kitten, and yes, that includes the guys from "Car Talk".
My point is this: because of your primitive "marketing strategy, you have screwed me over BIG TIME!
I've been seeing this girl for about three months now, and I've finally figured out the right combination of sensitivity and alcohol to coerce her into relieving me of that mighty, mighty albatross: virginity. So, we're back at my room in the frat house. We start making out a little and I need to go to the bathroom because I'm wicked blitzed, and I haven't taken a leak all night. So she asks, "while you're gone, do you mind if I download some mood music off of Napster"? Since I only have Limp Bizkit CDs, I have no "sensitive, love-making music," so I say, "Sure, get some Smashing Pumpkins or shit like that Baby." Am I good or what?
So I'm in the bathroom thinking: Okay, if I take her clothes off at the rate of one article every 10 minutes (an efficient, yet sensitive pace – I'm a math major), I will be losing my virginity within the hour, but then I realize: Hey, we're in Buffalo, NY. In winter. Who knows how many layers of clothing she's wearing! I might stay a virgin for two more hours! I can't take it! (That's when I remembered that I had thermal underwear on, and that just ain't manly by any yardstick, so I got rid of them.)
I come out of the bathroom, and she's just sitting there wit this completely different expression on her face. She says: "Sweetie, I saw that e-mail about the natural Viagra stuff that your friend sent you. It's okay, we don't need to rush this." I was completely torn. I can't say something like, "Yo, that ain't true, I'll make sweet, sweet love to you senseless right here, right now, over and over and over" without giving up the sensitive front. So I say, "Baby, I'm sorry you had to find out about my erectile dysfunction this way, but I'd like to try this. I'd like to try and make you happy." She was on board. Kid Genius had saved the day!
So we were fooling around for a few hours, and all I'm thinking from the get-go is: "Okay, why am I not hard yet?" This girl is a cheerleader for Christ's sake, and my penis is acting like I'm in bed with Nathan Lane. After a while she gets real frustrated, calls me a fag, goes home, and the next day she's doing one of my fraternity brothers. My one prospect of virginity-loss has slipped through my hands like a grain of sand in an hourglass, a moment of time that cannot be regained, just like that grain of sand that will never pass through the glass chamber in the same way, no matter how many times you flip the thing over. And believe me. I tried flipping her over, and that didn't work either. (I've got a minor in philosophy – can you tell??)
Did you know that some ancient tribes from South America, such as the Yanomamo, punish murderers not only for the people they've killed, but for the deaths of the potential descendants of those people as well? Well I should fucking sue you to the tune of all the girls I could have done by now if I lost my virginity as scheduled. All because of you, I'm still a virgin. Maybe since last week I could have banged 30 chicks a night, but I'll never know now. I'm just sitting around waiting for the mayor of Poonville to award me the medal of pity and give me the key to the city.
Thanks loads, dude,
If you'd like to buy the book to read more of these delightful letters, just to go Amazon and look for The Spam Letters in either Print or Kindle. What's really amusing is that Land convinced a spammer to write his forward. Go check out the book.
Now back to more Internet crazies. Before I was a fiction writer and sex/relationships writer, I wrote political and feminist articles for several magazines and web sites. I was quite well known, and with the fame came the misogynistic baggage all feminists have to deal with. These were my first Internet crazies. I regularly heard from men's rights activists who liked to tell me I was wrong about everything while calling me a cunt and worse. In case you don't know what they are, men's rights activists are men – mostly middle aged white men but some are younger and of color – who feel that their sense of entitlement is being threatened by gains made by women, people of color, and GLBT folk. There are also women in the men's rights movement. They are the men's auxiliary, and they support the guys in every way, even down to doing their grunt work for them. These women were most often wives, girlfriends, sisters, and mothers of the men in the movement, and they had a vested interest in seeing the status quo maintained. I estimated that women comprised about 40% of the movement. Some of these guys want to repeal women's right to vote. They claim the vast majority of rape allegations are false. These guys will whine to anyone who will listen to them, and that often consists of an echo chamber of their own kind. Now, they meet on the Internet. Before the Internet, they met in member's homes, church halls, or other public places. They're very politically active and they try to roll back gains made by women, people of color, and GLBT folk over the past 30 odd years. And I heard from plenty of them, the emails ranging from mild insults to death threats.
Due to the influx of nutcases harassing me on Facebook over the past week, I've decided to host a radio show on The Women Show about Internet crazies. Do you have your own tales of strange men harassing you on Facebook? Do you get email from Nigerian princes who want to send you millions of dollars (people still fall for that one?)? Do writers friend you only to immediately spam your timeline and private messages with junk about their books without so much as saying hello? If you've experienced any of this or know someone who has, this is the show for you. Here are details:
The Women Show – Internet Crazies
Date: Thursday February 18, 2016 6:30 – 7 PM EST
Host – Elizabeth Black
Guests – Phoenix Johnson, Christine Morgan, and Jen Winters.
Keep an eye on my Facebook page for more details, including a link to the show with more information.
Elizabeth Black - Facebook
January 20, 2016
My Luv Box: Lelo Soraya Review
I have long had a love affair with Lelo sex toys. I own Liv, Lily, Nea, Gigi, and Luna beads. As the years progress, Lelo toys only get better and better. I'm going to tell you all about Soraya, Lelo's streamlined rabbit, and you'll want to buy one immediately. Soraya isn't the only Lelo toy you may find at My Luv Box. Check out the site for more selections.
First, let's get the particulars out of the way. Soraya is an 8 ¾ inch vibrator with an insertable size just thick enough to make me purr. The insertable size is 5 by 1 ½ inches. Not too big, not too small. Just right. Like Goldilocks. Like all Lelo toys, this one is rechargeable which means you don't have to mess with pesky wires getting tangled between your legs and harshing your cool. The charge time is about two hours and the run time is four hours continuous use on full charge. There's plenty of time for you to enjoy Soraya without having to recharge it.
The toy is lightweight, which is very good since I've noticed many high tech rabbits are a bit on the heavy side. Trying to get off when your wrist aches isn't fun. The controls are also easy to use. You don't have to be fluent in Braille to use Soraya's controls. With a press of a button you may change the pulsations and vibrations as well as the speed. There are 8 unique vibration modes, and all of them are serious yum. I prefer a constant hum at a mid-level of intensity, and then I ramp up the intensity the closer I come to orgasm.
I've used many rabbits. Some are too heavy. Some are too cumbersome. Some are just too damned big. Some are frankly ugly. Some have buttons that are hard to use. Even the LED lighting doesn't help. Some are too loud. Some have vibrations that are too intense and the controls are hard to use. The unwieldy ones make me want to put the toy back in its box and never use it again. Soraya has none of those problems. It's a beautifully-desinged sex toy – streamlined and classy looking. It doesn't look like a gigantic purple glitter penis. It's lightweight with pleasant vibrations and pulsations. It has elegant packaging. It even has its own satin pouch. It's rechargeable, which is always a big plus in my book.
Best of all is the way it makes me feel. The vibrations are designed to be positioned in the perfect spots. No twisting is necessary to make sure my sweet spots are hit at the same time. I can move it back and forth for additional pleasure. It also doesn’t feel like I'm impaling myself when I use it. I could go for hours using Soraya, which means that four hour continuous charge is a good thing.
The vibrations are also pleasant. They aren't so strong that I go numb. I can control that. I can make the shaft and clit stimulator run independent of each other, too. Always a plus in a rabbit.
The clit stim is positioned in such a way that it accurately homes in on my clitoris. I don't have to use deft hand maneuvers to get the vibes in the right places.
Soraya is made of skin-safe materials. Silicone and medical –grade plastic, to be specific It also has a metallic coat. It has an ABS core. This toy comes in three colors – deep rose, cerise, and black.
When you buy Soraya, it comes in a fancy black box with the toy nestled snugly in its spot. The charger is in its own section and a small pouch for the toy sits beneath it. You also get a moisturizer sample, an instruction booklet, and your warranty. The packaging is very classy, which is what you expect from Lelo.
As usual, Lelo delivered. It hit it out of the park with Soraya. I can't recommend this vibrator enough. If you like rabbits but find them sometimes to be as cumbersome as I do, you must purchase Soraya. Get one for yourself and someone you love.
The Countess Posted on January 20, 2016 at 07:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) in Sex Toys - Lelo , Sex Toys - Luxury , Sex Toys - My Luv Box , Sex Toys - Rabbits , Sex Toys - Vibrators , Sex Toys Reviews
November 05, 2015
Emotional Bliss Intimate Massagers
Emotional Bliss Intimate Massagers is holding a massive Indiegogo campaign, and you must get in on it! Here's the link to Emotional Bliss's Indiegogo campaign. Founded by Paul Telford working with Julia Cole an eminent British Psychosexual Therapist working in collaboration with Relate and The College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (CORST), with over 300+ Psychosexual Therapists from the UK, Europe, USA and Australia based on the pioneering work undertaken in the 60's by Masters and Johnson in the USA. Emotional Bliss has evolved through a better understanding of how to stimulate the orgasmic platform, the most sexually responsive area within the female body.
Founder Paul Telford rightly said, "Every woman has the right to embrace their natural orgasm. Now... and throughout their lives."
I've reviewed two of Emotional Bliss's vibrators, the Femblossom and the Womolia. Both are fab. Here are my reviews. Read them, and participate in the campaign.
Enjoy female pleasure like never before with Emotional Bliss products. Head to the Emotional Bliss Indiegogo campaign page and sign up now!
February 17, 2015
Coming In 2015 - New Family Saga/Thriller Novel SECRETS AND LIES
Here's the blurb:
"Secrets and Lies" is the tale of Kate Stanwood, an ordinary woman thrown into extraordinary circumstances when her father is found murdered. She lives on Caleb's Woe, a Nantucket-like island and artist's community off the coast of northeastern Massachusetts. As she delves into her father's death and her family's history, she discovers many dark secrets her friends and family want to see remain buried. Her classy, sophisticated uncle and family patriarch is a child predator, her brother cheats on his wife and his taxes, and mysterious circumstances surround her own birth. The appearance of her new friend Dominique Beauvoir on the scene only raises more questions. Why is this woman so eager to get close to Kate's family? This story is about two women who find out who they really are and where they're really from. It's also about how Kate discovers the cozy notion of family she had held for many years has been a sham.
Here's an excerpt:
It looked like someone had taken a wrecking ball to the living room. The dining room chairs had been thrown onto their sides. Shattered crockery and glassware lay in piles at the base of two antique crystal cabinets. A brass floor lamp lay across the rug, its round, fringed shade crushed like a spent balloon.
The family painting, a banquet table-sized oil that normally hid the safe above the fireplace mantle, had been tossed to the floor and shredded. These were not random slashes. The majority was across Matthew's face; the fewest scored that of Clara, Robbie's mother. Deep tears gaped in the canvas where Robbie's sister Kate's face had once been. The slashes that coursed across his face in the portrait disturbed him so much that he ran his palms over his cheeks.
The safe was open and empty. Robbie knew that his father kept some stock certificates, rubber-banded wads of cash, paperwork related to the family business, and old letters in it. He couldn't remember what else was in there, but whatever it was, it was now gone.
When he first saw the blood on the floor next to the breakfront, he wasn't sure what it was. It took a few seconds for the scene to sink in. He took a few steps closer to the tableau to get a full view. The smell hit him square in the face. It was so strong that he could taste it: thick and metallic. His stomach convulsed. He swallowed hard to keep from vomiting.
His father lay face up with his arms and legs splayed at cock-eyed angles, like a marionette that landed in a broken pile when tossed in its box after the show was over.
A gaping hull was all that remained of his fathers' face. Robbie averted his gaze so that he wouldn't have to look at where those accusing eyes had been. He squeezed his own eyes shut so tightly that he saw his blood flowing in dark waves that mimicked the spray of splattered gore on the wall behind his fathers' head. When he composed himself, he opened his eyes. Bugs Bunny heckled him from the television, one finger pointing at him as if all of this was his fault.
February 11, 2015
Sex Toy Review: Impress G
I love rabbit-type vibrators, an the Impress G is a fine one. This rabbit is thick at the tip and narrow at the base, making me feel all filled up and then some. It's made of silicone, my favorite material. So soft and supple, yet pliable enough to move with me. The clit stimulator is large and effective. This rabbit has dual motors, one in the clit stimulator and one in the shaft. Which is as it should be. I enjoyed the wide variety of sensations of 12 intense functions of vibration, pulsation and escalation plus progressive speeds. Trust me - you won't be bored with this vibrator.
I also like that it's seamless and aerodynamic. This is a sleek and fancy looking vibrator. It effectively combines form and function. It's not heavy and the controls are easy to find and use. You don't have to play hunt-and-peck. I also get auto lock which makes things even more enjoyable.
Rabbits are a girl's best friend, and this is a fab rabbit. You can't go wrong with it. Pick up your Impress G today. I'm impressed!
Buy your sex toys from California Exotics.
Sex Toy Review: Power Play Triple Teaser
The Power Play Triple Teaser by California Exotics is a delight to play with. This vibrator homes in on four pleasure areas - your vagina, your taint, your G-spot, and your clitoris. There's nothing as pleasurable as a quadrupal-whammy. I love the way this vibe feels with the combination of sensations in four of my most sensitive areas. With the additional stimulation on my taint (and anus), as well as the G-spot and clit sim, I'm guaranteed intense orgasms.
The silicone vibe is skin-safe and easy to keep clean. It also feels sleek and smooth. The controls are easy to use. I just slap on a little lube, slide the vibe in place, and play to my heart's content. At approximately 7 ounces, this baby isn't too heavy, which is a problem I've seen with other, similar vibrators. This lightweight delight is fun to use. It has three speeds for lots of variety. I like the fastest speed best but all three are a delight to enjoy. There's nothing as enjoyable as getting all your erogenous zones tickled at the same time. Talk about powerful!
I recommend this vibe for women who enjoy multiple sensations, especially G-spot orgasms. You can't go wrong with the Power Play Triple Teaser.
Buy your sex toys from California Exotics.
December 18, 2014
Sex Toy Review: Pocket Exotics Vibrating Double Gold Bullets
The Pocket Exotics Vibrating Double Gold Bullets was a perfect choice for the holiday season with the festive gold color. The dual bullets provide lots of combinations for extremely enjoyable sex play. I could share one with my husband so he can use it at the same time I do. Or I could insert one bullet and use the other on my clit. Or use one bullet on my clit and the other on my nipples. The possibilities are endless! The multiple speeds give lots of variety, too. I prefer to start off fast and end with a screaming orgasm. The speeds aren't so intense I go numb, either. The toy is quiet and doesn't disturb anyone in adjoining rooms. The batteries also last a very long time, so I may use this toy at my leisure.
This is a very versatile, compact and powerful pocket vibe, just as it says on the box. If you enjoy external stimulation you'd enjoy this toy very much. Also, your partner may use one bullet on you while you use the other on yourself. So many possibilities! Perfect for solo or partnered play, you can't go wrong with these Vibrating Double Gold Bullets.
Buy your sex toys from California Exotics.
October 22, 2014
Sex Toy Review: Scandal Corset Cuffs
I love the Edwardian look, so these Scandal Corset Cuffs are delightful for me to use. The black-on-red satin brocade in edged in black with black ribbon lace closures looks very elegant. These cuffs are lightweight so I may move my arms about easily, although they won't go very far when I'm cuffed to a chair or bed rail.
Velcro fasteners make the cuffs easy to put on and - importantly - easy to take off. The velcro also allows the cuffs to adjust to size so they are neither too loose nor too tight. The black chain holding them together is strong enough to take a hefty yank or two. It's also a good length. Neither too short nor too long. It is also detachable.
These cuffs may be used on both wrists and ankles. They comfortably fit as well. They are also nickel-free.
These cuffs are ideal for light bondage play. If you're just getting into bondage, give these cuffs a try and enjoy your kink. Share with a partner. Or two. Or three. You can even wear them alone since they are easy to attach and remove. This is a fine and elegant pair of cuffs. Get a matching corset to set the look.
Buy your sex toys from California Exotics.
September 15, 2014
Sex Toy Review: Passion Pals Fluttering Butterfly
The Passion Pals Fluttering Butterfly is a classic rabbit vibe well suited to everyone no matter her experience with sex toys. This purple vibe has powerful vibrations with the most intense swirling beads. I love the labial massage I get from the beads as well as the deep massage from the shaft. The butterfly side mount covers my entire labial and clitoral area so I get pleasant vibrations all over. If you want intense orgasms - even multiples - this is the sex toy for you.
It's easy to hold and not too heavy. The controls also light up so they're easy to see in the dark. Hold down the button for three seconds to turn it off. There's also wide variety in the different settings so you may choose slow or fast vibrations. You also get a wide variety of pulsations bound to please every woman out there, no matter what sexy mood she's in. The five rows of beads provide lots of massage and stimulation. I of course like to have all the gears going at once to get the best benefit from this sex toy. Requires 3 AAA batteries.
I'm very satisfied with this vibrator. I love rabbits to begin with, and this one is enjoyable, functional, and easy on the eyes.
Buy your sex toys from California Exotics.